Broken Nerves Girl

Fighting this beast

It’s taken everything out of me

Crawling on my knees

Nervous system misfiring

Can’t complete

Some sentences without struggling

They always mock me

Like it’s stupidity

How much will it take to make me angry?!

Gaslight me about this disease

When they can’t understand the complexity

Ableist degrees

What a pathetic way to be

_______

Broken nerves girl

Trying to fight the world

Trying to be the pearl

That was a sight to see

Gave up their vision

Of what should be reality

Why is it so hard to accept the broken me?!

____

Fighting this fire

It’s taken years from me

Crying myself to sleep

Nervous system manufacturing

Bones crushed, skin weeps

Can’t imagine the intensity

Takes thoughts away

Until the imagination can’t see

Ableist comes to play

Tries to bury me

Sick of fighting the fight

Just let me be

I don’t walk around

Gaslighting people with disabilities

Just let us all be

Let us breathe.

Wishing Well

 

Standing around the wishing well
Wishing well…
Hoping that no one can tell
I have been here for a while
With a sad smile
Climbing all the paths alone
And I don’t remember when was the last time
I sang myself a lullaby
and it made me fall asleep
All I do is weep
for all the sad souls in the world…
misunderstood like me.

So I’m just standing around the wishing well
Hoping that no one can tell
I have been here for a while
So I can remember the smell of the pines
All the good times I created and left behind
at the wishing well….

And so it feels I tread all this internally alone…
Frozen feet to the bone…
Like a martyr, always standing alone…
Like a soldier, broken down and left alone…

So I’ll be at the wishing well…
Hoping someday someone can tell
I have been here for a while…
So I can remember how it feels to be alive…
So I can dream
Then toss a coin
So I can bleed
Then toss a coin
So I can seek….
And be my own.

Should Have Been Athena

I don’t even know what’s reality anymore

Say something to me

I dare you

Because I’m down on the floor

I dropped my shield

and like Apollo you rose

you played your guitar

but little did I know

your splendor was a facade

your heart was so cold

marked by the God Ares

And ready to charge like a boar

Your spear in your hand…

looking up at Mars, craving more…

 

I came to you like Aphrodite

When I should have been Athena

I came to you as the goddess of love

When I should have prepared for the arena…

 

I don’t even know what’s reality anymore

Say something to me

I dare you

Because I’m already on the floor

But I grab my spear

because you always seem ready for more

I battle you day and night

to settle the score

Then I rise like Athena

Fully armored with a crested helm

Striking you down

Becoming fully in charge of my realm

And even when you fell on your knees

I still showed you the greatest of empathy…

even after you broke me down

stole what was left of me….

 

I came to you like Aphrodite

When I should have been Athena

I came to you as the goddess of love

When I should have prepared for the arena…

A Lost Generation

A lost generation

full of misplaced rage

thinking their on the right side

but often disengaged

stuck in a maze

with no ending in sight

trying to cut through the walls

throughout the night

And their cries can be heard

from all those on the outside

that represent the forgotten

who desired a change in tide…

the ones time forgot

with the opinions they hide

humble is their word

unlike misplaced pride…

they speak in truth

and sometimes their words

are not so smooth…

but are reality infused…

I wish I could help you put your fears aside

but mine ate at me until I had to swallow my pride

And I know what battle you must find

it’s inside of your own mind….

A lost generation

A proclamation to the entity they should detest

thinking their own the ride side

but they stand with the ideas they say they cannot digest

and the irony is so obvious to the rational mind

their delusions create fear and unrest…

And their cries can be heard

from all those on the outside

echoing the emotions they once knew

when they felt pushed aside…

but in that isolation grew strength

That could break a thousand lies…

in that grew struggle

which could not be swept aside…