Miss Magic Part VIII

Olivia lets the security guards check her purse. Of course, they find the cards she had forgotten about. Her eyes widened with horror.

“It’s not what it looks like!” She exclaims.

“Sure. It seems to me it is exactly how I appears. Both you girls come out back in our questioning room immediately.”

Olivia looks towards Jackie. “I am sorry. I had forgotten…”

“Just be quiet Olivia. We knew this might happen.” She replied.

They bring the girls to a room with white walls, sort of like something the FBI would bring you to. Jackie starts getting more nervous, which is making Olivia more nervous.

“Can I just explain something to you really quick?”

“Go ahead.” The security officer says.

“This is going to sound a bit crazy, but I think I am a bit different.” Olivia tries to explain.

“Listen, kid, I do not have time for games. Tell the truth or there will be issues.”

“I think I have special abilities, sir. I can change those cards. I was practicing with those ones in my purse in the bathroom. Ask Jackie.”

“Listen, I don’t want to be locked up in a looney bin with her, but yes…I have seen her do this. It’s unbelievable.”

“If you’re so special then do it for me right now. I have college kids play games with my head all the time about this stuff. So sick of it you two. You have no idea.” He says, sounding somewhat exhausted.

He gives her a card, in which she shows it to him again, just so he knows what it is.

“I see it.”

She does her magic, thinks of a rhymed chant, and hopes it actually worked. If it doesn’t, they both end up looking crazy and possibly sent to some kind of crisis center then jail. Sweat collects on the tips of her fingertips, her eyes are tearing up, but somehow she keeps a somewhat firm expression of confidence. She turns it over.

“What the!!!”

He steps back.

“Listen kid, if you’re some kind of experiment gone wrong I don’t want anything to do with this. I don’t think I am crazy but hold on. This room is under survelliance. Maybe I didn’t get enough sleep.”

Jackie chuckles slightly. “Go ahead. We can wait.”

Olivia looks even more scared though.

“What if they send some people to stab me with needles and stuff Jackie? This is no joke. I just found this out and we already exposed me. Geez, what the heck…” Olivia says.

“Just chill out. You can tell them you won’t sign anything to be their experimental monkey. For now, let’s just see what is going to happen. Do you know anyone else on this planet in this situation right now?” Jackie explains.

“True. We shouldn’t be talking either. They are definitely listening to everything we say too.”

He eventually enters the room again. This time, whiter than a sheet like he has seen a ghost.

“Listen. I have no clue how you did that. I don’t know how to even handle this kind of a situation but I believe you. We probably should be alerting someone of your capabilities but then again, they are yours. I am going to do something that could cost me my job in the future. Maybe even some of us who have watched the footage back there. You could do good in this world with what you have, or you could do bad. I don’t know what you intended to spend the money on, but most would use it for their own benefit. I suggest you do otherwise. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, because you were trying to be honest with me from the beginning. I don’t think you are like a lot of people out there. In fact, I don’t think your friend here, Jackie? is either? I am going to let you leave with your earnings today. I am going to hope you take some of it that you need, then use some of it to do something good. I have turned off all recording just to say this to you girls. If I didn’t, I would only be shooting myself in the foot like I explained. Now, that I have put my faith in you two, and possibly my job in the future, please leave and do not show your faces in here again. I only want to see you on the news for doing something brave and beautiful.”

By the end of this, both Olivia’s and Jackie’s eyes were full of tears. They were able to hold them back, but he knew they were affected by his words. They hurried with their belongings, while repeatedly and graciously saying “thank you.”

As they made their way back to the car, Olivia says:

“If angels exist. We met one just now in human form. Just when I thought people wouldn’t risk anything to do good in this world they exceed my expectations.”

Johnny Man (Not Boy) Part Five

“I really hope you both don’t think I wanted to do that though.” Liz says with a guilty expression.

“I know you didn’t. Please don’t feel horrible. If it wasn’t for you, Thomas and I would not be here. And who knows what they would have done to you if they found you Liz. You did some quick thinking and that is what we needed in the moment.” John reassures.

“Thank you.”

“Agreed. Sorry I am not the one with the words, but you were quite the impressive, most sneaky lady I have ever seen.” Thomas says.

