I am tired of cliche sayings about love. Haha. No…trust is not given automatically. Do you trust a random person at a supermarket to save your life? No. Do you walk up to people and just say: I trust you stranger, here are the keys to my house? No. So why do people think in relationships, trust is not earned? Realistically, you give some trust when you form any relationship. But is it fair to yourself, to give the person all your trust? This is where my perspective differs than most. I’d say it’s not fair to yourself. Relationships are built; not created from thin air. We all walk around with these unrealistic expectations of love from the beginning. Maybe if people thought of trust differently, as earned, relationships would actually last. Actions speak louder than words. Simple. If your actions made your partner uncomfortable, you either work it out or not. If you walk away from conversation, good luck with any trust building with anyone. If you act like your partners concerns are not valid; you are the issue. If you can’t talk to them without raising your voice: you are the problem. You are the kind of person who expects trust and depreciates it at the same time. Don’t expect to have trust if you can’t maintain it. Don’t expect everything from someone, if you don’t value their feelings, perspective, opinions, and boundaries. Someone who actually loves another person, would listen. They wouldn’t make the person afraid to speak up. They wouldn’t watch you lose sleep, look sad, and fret over some drama they refuse to address. When you actually care, you want to talk things out. Period. You want to know why relationships fail? Communication. More specifically, the avoidance of it, withholding of the truth, and overreacting when it finally builds up. People want to be “happy” and equate this to meaning no bumps in the road at all. They are quick to run away like cowards, rather than put the work into that person. When you start to devalue, compare, and put down your partner: you’re the coward. You cannot admit you are in a cycle of relationships, and the cause could partially be you. Do you want to continue a cycle, blaming everyone else, and not listening to anyone’s grievances? Or do you want to see where you could have been a good person, and be that way? The worst thing to do to someone who loves you is to not listen to their feelings. No money, no gifts, nothing can make them feel better. Maybe they wanted respect, boundaries, communication, and affection. It’s that simple and sometimes people overcomplicate relationships. So before you go tossing away someone like their trash, lining up your next option like their unaware, and overreacting: think if you actually tried to effectively communicate. You could be throwing away someone worth fighting for, for another cycle partially caused by yourself. And maybe there would be less unnecessary heartbreak, if people actually put the effort needed into a relationship.
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