You were the Clyde of my life

swept me through the water

then sank me down under

I tried to breathe but the rhythm was off

my rhythm was off

it was only to the beat of your heart

And it was only when I felt my last breath

I wanted to run away and live…

Raise me up

then take me down

throw the mud over my hair

and kick me to the ground…

but I will blink it all out of my eyes

count the bruises

and never do it again…

never do it again…

You were the Clyde of my life

I may have played Bonnie

but inside I could hear the bodyguard song

and thought Whitney was right all along…

as you played Sweet Jane

as if I was kid handed a candy cane…

that was too old to eat…

Raise me up

then take me down

down to the ground

fill me full of dirt

then kick me when I make a sound

cuz’ all you wanted was silence

but no silence could quiet your own mouth.



He stares into the night as if the road isn’t there anymore. He is driving but he appears to be floating mentally above the clouds, placing himself so high no one can catch up. Not even the pope, an oracle, Einstein, Dali, or any brilliantly crafted person could reach him. He chooses to be lost. There is the road but it goes back around in circles, creating a diversion even the strongest person could fall into. I have seen those eyes before, saddened, beat down, and fallin’ like the sword of a samurai. I don’t know when your eyes lost their color but I wish they could be restored the brightest color possible. I try to figure out all the triggers but so many exist it is nearly impossible to sustain some kind of bliss. Your mouth moves like a poem then a dagger. I blame myself but there is no way all your pain was caused by just me, you barely knew who I was. Perhaps, you could not see all your pain eventually manifested in me, like a ghost haunting a soul so I became the warrior. Left with scars, empty eggshells I once cracked to make you breakfast, I hold onto the thought the scars and eggshells will eventually just be nothing more than what they are.They will no longer remind me of suffering but of sacrifice. To change, is to sacrifice a part of yourself you no longer can be at harmony with. You were the part of myself I let go. You are a reminder pain exists but should never be laid upon another soul, already lifeless, already bruised, already out of battle. I may not be perfect but my god I have sustained myself through the impossible of times, and deserve a heart not secured by cast iron. I am too tired to peal back the layers of what is to find what was in someone. I am too broken to trust a world of creatures who move calculated rather than spirited. I will adore those who remain true and ignore those who chose a lie.

I Have the Beat

Well, you don’t care..

I guess that’s fair…

I’ll just sit over here

bobbing my head to the rhythm of life…

with my own breasts as the toms

my feet as the bass pedals

my hair looking like the sticks

my heart playing out all it once resists…


I always felt the beat of my own drum

the problem is there is no one

who can complete my rhyme

echo my brain waves

through space and time…


Well, you don’t care

I guess that’s fair

I’ll just stare

at the sun for too long

until my blindness I can see through…

my sunglasses on right

my laces all tight

ready to sprint out all this strife…

I always felt the beat of my own drum

the problem is there is no one

who doesn’t need an explanation for my mind

maybe I should have been born to a new dimension

ahead of this time….



You’re Down Mofo

You’re down mofo

like a yo yo

ready to be brought up again

by someone else’s downfall

you create illusions in minds

then when its time

to fess up

it’s all them

not you

It’s sad you wear armor

but battle your own mind

and in return it create a bind

to no one

You wasted months

but I’d rather not have it be years

of judgment upon my ways

that were engaged by the cold world

left me outside with sleeves too short

outgrown my jacket like I did you

and you may have had the first laugh

but mine will be the last.


He comes in dreams. I think he is an entity of some sort. He holds my head up when I wake up. He kneels beside me as if I am a child and places my arms across each other and upon my shoulders. He tells me hold onto myself tightly and he will in return watch over me. He could be pure evil or pure good for all i know. I trusted him with my life for some time and hope for his own sake when he passes into the afterlife he meant all good deeds towards me. I believe in my mind whether it is true for belief is more powerful than disbelief. Although, disbelief can lead to new understandings depending on circumstances. I believe it is ultimately one’s goal to make a system on beliefs in their own mind to perhaps make sense out of life and death. We all have unusual situations that infiltrate our minds with memories we cannot comprehend in the moment.Their significance is perhaps not understood under later parts in life when forces align to create a sort of epiphany. I believe the person has a spirit like the Egpytians…but it has many parts. One is born with a sort of identity based upon physical and mental elements no person is one of the same. It is unique with boundaries and capabilities of its own it has to embrace in order to achieve a sort of enlightening. My spirit has come to terms with its born spirit enough to realize one depends upon the other. The Ba in Egyptian culture represents the spirit in the afterlife which must return to the Ka in order to sustain immortality. I believe this is symbolic. It is almost as if life is about reconciling with the inner childlike spirit we all possess and realizing the two are important in all aspects of life. They are the path to true righteousness, bravery, respect, admiration, truth, and immortality. Realizing one must maintain a balance between the two and fight against wrongdoing is a huge step in accepting death as part of life. It is easier to accept death if a person understands the many elements which make up their physical and mental state. No person has one identity. No person can be defined by a single word. The spirit is like a rainbow and a person’s duty is to be the brightest colors when the end approaches. Accept good and bad but remain in touch with all the layers of their spirit. And if it takes a belief which cannot be proven with science then so be it…it can be proven with culture.Thank you.