“Thanks again guys. I really don’t know what we are going to do though if this place keeps getting attacked every night. I do not have enough ammo for a big fight every night.”

“We don’t. That’s why we must set traps Liz. Secure the perimeter. Intimidate. Send a message to people who want to steal from us, attack us, and not be with us: that we are a force to be reckoned with.” John declares.

They dig pits around the perimeter. Instead of creating stakes in them, they leave water and a morsel of food. The truth is, they need fighters. People who have guts but maybe lack direction. This will help create a strong community they both agree.

John comes up with a string system around the perimeter attached to bells inside the barn. He has them all labeled with numbers corresponding to a map he created of the area. He will know where an attack is coming from before the enemy even knows he exists. John has studied every inch of the landscape today. He studies everywhere to hide, run, engage or disengage. And Liz is quite impressed.

“I think you know this land better than me in one day John.”

“I know. That is the goal, haha. I can’t have you telling me where to run, while I am being shot at my dear! We all have to act independently at times.”

“Indeed we do.”

The bell rings. The one all the way on the left. John double checks the map and points.

“He’s coming from over here. If the bell rings several times, there must be more than one.”

It doesn’t ring again.

“Liz, you stay here. Thomas come with me.”

“There is only one though, John. I can handle it. Stop treating me like a baby. Thomas I am in charge, you stay here.” She says sternly.

“Okay, Liz. Come with me.” John says, trying not to argue at a crucial moment.

She grabs her submachine gun.

“I’m ready.”

John chuckles and they head in the direction of the potential enemy.

“It’s a woman, John!” Liz exclaims as they see her on the edge of the clearing. Her clothes look disheveled. She looks like she has been through something horrific.

“Stand back Liz! This could be a trap! Please stay back. Listen to me I do not have a good idea about this!”

She almost runs to her, but instead something inside of her told her to stay by John. He moves slowly towards the woman by himself. Instructs Liz to stay at least fifteen feet behind him. She follows his orders, secretly terrified inside, her heart racing more than it has ever before.

“Put your hands up slowly maim! I am just making sure this isn’t some kind of trap. If you are innocent you have nothing to worry about, my lady. And by some miracle you have found us.”

He sees three men emerge from the edge of the clearing as he moved closer to the woman.

“Please don’t kill me.” She says while in tears. “They hurt me already. Please don’t hurt me. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Liz, get ready.” He mutters.

Her words are breaking John’s heart. He knows this could end in tragedy depending on his next move, but moves have to be made. He moves swiftly towards the woman, only a few feet away and pushes her aside to the ground. He falls to the ground himself, then starts shooting, each bullet hits each man in between the eyes. They fall like cartoon puppets, like something out of a movie he imagines because the past memories he has of war would easily make him lose his mind.

“I didn’t want to have to do that. But once again; I had to do something I didn’t want to do in life. Liz come over here and help this woman. I have a faceful of dirt right now and am tired.”

Liz is in shock. She feels she has just watched one of the best gunmen in the world protect two women from harm’s way. She grabs the woman’s arm calmly, looks her in the eyes and says:

“My dear, you cannot stay out here. We must be quiet for now. It’s going to be okay now. You found a sanctuary in the middle of chaos. It’s going to be okay.”

The women quiets her sobbing.

“Thank you. Thank you both. I don’t know what I would have done if you both hadn’t been there. They tried to use me as bait. I’ve seen so much already. I’ve seen so much already. You have no idea.”

“Shhh. It’s okay. We’ll get to the barn soon and can talk there. Just stay calm.” Liz reassures.

John doesn’t say much. He is still in shock he just killed three men and hasn’t had to do so much killing since the war. He honestly feels sort of unprepared emotionally, but knows if he were to express this to anyone, they would think of him as a weak character. So of course, he doesn’t. His heart is heavy for the unknown woman that just graced their presence as a piece of bait. He thinks: How cruel do you have to be to use someone else as bait? This is the kind of behavior which has ruined our society and caused such great conflict in the first place. He sees this as a symbolic situation; sort of beyond the situation. It makes him sad, deep down. He wants everyone to join forces together who stand for a good cause, but he also knows ultimately some people will give into fear.


