I had a dream the other night. I was sleeping in the most beautiful white bed surrounded by white roses. Suddenly, the roses turned black as I started having a nightmare. You slept peacefully as I thrashed around violently. Crying and kicking my feet in the air, I was fighting for my life. Trying to throw off all the past, attempting to crush everything around me including you.
You woke before I did. Left instead of waiting to comfort me. So angered at the battles in my sleep, you decided I wasn’t worth it anymore. After you moved my belongings to our empty pool, I woke up in tears. There were now bars over the windows and cameras on me to keep me out. You chained my leg to a ball, so when I stood up to find you I fell on my knees. Crawling like a baby, I found you by the back door.
You outstretched your hand like you were going to forgive me but then pointed outside. Go to the pool, you demanded. I crawled all the way there as you watched me struggle. I took one last look into your dark eyes, then started to stare vacantly into the night sky. Every night I tried to focus on the moon and stars as I watched you invite the new woman inside.
I curled up in the middle of the empty pool, that was now filled with all my things and my cats. They huddled around me to keep me warm. Eventually it didn’t feel as cold and empty anymore. Eventually I didn’t even notice the big house, the other woman, or the beautiful bed. I.even tried not to think about how you left me with a chain on my foot in your empty pool. I knew I tried my best to love you. Tried to fight in my nightmares but it was never enough. And if it wasn’t enough, you were never able to accept my love anyway. I left you one white and one black rose at the door, then disappeared from your view forever.