songwriting

Cold

/ AbsurdinLife / Leave a comment

I don’t know why you are so cold

My bones break

With every step I take

But I still keep a smile upon my face

While you have everything

Yet still trying to take

My fate

Poisoned tongue, speaking hate

Judging me while you wouldn’t last a day

In my shoes

Ohhhh oh x2

I don’t know why there’s no sparkle in your eyes

My light barely stays alive

Amidst your false pride

But at least I have no ego

Stare in the mirror, appearing see-through

You could have everything

Yet still try to take others fate

Probably even pawn heaven’s gate

Having a heart when it’s too late

Wish I could disappear in the clouds

So I’d forget your face

Ohhh, ohhh x2

Broken Nerves Girl

/ AbsurdinLife / Leave a comment

Fighting this beast

It’s taken everything out of me

Crawling on my knees

Nervous system misfiring

Can’t complete

Some sentences without struggling

They always mock me

Like it’s stupidity

How much will it take to make me angry?!

Gaslight me about this disease

When they can’t understand the complexity

Ableist degrees

What a pathetic way to be

_______

Broken nerves girl

Trying to fight the world

Trying to be the pearl

That was a sight to see

Gave up their vision

Of what should be reality

Why is it so hard to accept the broken me?!

____

Fighting this fire

It’s taken years from me

Crying myself to sleep

Nervous system manufacturing

Bones crushed, skin weeps

Can’t imagine the intensity

Takes thoughts away

Until the imagination can’t see

Ableist comes to play

Tries to bury me

Sick of fighting the fight

Just let me be

I don’t walk around

Gaslighting people with disabilities

Just let us all be

Let us breathe.

I Don’t Remember

/ AbsurdinLife / Leave a comment

I don’t remember what you said to me?

But

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

I tried to put my pride aside but

every single time you tried

to lie

Manipulate and hide

All the blame inside my heart…

And now I sit here torn apart

Feeling like I didn’t have a chance

from the very start…

What was that baby?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was I going to be better (than her) ?

Or was I better off without you?

I feel like a jigsaw puzzle

And I can’t find all the pieces

No I can’t find all the pieces

Oh, why’d you make me your queen

if you were just planning on leaving?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was I ever going to be better than her…

to you?