Now She’s Gone

         Poof! Now she’s gone! Like the song by Felt no one ever knows she references. At least she can admit an ex introduced her to the band, rather than act as if she found it herself. Desiring to look cool to possible dating prospects. Ha ha. Go right ahead, add that one to your playlist as well. Like the other songs she tried to listen to, that you didn’t let her, and post to your facecrap so the next woman can think you can terrific taste in music. More like her taste in music. Rainbow kitten surprise, Kasey Musgraves, Theo Katzman, Chet Faker. The list could go on. I am sure she will eventually see a mutual friend of yours on facecrap post pictures at one of these artists concerts with you. Just know she won’t be jealous. It doesn’t work. She will always find music, venues, and people to hang out with. Go see the bands that are no longer at their prime like the Counting Crows, or ones you had already seen a decade ago but cannot remember for reasons I will not say. You don’t even have the motivation to find your own taste in music. That speaks volumes.

       So go ahead you can try to replace the now ex Fiancée with one of the many women you kept chatting on the side, while acting like you were ready to settle down. Any woman would have seen it as a red flag. And let me make this clear, go ahead with your smear campaign; but she is not a pedophile accuser. The replacement though is nineteen years old and you are in your late thirties. People will judge but you two are perfect for each other. She lies about having a boyfriend, has no self respect, attention seeks and is immature. By the way, so cool to act as if you were always platonic friends, when the reality was far from it. So cool to invite ex dating prospects to events. And “just chatting” with them late hours of the evening while knowing you would be upset if your now ex Fiancée started doing the same.

        Oh, dare I mention the infamous line? “Oh, I would beat a guy if he pet you.” Meanwhile, letting your now ex Fiancée watch your double standards, deep rooted in misogynistic, alpha male stereotypes. You think she was dumb, huh? Not dumb, but maybe dumb for loving you so much she put up with things no normal woman would have. The truth is: she loved you since she was nineteen years old and first laid eyes on you. She saw potential. But as ten years past, you decided to just give up on yourself. Decided to not contribute to society or do anything to better yourself. Instead, it seems you gave up while expecting some kind of miracle to save you from yourself?

         Was she supposed to be that miracle? After you told her she expected people to take care of her, while she went through extensive surgeries? Did you think it did not hurt when you assumed she was a “golddigger.” She worked full time during college, after college, and up until she had to do surgery. Basically since she was sixteen years old. God forbid unseen health circumstances arose that she had to address. So kind of you to judge rather than listen. So kind of you to literally regurgitate her previous abusive exes insults and continue to imbed it into her head? Didn’t think of the fact, you might be reopening wounds rather than leaving the scars she healed alone. And let’s not even get into the fact your own resume hasn’t looked great in ten years, but you were perfectly abled bodied. Throw your stones while living in a glass house, right?

        And one must ask: how many other women were supposed to be a life changing miracle for you? How many ended up hurt? Why do you think it is fair to expect so much emotional support while treating women as disposable once the honeymoon phase wears off? You think telling everyone your exes did to you what you really did to them  isn’t going to be figured out? You think you have people fooled but really the joke is on you. And it is not a funny joke to actually live the way you do. It is sad.

       All us past women once had faith you would tell the truth when asked, but after repeated lie after lie; the trust was gone. You expect to build a solid foundation off of no truth. She had to see with her own eyes your lies to wake up. And when she saw undeniable evidemce: you lied again. Gaslit her like the nineteen forties movie. What was next? A flickering of the lights, then telling her she was seeing things? No one deserves to live that way. No one. Not so you can maintain your façade. She wanted to live in truth, not lies.

      But what really sticks out and probably always will is the way you purposed. The casual handing over of the ring in the car, then the infamous line: “nw you can rub it in my best female friend’s face.” She wishes she could replace it with anything else. As a child, she envisioned a man at least getting on one knee and muttering four words. Such an expectation, right? She knew she was right in feeling like a pawn in a game riddled with jealously inducing antics, based upon your own insecurities. It was as if she wasn’t even a human to you. It was as if you failed to see how embarrassing it would be to explain to other people how you purposed. But looking back, she now sees it as a blessing. She now sees she was lucky to have not married someone who couldn’t even get on one knee like a gentlemen and say four words. Someday, when she finally finds a man who kisses her forehead at night, never wants to see her shed a tear, and actually wants a real commitment, you will probably think: I wish I never let her go. But she won’t try to remember you by then. She will create memories she deserves to have with someone who deserves her.

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Miss Magic Part XII

“Stephen’s apartment is on Broad Street. I can check the mailboxes find his apartment number. You just keep a look out for anyone.”

