Validation Rant

The recent Facebook issues raises an interesting question: what boundaries should we have on social media? Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think it’s okay for a friend of mine on Facebook to install an app, and somehow my information is compromised. But if you have hundreds of friends you don’t know: I think that’s silly. It’s like asking for more spam, bots, fake profiles, an unfullfilling feed, and a lack of boundaries.

I think this points to an issue with how we operate on certain social media platforms as individuals. We all have choices. We also have the option of the mute, take a break, or block button on Facebook. We don’t have to add just anyone either. We have many options people don’t utilize to customize their experience. I get it though, some just don’t care. Some weren’t even aware how to check which applications have permissions on facebook until now. By any means, no one has to take Facebook seriously either. But I caution those who don’t. You’re showing a lack of concern for your information being taken and a lack of boundaries.

Depending on how you operate, it also sends a message to others. You could be one of those people who likes everything, adds everyone, and has zero boundaries. But if you add anyone, everyone will start to add you. If you have no boundaries, you’ll attract the same. If all you care about is the number of friends you have, adding hot men/women, the number of likes you have: you have an insecurity problem. And you’re also more likely to attract the phony confident online type. Or those who are secretly looking for validation through the wrong behaviors. Likes produce validation for some but at what cost? Why do people care if a stranger they never met likes their post? Why do the numbers matter over who related to it? Some platforms even make it possible to buy exposure in order to achieve more likes. As a result, those with less money have less exposure. Some of these voices remain discouraged. However I want to remind people out there perception is key.

I find it more meaningful when likes come from close friends and family, than from a stranger. I don’t care if you see I have 30 friends on Facebook. I don’t care if no one likes my post. I don’t need hundreds of Friends. I don’t want requests from strangers. They creep me out. Deciphering whether their an ex stalker, bot, fake profile, or information seeker is an annoyance. The last thing I’d do is add them and add to the fake profile problem or have my information stolen.

I guess what I’m trying to say is Facebook has flaws but people also need to think about how they operate on the platform as well. Not caring is like putting trust in the site and every stranger on it. Caring is setting boundaries, knowing settings, reporting fake accounts, and reporting those who break policies. With the way the I operate on Facebook, I definitely have less of a chance of being compromised or compromising anyone else.  Considering my list has 30 people and I know my settings well, I feel safer. I don’t have the desire to have my ego stroked while looking at how many friends I have. I don’t desire meaningless likes from strangers. I say what I mean, don’t care about appealing to popular opinions, fitting in, and find people respect you more when you don’t seek validation through the internet. Validation comes from yourself. Most become addicted to social media because it rewards the brain instantly. Taking on a new hobby instead of spending hours a day on social media would be more beneficial, right? Sharing things you create or do, has more of a reward. Finding real things to do in life, keeping up with responsibilities, and paying attention to the right people in life is more fulfilling long term. Don’t forget you have a choice with how you spend your time and how you fill the void in your life. We all are always seeking validation but it is how we do it that effects others and ourselves.

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