Blindfolded Hypocrisy

Trauma fueled fire

Finding my own desire

Can feel my heart beat

Like a million fires

Can’t quit

This attempt to fit

All the molds

They wanted me to be

All the perceptions they wanted me to see

Distorted my mind into a fantasy

Smiling right at me

So all I have left is a story

 

Oh, blindfolded hypocrisy

Just can’t let me be

Oh, blindfolded hypocrisy

Trying to capture me

But everytime I crawl away

With a piece of your reality

 

Trauma filed day

Avoiding the triggers that may

Haunt my dreams it seems

To the end of May

Sweating through my clothes

Hurting all my bones

Trying to walk before I can crawl

So sick of it all

Trauma filled day

Yelling at my feet

They never were complete

Like two mutant creeps

Unable to fall asleep

Hands on a controller

My virtual consoler

The outside world feels like a boulder

Waiting to crush me

And some days all I can see

Is them laughing over me

But when I stand

I won’t let this be

I won’t let this be.

 

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You Won’t Meet the Past Again

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I hope you are happy now

I hope you can make it alone

Every woman that tried to love you

Is out in the rain, drenched to the bone

I hope the road is paved for you

Rather than as rocky as mine

I hope you find the perfect woman

Just don’t wrap her in twine

But I have a funny feeling

You won’t meet the past again

She was too sweet to go on

Playing your pretend

Cuz’ she wanted reality,

instead of the fallacy

created inside your head

To avoid seeing the hell she’d see

As she cried in bed

Feeling used and abused

As the next option, you fed

All the lies about her to

Giving others the lead

But I hope you remember how much you hated yourself

before anyone else

Even tried to love you

I hope you remember someday

When her face finally turns blue

How much she tried to give to you…

When she had nothing

Nothing at all

As you helped orchestrate her undeserved fall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Don’t Remember

I don’t remember what you said to me?

But

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

I tried to put my pride aside but

every single time you tried

to lie

Manipulate and hide

All the blame inside my heart…

And now I sit here torn apart

Feeling like I didn’t have a chance

from the very start…

What was that baby?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was I going to be better (than her) ?

Or was I better off without you?

I feel like a jigsaw puzzle

And I can’t find all the pieces

No I can’t find all the pieces

Oh, why’d you make me your queen

if you were just planning on leaving?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was I ever going to be better than her…

to you?

 

 

Should Have Been Athena

I don’t even know what’s reality anymore

Say something to me

I dare you

Because I’m down on the floor

I dropped my shield

and like Apollo you rose

you played your guitar

but little did I know

your splendor was a facade

your heart was so cold

marked by the God Ares

And ready to charge like a boar

Your spear in your hand…

looking up at Mars, craving more…

 

I came to you like Aphrodite

When I should have been Athena

I came to you as the goddess of love

When I should have prepared for the arena…

 

I don’t even know what’s reality anymore

Say something to me

I dare you

Because I’m already on the floor

But I grab my spear

because you always seem ready for more

I battle you day and night

to settle the score

Then I rise like Athena

Fully armored with a crested helm

Striking you down

Becoming fully in charge of my realm

And even when you fell on your knees

I still showed you the greatest of empathy…

even after you broke me down

stole what was left of me….

 

I came to you like Aphrodite

When I should have been Athena

I came to you as the goddess of love

When I should have prepared for the arena…

I am Who I am

I am who I am

don’t question my sanity

when you can’t be a man

step up to the plate

instead of calling this fate

can’t pay for your own haircut

but have money for a mutt

throw dollars on counters

but make me drive after for hours

then pay for the gas…

I got angry super fast

tightened my laces last

ready to run away

when you tried to decay

my esteem to a pile of frost

so cold, and told

what to do

how to stand

when to raise my hand

follow your command

like you were a man

but inside just a teenager

with a small wanker

like a cheesy tv anchor

filling in for the sucker who’s sick

but really he’ll quit before the shows done

cuz’ he ain’t no fun

no love

no trust

so he must

sit alone

convinced in his own lies

trying to put back his insides

he destroyed by too much time

spent on misplaced pride…

 

 

 

You Were Nothing Like Me

You were nothing like me

like God created women and man

you created me out of the epitome

of your own sorrow

so you could borrow

my soul

only to leave it blackened

but still burning like a pile of cinders

beneath your feet

you will drop down to your knees

as the sparks fly into the sky

and away from the lie

you created out of yourself…

There is no way to extinguish

my pain

the memories will become clearer

as I gain

a kind of sanity

you blocked from my reality

the time lost

will become well spent

cuz’ never will I repent my sins

to a man who avoids his….

never will I give my soul

to a man who cannot give his…

never will I bind myself up

and not call it was it is…

a game of betrayal…

with a unsincere kiss.

The Things You Said

If you said those things to me

and they were true

I might as well make a noose

and hang myself until blue…

but their not true…

they no longer turn me blue

and I cannot sit here

and watch all the rainbow of colors

turn into a select few…

and before you came along

I sang to  a song

inside my head

but there you had to go

pumping your lead

riding your horse

then taking off the saddle

when you offered me a ride…

only to make me hide

in the nap of the mane

cuz’ no one can tame

my spirit…

so take the lasso

the haircut I bought for you

the gas I blew threw

the money i spent on you

and burn it

cuz it never existed

I’ll never miss it

I’ll never wonder if I made you kiss

the bruises left behind

if in time you’d see how blind

your mind was wrapped in twine

never to be mine.