She sits alone. Once again, all alone. The sound of her most loyal company waits: an obese squirrel she overfed. It has all her interest but at times it doesn’t seem to care. Just like some people, it eventually just expects what it has always been given then taking everything for granted. And all the rest of the squirrels it fights off, take their weary, underweight bodies to the ground below to live off his scraps. They look up at his beast-like nature, partially in awe and partially filled with resentment as if to say: how does he not realize what he has?

So odd how the world works in this way, and how much you can learn about human beings by observing animals. You give your attention to another living creature and it becomes almost as if it is just there. Like an object, just there for the taking. So sad how it seems to work this way with most creatures that barely seem to notice they don’t breathe like those who are truly alive. Like those who would rather breathe life into others than focus upon what they can receive out of it. Treating people like 401 k’s, like stocks, like their only worth is how many dollars they have in their bank account.

I’m just in an out of this world mentality. I don’t mentally reside in the malls, the fancy car, and the expensive events. Something in me has changed due to suffering. Due to being the squirrel on the ground, looking at all the ones above me for too long and deciding I’m okay with being down here with the forgotten. It has turned me into an appreciative, resourceful, empathetic, relatable, and humble human being. No money, no objects, and no person with a higher status can take this away from me. They’ve tried but failed in the end because I would rather have nothing than lose myself to what I perceive is a threat to the most beautiful souls in the world: inequality.

I Refuse To Be

I refuse to be

The villian in your history

Evil in your dichotomy

I refuse to be

The one who infected thee

When the world you chose was a mystery

And I can see

What’s ahead of me

it’s better than

a gaslit reality

And it’s so sad to see

You seek revenge on me

Rather than say sorry

When I wake up

And the sun hits my skin

I go to the mirror

Now see what I have within

You can go ahead

Think you can win

I refuse to be

The devil in your story

I refuse to be

You’re unfinished poetry

You’re pushing forty

Got plenty after thee

But not many of quality

Doesn’t astound me

So contradictory

Treated me like an accessory

Bought all us the same scent I see

But I’d rather have the simplicity

Of being who I want to be

And find someone who will love only me

For just me.

Find Another Prey

Beware of the vultures

Beware of the vultures

The ones that look like perfect sculptures

But really are just vulgar

Hide in the shadows

Creating issues while playing martyr

Convincing everyone they are smarter

Running from the destruction they leave

A dear departer

Always playing victim but just a firestarter

Puts a ring on your finger

While pulling on every womans garter

And I hope you stay away

I hope you find another prey

I hope you have fun with the play

The one where I had nothing to say

Beware of the parasites

Beware of the parasites

The ones who come out on sleepless nights

Try to steal your identity, all your light

Try to make you feel the need to fight

Always have you in a state of flight

Where the kisses seem to feel like bites

Hold you back from your greatest heights

Love you while holding a knife

Coming back just to cause more strife

Can’t be alone cause it doesn’t suffice

Always rolling people like dice

Always rolling people like dice.

Take Me to the Waves

Take me to the waves

Take me to the waves

Need to wash away this pain

Took too much of the blame

So take me to the waves

Spent all these nights alone

Crying at my cold bones

Wondering why I struck this tone

With myself so far away from home

Found the past and my present grown

You clipped my wings but I had flown

Stronger than a tornado the winds blown

Failed at turning me into your clone

Nightmares haunt me, but I survive with moans

My body feels like nothing but a loan

Road I’m traveling surrounded by cones

Take me to the waves

Take me to the waves

Need to wash away this pain

Took too much of the blame

So take me to the waves

Nights spent being hibernate

Mind shutters at the time I spent

Trying to absorb your sins and repent

For thinking you were heaven sent

While your narrative was sadistically bent

Bruising my heart when it was leant

Wishing I didn’t think you could be my Clark Kent

While in your eyes my body was for rent

I have every right to vent

Every right to vent

Take me to the waves

Take me to the waves

Have to wash away this pain

Took too much of the blame

So take me to the waves.

Someone with the Devil Inside

I hope it’s nice out there

Sun shining here

Despite your rainy clouds everywhere

Some days it’s just too much to bear

Left with a thousand wounds from you

Acting like you’d always care

I swear you’ll never shed a tear

For how many women you left

Living in fear

How many days will you go?

With that evil glow

Someday it’ll blow

Yes, I swear you were a demon of some kind

Still trying to take away pieces of mind

But hold up, I ain’t blind

Had a good heart

But will never mess with your kind

So keep running your mouth

To all the fools you had hanging on a shelf

And I’m so glad I didn’t marry you

Rather crawl on my knees

Until they turn the deepest blue

You’ve probably already had a few

Not just beers, but people

Who end up not liking you

Cuz’ no one wants a fake fool

Living like a teenager

Acting like it’s cool, Haha

The jokes been on you

It’s on you

Go ahead try to escape

What mistakes you made

But you seal your own fate

Sitting outside the pearly gates

Burning alive

It’s no surprise

You’ll end up depised

No one wants to be beside

Someone with the devil inside

Someone with the devil inside.

Wheels and the Disablers-Part Four

Her tribe had not forgotten her. Through the lonely nights, the lack of escape, and the feeling of being shackled; they waited for her return. And they laughed at the way she kept going, the way she finally stood up for herself like they knew she would. And remembered the times she stood up for them, embraced fear as if it was nonexistent, while staring into the eyes of lost little boys declaring they were men.

