Beliefs

He comes in dreams. I think he is an entity of some sort. He holds my head up when I wake up. He kneels beside me as if I am a child and places my arms across each other and upon my shoulders. He tells me hold onto myself tightly and he will in return watch over me. He could be pure evil or pure good for all i know. I trusted him with my life for some time and hope for his own sake when he passes into the afterlife he meant all good deeds towards me. I believe in my mind whether it is true for belief is more powerful than disbelief. Although, disbelief can lead to new understandings depending on circumstances. I believe it is ultimately one’s goal to make a system on beliefs in their own mind to perhaps make sense out of life and death. We all have unusual situations that infiltrate our minds with memories we cannot comprehend in the moment.Their significance is perhaps not understood under later parts in life when forces align to create a sort of epiphany. I believe the person has a spirit like the Egpytians…but it has many parts. One is born with a sort of identity based upon physical and mental elements no person is one of the same. It is unique with boundaries and capabilities of its own it has to embrace in order to achieve a sort of enlightening. My spirit has come to terms with its born spirit enough to realize one depends upon the other. The Ba in Egyptian culture represents the spirit in the afterlife which must return to the Ka in order to sustain immortality. I believe this is symbolic. It is almost as if life is about reconciling with the inner childlike spirit we all possess and realizing the two are important in all aspects of life. They are the path to true righteousness, bravery, respect, admiration, truth, and immortality. Realizing one must maintain a balance between the two and fight against wrongdoing is a huge step in accepting death as part of life. It is easier to accept death if a person understands the many elements which make up their physical and mental state. No person has one identity. No person can be defined by a single word. The spirit is like a rainbow and a person’s duty is to be the brightest colors when the end approaches. Accept good and bad but remain in touch with all the layers of their spirit. And if it takes a belief which cannot be proven with science then so be it…it can be proven with culture.Thank you.

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No Blame Game

I will always love you

like Whitney Houston said

before she died

and lived life instead…

I will always love you until the sky becomes pale

like your face…

And I wish I could have held you…

but I just remember I did…

and it only worked for so long..

so I blame no one…

you nor I

I blame my tears on a past full of goodbyes

I wish you could have felt my insides…

could have swallowed up your own lack of pride

Could see the same suffering in infinite…

with each breath…

and I would take my last one with you

but your eyes grew cold

and no one could save you

for you gave up on love…

went to despair…

but I wish you were my love waiting on the end of pier

as if my reward for suffering stood over the purity of water

A king with no shiny armor…

for his heart has it own.

 

I Honestly Hate You (I Honestly Love You Cover)

I hate you

I honestly blame you

You don’t have an answer

I can’t see it anymore in your eyes

Maybe it was better off left for dead

this is plain and simple

And you shouldn’t rationalize

it’s coming from head and not my heart….

I hate you…

I honestly blame you…

I am attempting to make you feel uncomfortable

I am trying to make you see what you’ve become

but this feeling comes along everyday

you bombed the getaway car and can’t run

I hate you…

I honestly blame you…

If we were both on an island

in another time and a cage

this moment might end in a fist

and there you’d be with your knife

And here I am with a gun

So I guess we’ll assume who won…

I hate you

I honestly hate you

I honestly hate you..

