I always thought the grass was greener on the other side. I spent most of my life believing this, and trying to leave my hometown. I became obsessed with the idea if I stayed here there would be nothing left. I spent days on end, researching demographics of regions, and trying to decide on relocation. In my mind, I already left, but I was still here. Was it worth thinking like this? Did it help or hinder?
No matter where you go, your troubles will go with you. No matter how hard you try to escape from something, it will always be here waiting at the end of the night when your head meets your pillow. If there is truly something bothering your soul, then fix it. Don’t just take the easy way out and leave. Fix it. No one is going to do it for you, people are too busy fighting their own internal battles half the time to be aware of yours. Your feelings compose your strengths. To medicate them, to overly talk about them, to runaway from them, is to run away from your true bliss. And the further you run the harder you will have to run to fix it. If therapy doesn’t help, then do not go. If medication doesn’t help, then do not swallow it. If a friend isn’t helping then tell them how they do not help and try to fix the issue. Do not throw people away like trash, because one day when someone does it to you, you will remember when you did it to someone else. This will grip you with shame, but shame should only grip one or two fingers, not all five. Shame should teach you, not break you. It is not a weapon, but a tool for finding a solution. Use it wisely and you will rise above anything. You will have good people beside you as well. In the end it doesn’t matter where you are, but who you are around. It matters when you wake up and want to write, craft, drive, sing, dance, and live. The trees will be there, the air will be there, the sky will be there, and the moon will come around. All will be there beside you no matter where you are. That is why when I look up and see the sun I imagine how those farthest away are also seeing it and we could be thinking the same thing at the same time. I find comfort in knowing things are the same now. I do not find a discomfort in the familiar. What I know is my power, not my downfall. Change yourself, not just the environment in which you live in.