The three way call was long overdo. They reminisced about the old days, where they had more freedom, were adventurous spirits on a pathway all the same. Enjoying the days as if they would never end. But distance would never keep them away from one another for long. That feeling was reassuring to Wheels, who now felt isolated in her apartment while watching the would go by outside.

“Hey remember that time you yelled at that one guy for grabbing my behind at the bar? Remember how scared he was of a little petite girl with a big attitude? And he was over six feet tall! Haha!” Sydney exclaimed.

“Yes. Of course I remember that night being the sober Mommy figure, protecting you girls as if you were my daughters! Haha. No regrets!”

“Or how you poured milk in school over your bullies head after the school wouldn’t listen to you? That was priceless! He never bothered anyone in that way ever again.” Angel laughed.

“Yup. Looking back, I hate I had to do it that way but sometimes the world doesn’t operate the way it should. Sometimes you have to teach a lesson so people can grow up and realize there is no elevating by themselves by putting others down.” Wheels said with a kind of tone that mimicked one of a new found maturity.

“Well, that was deep all the sudden. Haha. That’s what I love about you though Wheels. You can go from a joke to a serious remark in seconds. It’s like being on an adventure even just talking to you on the phone.”

“Sometimes it feels I am on a misadventure lately but it is up to me to make a reason for it. With every obstacle we face in life, there is the opportunity to create meaning. At first, it seems absurd but with time the meaning becomes clear.” Wheels sighed.

“Sorry Angel but I have to say something to Wheels. Listen. Don’t you ever forget who you are. I know you lost us for a while, but we were always there and we will always be there when you need us; you just have to ask. And I am so grateful you reached out. Some battles do not have to be fought alone. I know our modern society will say clichĂ© things to you like: No one is going to help you, you must save yourself. But this is not always true. Yes, there are some out there who have no one but you are admired, loved, and some people want to see you do your best. Remember who you are, my dear. You are and always have been the warrior. Even penniless, even with one leg to stand upon, even after some managed to convince you, you are nothing; you still fought for yourself. I don’t think you realize how strong of a person you are.” Sydney said with a gasp as if tears were rolling down her face.

“I second that speech. I knew you were battling a war few survive but I also knew if a person could survive it was you. And there were times where I just wanted to help but felt powerless. Felt as if you were almost programmed to steer away from those who truly loved you and be loyal to those who only wanted to use you. Just know, no matter how much time it took; you won. You were able to get your head out of the dirt and into the water.” Angel said.

“You girls make me cry. I don’t even know what to say. I never thought I was that inspiring to you two. I thought you moved on, had a family, got married, and forgot about me. I really thought I was just a ghost to many people at this point.”

“You will never be a ghost. You have more will than some people acknowledge. And once you can walk again, I have a feeling it will become an explosion of creativity, adventure, and love will follow you everywhere you go.” Sydney encouraged.

“Don’t worry about those who doubt you. They don’t want you to get better, be successful, independent, and show them up. Imagine life is a game of dodgeball, where most are flinging balls at each other faces and there people like us are; standing in the back, barely throwing the ball because we don’t want to hurt anyone. In the end, who has their glasses on their face? haha. Us! Who has a non pelted body? Us! Why? Because we put kindness above competition. Now, that is having class baby!” Angel joked.

“I needed that kind of joke. It was getting too soggy around my eyes. My contacts are falling out girls. Haha. I look like I put marker all over my face from this mascara running.” Wheels chuckled.

“Oh stop! I have seen worse from you and you from me. That’s why we will never not talk. We accept the faults and the greatness in one another. Well, I have to head off to work! Goodbye Sydney. Goodbye Wheels! Love you both!” Angel said as she finally hung up.

“Me too! But Wheels, do not hesitate if you need anything. If you want us to visit just say so. We will pull you out of that apartment and into the fresh air if we have to carry you girl! Love you! Bye!”

“Bye, my beautiful friends! And thank you for being awesome as you always have been!” Wheels said with a new found sense of joy in her tone.

And it was at that moment, she realized they had never forgotten her like so many had said. They were just waiting out the tide like she was, waiting for the waves to settle and set into the shore. They were waiting to create new memories to replace the old turbulent ones that left her mind in a state of despair. There was hope always there, waiting to be rekindled at the perfect moment.

Shine For All Your Lies

And I see why

The stars in the sky

Shine for your lies

Fooled by your fake demise

Caused by the ones who truly loved you

You pushed aside

No good reason why

I never would of said goodbye

You chose a lifestyle

A way to die

Forced me to run away and hide

Forced me to face your true demise


Now I can see why

The stars in the sky

Shine for your lies

I can see why

The stars in the sky

Shine for your lies


Battling this empty space full of fire

Grabbed some sticks

To make your funeral pyre

Eyes so distant

With fake desire

Putting on quite a show

For those who keep you low

Raging storms are coming ahead

I tried to save you

But I chose me instead

Someday I know

I will hear you’re dead

What a sad way to go

With a bottle of lead

And I can see why

The stars in the sky

Shine for all your lies

I can see why

The stars in the sky

Shine for all your lies.