Kiss the Fangs

I feel like a child lost in the world with a ton of beasts, fangs ready to suck the imagination out of me. So much money, time, patience wasted upon the wrong people. There are no boundaries for them. They will say and do whatever you please but when you think about it the motive is unclear? Such a world of leeches. They take a beautiful lake and turn it into a swamp. It must be sad in theirs minds. I must admit I love little and hate more. But is that normal in American society? I feel a decline has began on a personal level as well as political level. People will now lie, cheat, and steal in order to achieve the american dream.. I lie awake at night with thoughts of a world in chaos. All around me is fire, my precious land I worked so hard to sustain now cinders beneath me. Do you see it coming? A change needs to be made. A rise of those tired working hands and praise for those who give their lives to this country; the working class. No praise for those gluttonous creatures who prey upon inequality as a means of financial gain. Thank you.

Spare Me (Hold Me Cover by Weezer)

I am terrified of shellfish

frightened of the park at dark

I was.

you were crazier than I expected…

cut deeper than a fish…

You are.


Spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me like trash cause’ your phony…

I was happier with you past when..

I wasn’t angry…

I was.

You are becoming what you hate in me..

Why don’t you go to therapy?

Spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me without you cause’

you’re crazy…


I am..

I am…


Spare me.

Spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me without you cause’ i’ll be happy

but spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me cause’ I’ll get a taxi.


No Blame Game

I will always love you

like Whitney Houston said

before she died

and lived life instead…

I will always love you until the sky becomes pale

like your face…

And I wish I could have held you…

but I just remember I did…

and it only worked for so long..

so I blame no one…

you nor I

I blame my tears on a past full of goodbyes

I wish you could have felt my insides…

could have swallowed up your own lack of pride

Could see the same suffering in infinite…

with each breath…

and I would take my last one with you

but your eyes grew cold

and no one could save you

for you gave up on love…

went to despair…

but I wish you were my love waiting on the end of pier

as if my reward for suffering stood over the purity of water

A king with no shiny armor…

for his heart has it own.


I Honestly Hate You (I Honestly Love You Cover)

I hate you

I honestly blame you

You don’t have an answer

I can’t see it anymore in your eyes

Maybe it was better off left for dead

this is plain and simple

And you shouldn’t rationalize

it’s coming from head and not my heart….

I hate you…

I honestly blame you…

I am attempting to make you feel uncomfortable

I am trying to make you see what you’ve become

but this feeling comes along everyday

you bombed the getaway car and can’t run

I hate you…

I honestly blame you…

If we were both on an island

in another time and a cage

this moment might end in a fist

and there you’d be with your knife

And here I am with a gun

So I guess we’ll assume who won…

I hate you

I honestly hate you

I honestly hate you..


Everyday I see people lose something in technology. The human like qualities have gone out the window and that does not make me old school but rather in touch with the past and the future as well. Things have become who we are rather than what we have. Things mean nothing though when someone loses them self in the process of trying to gain. No one can truly achieve everything they desire in one life. To do so your quality of life would diminish and the goal would become counterproductive. The ideal state would be to set one goal and more onto the next without interference from the changing world full of technology. I think there is something honorable in letting go of what is unnecessary.  It is in essence freeing yourself from the binds of what most perceive as evolution but what  I see as devaluing. Soon there will be no need for humans since robots can do better calibrations with minimal errors. Walmart won’t need cashiers. Starbucks won’t need someone to hold the cup for foam on a latte. I guess I think people are too involved with technology in a wrong way. To create a widening gap between the rich and poor with technology is not ok. To create a windmill to supply a town with power is. It is all up to those in power to decide how to apply technology to society but it is also up to us to not give in and buy things which do not support humanity as a whole. If something creates a negative impact it should not be supported. Our children are becoming less intelligent with convenience. They don’t know how to write cursive, complete sentences, and poetry. However, they can tell you how to change your facebook picture by the age of ten. Who cares? What is important is arming our nation not with guns but with beautiful minds. Minds that use their greatest talents to their advantage. Minds that are not told to go to college, follow the typical path, and get a job but rather minds that need no college and are created out of a self-image no one can shatter. An image so well drawn in the mind it does not need reassurance from another, it just needs itself.  Support your children but never lead them to the water. Let them find the lake themselves. Let them wander, feel lost, then redeem themselves. The happiest people are forged from the worst sometimes. The unhappy people are mostly faking their happiness. Be true to your children, your family, your friends, and most importantly yourself. There is no construct but what walls are created in the mind. Social norms can try but cannot succeed in defining someone who does not want to be defined. And some of the most influential people have freed themselves from judgments and past mistakes. They do not live in the past but rather lay the past in the back of their minds to avoid repetition. Our children, our students, our people are becoming repetitive. If everyone has the same degree, then everyone is without a job and it means nothing. It is not your paper but your mind that sets you apart. Think of what makes you happy, and share it with others.

Step outside America, breath the air, put down the Ipad and realize everything was here we needed from the beginning. Our desires can be shackles to ourselves and other people. Too much is simply too much and gives another person not enough. And unlike a lot of people I would like to sleep at night knowing I am not at fault for the widening gap between the rich and poor. And for those who are I hope someday you realize and give back to the community not because of guilt but because you wanted to. It is time to reinvent America as not the land of the free, but rather the land of the trying to be free. We must face the issues we have created for generations to come, derived from an unhealthy system which rewards the heartless and condemns the strong. We can no longer deny our nikes are no longer white but black with how much treading the majority in this country has done to succeed. We all have a bad story but together we can make the future promising. Thank you for my readers.

Laura Elisa