Free Thought

This new wave misandry running rampant in our society is a testament to how important free thought truly is for everyone. Even for the opposition. Let us not forget this. There is a time and place for certain movements. There are these unseen barriers which can be potentially crossed. If one group is sort of silenced, it is only a matter of time before that group becomes oppressed. Then eventually they feel as if they must defend their right to speak freely. Our educational institutions used to support this, but over time had turned into a catalyst for research biases and prejudices. They once stood for testing the great openness and magnitude of the human mind’s capabilities.  By the way, I don’t even like using the term free speech anymore because once again it is thrown around, not easily defined anymore, and makes me sound like I am trying to avoid going into depth. And no, trust me I am not. I am tired of sort of “hiding” how I truly feel out of fear. In college, I oftentimes found myself up against some biased professors, grading me upon my opinions, rather than how well I actually backed up my thesis. At some point, this infuriated me so much, I went to the Dean and was granted a well deserved second look over the comments upon my paper. This led to a discussion of how to remedy the situation. Remedy?! A number could not remedy the stress I felt after spending weeks on a paper and having a professor unfairly grade my thought provoking discoveries because they didn’t prove a particular interest? If anything it showed me certain people, even in the academic setting, were not immune to a sort of ideological sickness. I personally started questioning everything I read even more than I previously had. Even if it meant taking a hit on my grade for my opinions. Nothing matter to me more than staying as unbiased and true to the reader. Nothing.

We need to start dissecting words again too, not just questioning things that are presented to us on a silver platter. We need to actually look words up. We need to care about definitions if they have them and/or try to come up with a better idea of what they mean to us all in a modern society.  If a person does not care about language, then then essentially do not care about dialogue. If a conversation is attempted about subjects the person is not well versed in, this oftentimes leads to confusion, misunderstandings, and unnecessary conflicts. Which in my opinion, is what we see now all across the world and all over the internet. How many people have you honestly prejudged this month? We’re all truthfully guilty.

And honestly some things on the internet are not helping our modern society look well spoken anymore. Our language has become nothing but a sort of a joking matter to some. Social media sites such as twitter limit characters for example. Character limitation to a writer, is like missing half a canvas if you were a painter. I have resorted to writing in notepad now then screen-shotting it sometimes to Twitter. I have observed, if a person writes long responses though, people tend to trail off of reading them all the way. They admit oftentimes, it is “too long.” Or it is clear they do not understand what is being communicated and are quite possibly ashamed to admit this. Or they do not wish to attempt to figure it out out of pure lack of motivation towards others. A sort of narcissistic, I only care about things that concern me personally attitude. Whatever the reason, it is frustrating to try to engage in conversation with these types of people, because a person can easily become mentally drained by the interaction.

We cannot live in a society either, where just technology and business eventually only matter. If no one can communicate ideas effectively then they are ultimately useless as well. Yes, there are self-made people out there who mostly work alone and are quite productive but they are rare. Most humans need to ping ideas off of each other, get feedback, and attempt to evolve. Without it, some are working blindly to the needs of others. You could build the best rocket in the world, but if no one can afford to go on it because it costs so much to build, then what is the point? Get my drift?

What I am trying to say here, is inside of our educational institutions there are realistically biases everywhere. There are probably mathematics professors who cannot write a paragraph, without a fragment. There are probably English teachers who can write all day, but cannot do algebra. They perhaps do not have respect for what they each do, but that definitely needs to change. Being a teacher is a difficult job enough as it is. Departments and subjects should not be so divided in the educational system it creates a sort of perpetuated unappreciative attitude within the campus which then leads to the real world. I personally took classes I was not comfortable with, in order to challenge myself at times, discover what I was so afraid of, and perhaps run into different people than myself. What I have found so important the most is being able to effectively communicate your ideas. Doesn’t matter who you are, your interests, background, rich or poor, Fin aid or trust fund paid, communication matters. What we see now with a lot of people is a breakdown in communication. A frustration at something around them, that they perhaps cannot find the root cause of or have been misled into thinking something is the particular root cause.

