The next day at work was gut wrenching.
“Suz! Get I go that pan cleaned up for me as soon as you can!” Her boss said while throwing it into the hours worth of a pile.
I hate my life right now. All I’ve been through and I end up back here, cleaning the filth of society or being a modernized servant. She thought.
“Do you think that’ll wash itself Suz?”
“No boss. I’m sorry.”
Am I a whiner right now? They all look at me oddly when I cannot focus upon mundane tasks because my brain is constantly thinking of philosophical questions without answers.
Even when Suz thought she wasn’t moving fast enough, she was. The looks she received seemed to be mostly admiration, envy, or nothing deep at all. Suz seemed to think everyone wasn’t on her side until they proved otherwise though. A skeptic of most; a lover of a few worthwhile.
I can’t wait to get out of here. Anything is better than having my hands burning in hot filth dish water. She thinks.
“Good job today.” Her boss said with half the meaning behind it.
“Thanks.” Suz attempted to reply genuinely to the disingenuous tone.
The smell of fresh air ignited her senses like a match to a gas stove. She always would stroll into a nearby park, escaping the busy streets and reminiscing about the way the corn fields smelled. The sounds of birds chirping in the morning and the crickets at night. It all gave her a kind of peace, nothing or nobody could. The park was an escape, her drug compared to everyone else’s usually toxic choice.
“Suz! Suz!” A familiar voice yelled, disturbing her peace.
“I thought that was you!”
“Oh hello Ciera! It has been a long time! How are you?” Suz asked, hoping she wouldn’t ask her too much.
“Same old. Going to college. Parents paid up my apartment for a few months, so just catching up on studies. They seem to think I should have a 3.5 but this was their idea to send me here. I’m just going through the motions to appease them for now. Haha.” Ciera admits.
“Well I guess that’s better than not being in school.”
“I suppose. I’d rather be out working sometimes, but I know they’d give up on me if I dropped out. So feels like I have no choice.” Ciera said while looking depressed.
“You could trade lives with me? Haha! Want to wash dishes and try to go to college? I feel like a crane lifted me and kept dropping me up and down all day. I’ve change in my car, slept on benches, carried 10 hours of classes worth of books. And I don’t even have if it’ll be worth the investment? Haha! All I can do is hope. And hope sometimes isn’t enough.”
“That’s definitely deep Suz. I’m sorry I forgot how much you’ve been the recently, with the hospital and all? I don’t want to upset you by mentioning it but I was worried. Look if you ever need anything, like a night out.. it’s on me. Well, my parents really. Haha! That sounds horrible but I sometimes forget how well I have it. It’d definitely make me feel less selfish to do something nice for someone else. Plus, I can tell you need it more than me.”
“I truthfully don’t know what I need. I don’t think anyone can give me what I need either. I just want to get to a point where I can give and give. It’s so much better for those in this world who have more to give. They have a choice; give or be self absorbed. It is actually quite a powerful one. I hope I can get there someday and be a positive influence. I don’t think anyone can help me but myself Ciera. But, thank you. If anything I need quiet nights. I have a world to compete with. And I’ve taken some steps backwards then forwards, then backwards again.”
“Gotta make up for lost time. I understand. Been there. My parents helped me so much out of troubles, I can’t imagine facing the world without them.” Ciera admits.
“We all have to eventually. We all become similar in the end. All that is known disappears and we must stand alone with what strength we have left. Your parents just want to see you stand, not lie down. Take it as a good thing. Some of us have felt like we walked through life alone since the day we were born.” Suz says with a strange accepting-like tone.
“Never thought of it that way. You really do put things into perspective. What I’ve always adored about you as a friend. You’re a rare friend Suz. Thank for that. I have to run to class or I’d stay.”
“It’s okay. I need to walk off work stress and study myself. I hope I run into you again.”
“I’m sure we will. Bye Suz. I’ve missed your face.”
“Yours as well. Bye.”