Everyday

Everyday I see people lose something in technology. The human like qualities have gone out the window and that does not make me old school but rather in touch with the past and the future as well. Things have become who we are rather than what we have. Things mean nothing though when someone loses them self in the process of trying to gain. No one can truly achieve everything they desire in one life. To do so your quality of life would diminish and the goal would become counterproductive. The ideal state would be to set one goal and more onto the next without interference from the changing world full of technology. I think there is something honorable in letting go of what is unnecessary.  It is in essence freeing yourself from the binds of what most perceive as evolution but what  I see as devaluing. Soon there will be no need for humans since robots can do better calibrations with minimal errors. Walmart won’t need cashiers. Starbucks won’t need someone to hold the cup for foam on a latte. I guess I think people are too involved with technology in a wrong way. To create a widening gap between the rich and poor with technology is not ok. To create a windmill to supply a town with power is. It is all up to those in power to decide how to apply technology to society but it is also up to us to not give in and buy things which do not support humanity as a whole. If something creates a negative impact it should not be supported. Our children are becoming less intelligent with convenience. They don’t know how to write cursive, complete sentences, and poetry. However, they can tell you how to change your facebook picture by the age of ten. Who cares? What is important is arming our nation not with guns but with beautiful minds. Minds that use their greatest talents to their advantage. Minds that are not told to go to college, follow the typical path, and get a job but rather minds that need no college and are created out of a self-image no one can shatter. An image so well drawn in the mind it does not need reassurance from another, it just needs itself.  Support your children but never lead them to the water. Let them find the lake themselves. Let them wander, feel lost, then redeem themselves. The happiest people are forged from the worst sometimes. The unhappy people are mostly faking their happiness. Be true to your children, your family, your friends, and most importantly yourself. There is no construct but what walls are created in the mind. Social norms can try but cannot succeed in defining someone who does not want to be defined. And some of the most influential people have freed themselves from judgments and past mistakes. They do not live in the past but rather lay the past in the back of their minds to avoid repetition. Our children, our students, our people are becoming repetitive. If everyone has the same degree, then everyone is without a job and it means nothing. It is not your paper but your mind that sets you apart. Think of what makes you happy, and share it with others.

Step outside America, breath the air, put down the Ipad and realize everything was here we needed from the beginning. Our desires can be shackles to ourselves and other people. Too much is simply too much and gives another person not enough. And unlike a lot of people I would like to sleep at night knowing I am not at fault for the widening gap between the rich and poor. And for those who are I hope someday you realize and give back to the community not because of guilt but because you wanted to. It is time to reinvent America as not the land of the free, but rather the land of the trying to be free. We must face the issues we have created for generations to come, derived from an unhealthy system which rewards the heartless and condemns the strong. We can no longer deny our nikes are no longer white but black with how much treading the majority in this country has done to succeed. We all have a bad story but together we can make the future promising. Thank you for my readers.

Laura Elisa

99 Facebook Friends but they Ain’t Real Ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

I got the spat patrol like a cat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my mouths closed

Critics say she’s “Money cats clothes”

I’m from the country stupid where facts are disclosed

If you grew up with no laces in your zapatos

You’d party the minute you had some cash flow

I’m like fuck haters you can kiss my whole lips

If you don’t like my lyrics you can laugh and kiss this

Got beef with many If I don’t play the game

but they don’t play my level, one in the same

Some haters try and use my nice ass

So I can be their sugar mama over cash…fuckers

I don’t know why you are taking me here

you can’t afford one beer

I’m from bad to better playa I ain’t dumb

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones….

Just hit me…

and get it over with.

99 facebook friend but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

get it over with.


The year is 2014 and my truck is full

in my rear view mirror is a benz

I got two choices yall keep driving or

slow down the car some more

Now I ain’t trying to stick no gun out the door

but I got a few bullets galore

So I pull over cuz’ he’s on the side of the road

And I heard…”Girl, you better stay on the other side of the door!”

Cause’ this guys young and he’s ready to blow

and I think I know body language, maybe I don’t know

Am I ready to go or should I stay some mo’?

Well I was doing fifty five and the sucker was going 94

Thought it was a cop on the back road

until I saw him riding my bumper to my dashboard

I ain’t steppin out to see me on my deathbed

Ain’t kickin’ it when it’s down either

just lettin’ it inside my head

Enjoy a few last moments of heat

before I go to bed

cuz’ I’d rather call him a policy

cuz when humans hit me….

then I get the insurance money….

99 facebook friend but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

get it over with.