We are living in the day and age where this is a war on information. There is an abundance of it out there, just not much of substance on the internet. It is oftentimes difficult to find, especially with certain search engines. (Do me a favor and research alternate search engines). No wonder honestly some students from broken homes, or even nice homes cannot decipher what is actual real at a young impressionable age and what is not. They are just focused upon fulfilling the narrative of going to college and being a good boy or girl. Whether it be the modern misandrist, the antifa communist/socialist, or just the naively led college kid by a biased professor, one thing is clear; some people have been misled. And I am in no way excusing violent or threatening acts, because at heart I am truly a pacifist. I will honestly stand there if you hit me but trust me I will sue you later if I desire. Let’s me frank here. Some went to college looking for knowledge,  but ended up indoctrinated into thinking a certain way.  And some are even paying for it for 10 to 25 years, now realizing the cost had truly no benefit to advancing their career. In my opinion, education is sort of a modern day advancement in loan slavery. There is misdirected anger it seems and a lack of focus towards the core issues at hand. The truth is, people need each other in order to take a stand against certain deep rooted societal issues in the future. Especially things like job growth, educational biases, student loan debt crises, clean water crises, health care costs and corruption on small and large scales. There is enough division already being created. More division is exactly what those who are truly secretly winning would desire out of all this conflict. Who benefits from the conflict? Just try to answer that question alone, and you are on the right path to knowledge.

Miss Magic Part IV

Olivia grabs her shoes, all excited. Composed of all the energy of a titan until she runs into the somewhat nosy neighbor. She knows this will become a draining experience within two minutes but she feels guilty if she doesn’t endure it. The woman has no human interaction for day and is definitely a people person.

“What are you up to today? You look nice.” She says as if trying to be

“Oh. Just a Birthday party for a friend.” Olivia says feeling guilty
about lying.

“That should be nice. I hope you have a good time.”

“Thanks. Hope you have a nice day.” Olivia says quickly and nervously as
she is trying to calmly move away from the conversation.

She never understood what her neighbor does all day besides occasionally blast Christian rock music. No television is ever on, and no noise is really made. It is as if she doesn’t move all day. The thought concerned her really. Perhaps it is depression? She thought. She felt badly for lying to her and not inviting her but Olivia had waited so long for a real friend and didn’t want her to be scared off. She knows how skiddish she can be herself, and since Jackie seemed similar, she knew it could be risky. She was tired of taking a risk every time in her life for other people. But being selfish felt bad at first.

They met at Jackie’s favorite coffee shop. She drives miles to get there just for a Colombian coffee. Olivia finds this internally insane. She attempts to explain Jackie can buy Colombian coffee at the grocery tore, but Jackie swears it is nothing like the one she is currently drinking. She moves on from trying to save her money, suspecting Jackie might be not concerned with money at the moment. Realistically Olivia knows she doesn’t know her background yet, for all she knows Jackie could be a trust fund kid or one step away from living in the gutter with her Colombian coffee. Either way, Olivia is a bit concerned she might blow through her money buying dumb things, end up like the rest of us poverty stricken fools. Olivia had seen even the wealthiest of people fall because of bad behaviors. Anything is possible.

“So what’s the plan today?” Jackie asks.

“I don’t ever make plans anymore. Avoids the disappointments.”

“True. But how could anything we do together end up in disappointment? Haha!                We seem to entertain ourselves pretty well alone. Let alone around people
who are one in the same.” Jackie says with great enthusiasm.

“You’re right.” Olivia admits.

“Let’s go drive around until we find something! I know it sounds weird but I
have GPS so it’ll work out.”

Jackie had this reassuring nature Olivia needed at the moment. She needed someone who wasn’t afraid of life.  Wasn’t afraid to get in the car and get lost once in awhile with the right person. She felt sort of honored to be in her presence. As if she was a kinda of magical blissful fairy, showering her with fairy dust, trying to make her have fun. Deep down Olivia was stressed about money though. Based upon Jackie’s car she started thinking Jackie did not have the same problems as she did. Perhaps, she couldn’t relate to her struggles, but for some odd reason they clicked on the same wavelength regardless. They drove around until Olivia found a water park & adventure center. Of course, the billboard stood out and even though it was quite a drive, Jackie didn’t seem to care about the gas money involved. When Olivia tried to pull out cash at the gas station, she refused it.

“I just want a real friend Olivia. If you do me wrong in the end, it will
suck for you, not me! Ha ha!” Jackie said in a jokingly but serious

“Oh I know! I am not used to this treatment, my dear! I feel guilty even
accepting it. Please take something from me.”

