I think a dream was meant for me to have and as scary as it was, I’m glad it happened. Sometimes people will say your dreams aren’t meant to be interpreted, but I beg to differ. It felt so real, I have been trying to understand it for days now.
        In this dream, I woke up to the sound of creepy scratching on my door. At first, I just stood there staring at the door thinking it wasn’t happening. Thinking it was the result of an overactive imagination. As it grew louder, my fear started to transform into anger that this was happening. How dare something invades my space in this manner?! I thought as I glanced through the peephole. It was some kind of demonic creature, staring back at me. I fell to the ground, crying and terrified, gripping my heart. Then a rage grew up inside of me, and the question asked was: am I going to lie here forever in fear? I swung the door open and stared right back at it. For a moment I saw all its darkness as it cowered. The creature howled then turned into a pile of ash at my feet.
    Other doors swung open and as I looked up, my neighbors were applauding. I once again fell over in exhaustion but they were all around me. Someone was holding up my back, while another poured water down my throat. I cried, hugged them all, and rejoiced some kind of victory. I saw light everywhere, it creeped up the hallway until it touched my cheek. I cried and instead of wiping my tears, they let me respond to a battle that almost left me with nothing.
        I think this dream was about overcoming narcissistic abuse. The questioning of scratching on my door is a representation of fighting gaslighting. Fighting your way back into trusting your perceptions are real and valid. Trusting that there are people out there who will attempt to make you believe your intuition is incorrect in order to gain control. My reluctance to face this reality because of the immense heartbreak it causes was me falling to the ground. The rage was me finally facing the fact I didn’t deserve to be treated so poorly and regaining a sense of self-worth. The creature turning into dust was no longer accepting responsibility for the abuse. No longer letting society victim-blame me or make me feel as if I have to tear myself apart to find a way to not fall into the traps vulnerable people are lured into. Those around me applauding are the people I will inspire to never accept this into their life because no one, and I mean no one deserves to be treated in such an inhumane manner. The people helping me showed me that if I help them, they will be there when I grow weary. This has been my story the last year. I am safe, loved, and equipped with the knowledge to help others. We all struggle, maybe transform without even realizing it, but when the smoke and mirrors clear our purpose is exposed. I have always asked why this happened to me, but I see now in asking that question I found an answer: to help others heal. To fight against the darkness that attempts to destroy the light in this world.