Now once upon a time very long ago

A chica like me had a strong arm and a hoe

not a hoe in the sense of whore

but a hoe digging up land in order to grow

I tried to stay there and continue to mow

Pray for sunlight, but some fools just love the rain

You know the type where your socks are stained

but you won’t change your socks cause you don’t fret

the only thing that’s gonna happen, my feet get more wet 

While I keep trappin’ the crayfish cause their like gold

And there I go back to the creek, don’t fold

cuz it’s back through the forest with cliffs galore

While my fake friends stay at home pop some corn

watch their tv sets, then later switch to porn

Cuz’ Paparazzi’s got the camera on all the pretty faces

until the D.A. Comes in tells em their wasted cases

half-a-mil for nothing but a body that’s fit 

All because some fool wanted his man candle lit

And she’s trying to play the man like he cares

but there ain’t nothing sweet about his nightmares

and just like him…

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones…

if you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son…

just hit me…

and get it over with.

Scurry With Your Nuts

I’m gonna pin those pants to your crack

so they can’t hang expose what you lack

cuz’ you make everyone nervous

hold their purse

since you look like

you should be in a Hurst

you move so fast

but your brain is slow

it dreams but has nowhere to go

the clouds are barriers in your mind

not a pillow you can use to climb

up to the sun

and you took all the fun

out of party before you arrived

then blamed everyone else left inside

walkin’ down the street drunk trying to have a conversation

but even your friend doesn’t talk to avoid escalation

you sound like a spoiled punk

who didn’t get his daddy to pay him

for doing

nothing…

Sometimes you look in the mirror

your buttons up but really their down

your smile is there but really its a frown

shirt is clean but your hair looks like a clown

you got your mirrors dirty

so clean that shit and hurry

cuz’ she won’t wait

she’ll scurry

like a squirrel

with your nuts

I’m gonna take that beer chip back

cuz’ you don’t need another one

you got yours all intact

but your life reenacts

every step to the bar as if it is your past

the morning ruined when you realize you wasted cash

living in the left lane you’re going too fast

can’t slow down until you pass

that guy with everything you lack

but you always take step back

cuz the shoe is on your foot fool

don’t act like others don’t play you cool

maybe they know the jokes on you

maybe they feel some sympathy too

but kindness isn’t weakness

unless you see through the eyes of the unkind

so push play and not rewind….

Sometimes you look in the mirror

your buttons up but really their down

your smile is there but really its a frown

shirt is clean but your hair looks like a clown

you got your mirrors dirty

so clean that shit and hurry

cuz’ she won’t wait

she’ll scurry

like a squirrel

with your nuts

Why Do People Try So Hard?

         I think it is sad most people go through life experiencing a lot but a little at the same time. They think the quantity of experience is more relevant than the caliber.  I have learned hanging around the same people becomes kind of redundant unless you have an unusual connection. To hang out just to hang out is like going to the mall just to walk around. You don’t get the whole experience of life if you spend it with people who create cycles rather than doors.  Ultimately you end up closing doors on people who actually could matter because you spend free time on maintaining the same routine. Break it and buy that new routine people. If you aren’t happy, change something, anything. Find someone new to hang around, at least you tried something different. 

And when I say to people you need to meet new people they assume “going out” will do this. This is the lamest idea in society. A socially accepted way of meeting but completely unrealistic of having anything pure and real crafted out of an environment with music blasting, beer, and lack of conversation. Have you ever sat alone at a bar on purpose? I have. I sat there for a long time like an old person looking for any signs of life around me and boy did it get boring after a while. And quite depressing. You observe everything since you are not part of it. You become a reader rather than an actor. To see through people is to see truth everywhere you go. When you experience so much socially to the point where people cannot confuse or pull a fast one on you, you see common behaviors in people. They become characters in the fake story they tell you. Their eyes become like daggers and you just want the down to earth person to walk in who has the real story. A person who could talk all night because they have so much to say. Who wants the person who can do one liners and thinks of silence as humble but really it is just stupidity? Why do people feel the need to fit into social norms? Notice how people who go out all the time go out all the time in search of something. Do they really get what they want at the end of the night? Or is the next thought process what are we doing tomorrow night? Usually the second one. And in rare instances I am wrong…I have been proven wrong but if I took the ratio down you can guess what it would prove. Humans are naturally drawn into drama. It is far more difficult to avoid drama. So we must embrace it even if it sucks and learn some things can be made worse. It is up to us to make it better and not to avoid it. So next time you find yourself in a Deja Vu situation laugh at it and get your popcorn cause you know how it will end.