“So are you ready for this Olivia?” Jackie asks with a serious but at the same time goofy grin upon her face.
“I am never going to be ready Jackie. That’s the problem. If I just sit here and think about preparing to be ready, then nothing will happen. I am just going to have to endure the aftermath of my decisions.”
“Let’s just go buy the lottery ticket already. I am actually getting antsy. I know you aren’t looking forward to it, but I sure am. It’s like watching the Truman show, except everyone else has no idea you are the one pulling the strings. And perhaps creating the narrative at times.” Jackie says with a hint of excitement.
“Alright. Let’s get this over this. I may become so nervous, it won’t happen tonight.”
As they arrived at the gas station, Olivia’s hands were already shaking with anxiety. She knew there was no turning back now. She was there, Jackie was with her for support, and it felt like it was too late to back down. Not only would she be disappointed in herself, but Jackie would be as well. This was her chance. This was the chance she only dreamed of, that finally could be a reality.
“Let’s do this.” Olivia said with a little bit of influence from Jackie in her voice.
“Finally, I am rubbing off on you a bit. I tend to do that to people. Not sure if it’s a good or bad thing. We’ll find out in time, haha.” Jackie says with childish enthusiasm as she always does.
They go back to the car with bags of snacks and the ticket, of course.
“This is going to be a celebration like I have never had before. More like, like no one but us will ever have. I feel privileged to be here to experience this with you, Olivia.”
“I’m really nervous, but this feels like it’s the right thing to do. I think other people would do the same thing. Part of me feel immoral for doing this, but the other part thinks: in the end I will do a lot more good than evil in this world.” Jackie says, then stars blankly like she always does when she is deep in thought.
“I think you need to stop thinking for just awhile. Stop overthinking too. That would help. Learn to let whatever happen, and if you mean well, things will come back to you as they should have eventually. We all bear scars, some more than others. But I have noticed, the most decorated with them, end up always giving the most. You’re different, Olivia. So don’t expect anyone to think, behave, write or speak like you. Let go of expectations in general. Nothing is definite in life anyway.”
“You always make me go back to being rationale. Thanks Jackie. Once again, I owe you for making me avoid another panic attack inside my head. Haha. You should be a life coach or something. I feel like that what you are to me, and I hope I am not draining you when I speak of such things.” Olivia asks in an indirect manner.
“You don’t drain me. You inspire me, my dear. And I inspire you. Isn’t that one of the greatest gifts of friendship?”
“It is. It is, indeed.” Olivia admits.
They wait for the numbers that night. Not feeling as if the situation they pictured in their heads would actually become a reality. Eating ice cream, snacks, and reading like they always did together. Then the reality sunk in as the numbers were announced. Olivia looked as if she was about to faint at first.
“It…it…is…” Olivia mutters.
“Hold on!” Jackie shrieks as she pulls the bean bag chair behind Olivia’s back. “Here’s some water, drink it slow.”
Olivia is looking pale, hyperventilating, but somehow her breaths are slowing down each time Jackie says: it’s going to be okay.
“I’m hap….happy. I…I…just can’t believe it actually happened Jackie!” And she finally lets out a smile, one that Jackie will never forget.
“You’re going to change the world with that smile, my dear.” Olivia says with tears in her eyes.