I didn’t owe anyone anything when I was born. I should have came into this world free but instead I came with the cord wrapped around my neck, figuratively. And somehow I went through abuse and neglect, thinking this was normal and everyone goes through it. I stumbled along realizing none of it was, my life was destroyed by those who should have helped me succeed, and the only person I had was me. I walked with my animals, knowing they would never betray me. I protected, fed, and cared for them wishing someone cared for me. I gave my life to things I knew wouldn’t hurt me and played it safe but it was only for so long. The boredom mounted, I needed social interaction or so I thought. But social interaction is only as good as the people involved. There are too many out to belittle others, tearing them down until they don’t even want to wake up. Then they have the nerve to flip it, like the person was deserving of it when they shouldn’t have wasted their time. People who hate themselves hate others. They hate what they cannot communicate. They hate they have to wake up and realize their life is not what they wanted and instead of changing it, take the easy way out. Pick a target, maim them, take away their independence, their individuality, and harvest upon it like a whale taking out a sea lion. One second, it’s over, they hit you hard, then run away like a coward.Say you don’t know pain when they created it for you. A regeneration of past memories surfaces in your brain of all the pain you’ve endured and you wonder why? Why do some go through so much and others so little? Why is it in most people’s nature to target the already targeted?They think you’re not worth a dime, but your thoughts are worth a million, forged out of every tragedy yet you will not end like a Dorian Gray. They will. And maybe you cannot even speak, you appear dumb, simply because you do not waste breath on people who strive for a temporary satisfaction. The kind of people who stomp on others when they are already in a pile. You deserve nothing until you earn it. You don’t earn it by inflicting pain on others but being kind. Simple. Be mature, don’t misrepresent yourself, be kind, and people will open up. And not everyone is the same, some have unusual talents, so realistically no one is not deserving of anything. We are all deserving of something. We all can contribute in some way to society, it is just if we have the desire to. And desire can be evil or good. It is up to the person but if you chose evil be prepared to surround yourself with it, eventually having to decide if you can cope with the guilt and shame you feel for being that kind of person.
Great read, thank you for sharing this piece. ajm