“No. I don’t need it right now in my life. If I do in the future, I’ll
know you will have my back, my dear.” She said with the sweetest

“Thank you. It has been so long since I went anywhere like this place. In
fact, I don’t think I have ever been to a place quite like this in my
whole life.” Olivia said excitingly.

“I can tell. You are hiding your giddiness.”

While Olivia used the restroom for a moment, Jackie went to the ticket booth and bought both tickets to everything in the park. Even with the speedy “cut in line” access. Olivia was quite moved by this gesture, tears swelled up in her eyes, almost pouring down her cheeks but she held them back, back into her eyes out of embarrassment.

“Don’t you worry, my friend. Don’t feel bad. Let’s go have fun now. Let’s
enjoy everything we can right now.” Jackie said while she rubbed her
shoulder as if she was a child.

“Thank you Jackie. You don’t know what it means to me.”

“Oh I know, my dear. I’ve waited for a friend like you for too long.”

“Me too.”

They spend their day in inner-tubes like children. Flying down water slides at high speeds. Fitting in with children but not caring about the judgments of others. Having so much fun, nothing else mattered to them. Then onto the ziplines. They bought hats like Indiana Jones had laughing at they flew done the lines side by side, as they flew off. Not caring about materialistic loss. Just happy in the moment with each other. It was the first time in a long time, they were both genuinely happy around another human being. They both knew these moments would never be forgotten and could not wait to go on another adventure.

Miss Magic Part II

The air smelled different. Even the clouds seemed to roll in differently. She thought to herself, what the heck am I doing here? Perhaps I have ventured out too far from the nest. She imagined slowly turning back, getting back onto the plane, and back to her childhood room. She imagined lying her head upon her mother’s chest as she cried, but then the thought repulsed her. She realized there was absolutely nothing for her there. No opportunities worth fighting for. It was a depressing, but at the same time, uplifting fact.

She wasn’t like the others. Her eyes always paid attention to her surroundings. So internally exciting by all the activity, all the faces, all the lights, and all the accents. Sometimes she would go home and practice accents, attempting to pull them off in public, and realizing someone either fell for it or might have thought she needed a 5150 (mental institution). Either way, it slowly didn’t bother her what people thought. Most of the time her brain was honestly so intrigued by the behaviors of other people, she felt like an outsider, with a non-narcissistic personality disorder unlike the rest of society. She thought to herself often I sometimes wish I had a cabin, could eat beans and rice, and be left alone to write. But it seemed like the world swarmed around her, even when she barely came out into the light, either intrigued or misunderstanding her.

Settling into seeing palm trees rather than pine trees was quite the experience for her as well. Still is. But she managed to find the redwoods, which made her feel like she was Alice Wonderland as she walked through them. She always had a way of finding a balance. To her, if something made her sad, there was something else to counteract it. Always an answer with enough research and persistence.

She spent most of her undergraduate working heavily as a server, staying up late with homework, and a pot of coffee. Lack of sleep induced psychosis happened eventually and she was forced to put the books down. She often thought, I wish there were forty eight hours in a day. Can the earth’s rotation change right now, please? It always felt like there were not enough hours in a day and coffee.

At times, even in the big city, it felt lonely. She wondered if Neil Gaiman ever felt this way? Margaret Atwood, perhaps? I think so. She’d convince herself to keep researching and writing. Keep finding inspiration as well and trying to give it back in appreciation.

The struggle was real. Like when a farmer asks you if you’d like a chicken, walks over, and cuts it’s head off, real. With no family support system nearby, working as a server, and trying to compete with those who might have had a bit more support, she felt sort of silenced at times. Money equals powers but let’s be honest, some people shouldn’t have money because they are honestly irresponsible with it. She often thought, they’re so dumb, they couldn’t even hire a decent financial adviser?  Then internally laugh, trying not to look externally crazy having deep thoughts like this at the laundromat. Until one day another quirky, eccentric, character like herself walked in to the laundromat. It was as if it was going to take a couple more run intos on Sunday evening (the weirdo avoiding time) for them to talk. But finally, she spoke:

“Uh. You dropped your underwear. Sorry I noticed.”

She looks down embarrassingly. “No. Uh. Thanks for noticing. It would have been more embarrassing if anyone else came in here.”

“No problem, girl.”

“My name’s Olivia. What’s yours?”

“Jackie. They call me jackles the crazy but I just act crazy. Please don’t tell them.” And she laughs hysterically.

It was at this point in time, Olivia knew it was like all the forces in the universe, like all the particles in the air, conjoined to form a planetary like friendship bond no other binomial nomenclature could possibly come close to. But then again, anything is possible. Olivia never rules out anything in life.




My Brief Thoughts on Kathy Griffin

Kathy can pose with a bloody head of whomever she wishes but she must suffer the consequences of those actions. She is a public figure, has influence, and somehow believes this plays no role in why she is receiving backlash. It does. If I did the same thing, it probably wouldn’t matter as much.

Kathy must have agreed to the photo shoot and had prior knowledge of what it encompassed. Public figures have had some not so great career choices in general, facing the same kind of backlash. TMZ reports on Hollywood drama twenty four seven hours a day it seems. We have to admit the American audience seems to enjoy drama, downfalls, and emotional meltdowns. Did Kathy ever stop to think she is perhaps just a puppet? A lifeform of cells they invested into and now just desire to control? Perhaps, now she realizes how important it really is to think about what ideology she represents, if it means holding up a bloody head while trying to promote some kind of peace?

She is nothing more than falsely representing an ideology where most are actually supposed to be invested in a pacifist-like demeanor. She has been exposed now as a fraud. Don’t go blaming the ideology itself, for it is nothing truly but a word. People give context and meaning to words as time goes on. They can say they represent something as well, but we as people have the right to be skeptics.  Skeptics of news, people, and pretty much anything we like. As a society, we have lost our desire and/or ability to question what is put before us. We eat anything that says it is good for us and we listen to those we admire with the same kind of attitude.

Liberals are suppose to be about improving society as a whole, and focusing upon many different aspects in society to create the best utopia possible. They are suppose to be open minded and adaptable to many situations. Kathy and many celebrities in Hollywood, claiming to represent these kind of values, are nothing more than empty shells waiting to be used as puppets in a repetitive narrative. They do not represent these values and to me, represent a sort of fabricated image they have to uphold because of invisible influencers the audience never sees.

Sorry Kathy, but a person cannot really play victim when the money was already exchanged for values. As far as Kathy’s case, no money can buy back the respect of the people she lost. Opinions are valuable, everyone is entitled to them, and delivery does matter. Tone matters. Imagery matters. Words matter. Expressions matter. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where digital convenience spreads information, so being a public figure has more influence than some realize. It is not just some youtube video posted by an unknown person with a limited amount of views. This was seen by a large audience. Political affiliations aside, what kind of values does a person represent holding up a bloody head? Seems kind of extreme. I hope people out there are able to put aside labels and judge those based on character and actions. Sometimes it is better to walk in the middle of the road if there is an intellectual traffic jam going on both sides. Sometimes it is better to think before you react. Right Kathy?

Bring Them Alive

I have to bring them alive and out of my head…

Or they will never truly be alive

And could end up dead..

A tragic waste, someone should have read…

Stored all inside my defiant head…


And I’m losing sleep as the words pull me out of bed…

waking me from my dreams to live in reality instead…

Oh I have to be alive and out of my head…

Oh why, she first cried, wanting to slumber instead…

Like a forgotten fragment time had led…

to a narrow path in the woods

instead of what Frost had said….

And now she still sits peacefully at the dead end..

The stillness comforts her, as she tries to mend….

Her feet from all the pathways she tried to bend…

Just to find something, she had in her head…

Just to find a way she could have led…

herself away from this place…

And into what she thought was reality instead…

But turns out to be a figment of her imagination

And in time she finds the soul is just intertwined…

Particles of space and time…


And she tried to climb the ladder,

blinded by the thought of it all being gone

Instead of just trying to remain strong

Holding herself up, while trying not to pull anyone else along…

in her already weighted down mind….



Oh, I have to bring them alive and out of my head…

Or they will never truly be alive

And could end up dead..

A beautiful waste that should have been read

A beautiful song, that should have been played..

Outside of my head.