“Will do. Better you than me, I am a clutz. I’d probably get caught.” Olivia admits.

Stephen’s apartment sat on a corner, of course it wasn’t the greatest complex. Neither was the neighborhood. Kid’s toys almost lying in the street from parents who didn’t pick them up. Perhaps, let alone supervise their children.

The mailboxes were mostly broken so it was easy to find his. Nothing looked like it was maintained for over a decade. Both doors almost fell off the frame when Jackie went in.

“It’s not very nice in there Olivia. He shouldn’t even pay rent until it’s fixed up really, really that bad.”

“Geez maybe we should have left a tenant’s rights booklet.”

“I think the money will be helpful for now. We could help him again, you know?” Jackie suggests.

“Indeed. He’ll definitely need more help in the future.”

“We have to find another casino and do it right this time. Go in with a plan, know the layout, scout it out beforehand, and really watch our own butts! We may not get lucky again if we’re caught.”

“Exactly. I was thinking about the same thing. I feel guilty in a way, but we are helping other people who need it and taking from a greedy casino. So is what we’re doing still morally wrong?”

“Don’t think of such things so much Olivia. It will tear up your insides like they’re being put through a meat grinder. Let’s just focus on doing good in our own community, then move onto bigger things. Hopefully no one will question us, until we have done so much, we’ll be like some kind of vigilantes in a good way.” Jackie says with childlike enthusiasm.

“I agree. It’s not like I can just sit there and do nothing, knowing what I can do now either.”

“Let’s figure out a game plan tonight, don’t rush it too much where it is stupid though. Let’s hope we can devise a good plan by the end of tonight with some more Ben and Jerry’s, Netflix running in the background, and the occasional off topic conversation I bring up. Haha!” Jackie exclaimed.

“I can get along with that idea!”

“So who do we help next? I kind of picked Stephen. You should decide the next person. We can at least discuss that before we get to the store.”

“What about Urma? I mean she’s behind in her taxes, what if we just go pay them for her? Is there a way? What if I said I was a relative from out of state, just trying to take care of my families finances that went haywire? Believable, right?”

“I mean you look quite young for trying to clean up your families mess, but we can think up your occupation, and I am sure they won’t even get that far to ask that question. Geez Olivia, you worry too much sometimes. It is best to be prepared for the worst, but at the same time you can’t always combat bad things from happening. Bad things do happen to good planners. You ever plan a trip out precisely and every little detail you planned seems to go the opposite way as planned. Your coffee lid falls off, your car breaks down, your tire pops, the parking is full, the event was cancelled, and your friend never showed up, right? Do you fret or not? Or do you think well this is just crap and try to make the most out of the crap? Jackie asks in a joking, but at the same time serious matter. The thing that make her different from the others.

“I am guessing I have to say make the most out of crap, because what choice is there really? Wallow in it? Haha. No thanks!” Olivia admits.

“Anyways, we were originally talking about Urma. We should probably get back onto that subject. We’ll just say you are a pharmacist if they ask, if that makes you feel better having an in depth plan. I’ll find out where we need to pay her taxes beforehand, make some phone calls. But know this; I get it Olivia. You are the one with the powers, so if anyone gets caught it will most definitely be you. I don’t blame you for at times, breaking mentally down in a way and being human. I truthfully would be ecstatic to have my powers as well as scared.”

They talk on and off topic all night. Finding all the casinos statewide, the best to devise and plan for and the least. It was ambitious. It was not going to take just one night of planning either, which they both realized. There had to be trust built as well between them. The kind where one would take a bullet for the other without hesitation. They were serious at times and joked to ease the stress of planning. They were the perfect team: honest, loyal, and strong for each other when they needed it. A friendship one could hope for their whole life and never have the chance to obtain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Magic IX

“I truthfully don’t want to offend anyone, but I don’t believe in angels  Olivia. I think that man was just a  second chance giving kind of person. A rarity in this world. Few can forgive, let alone give someone an opportunity out of it. ”

“True. I guess I didn’t think of it that way. I think of things in a symbolic way. I suppose I could have said he was like an angel.” Olivia explains.

“True. He was like an angel to us. He could have called the police. Who knows what could have happened?! They could have taken you away. Poke you with a bunch of needles. You do realize Olivia, what you have is desirable by those with power or money? You do realize what your ability could do in the wrong hands? Especially now?” Jackie asks with concern.

“I never thought of it that way until now truthfully. It was fun Jackie but I do realize it’s going to come with some not so fun parts. Like dealing with power tripping people.” Olivia admits.

“We have to look out for trouble. Me even knowing about this puts me in danger really.”

“Sorry I involved you in this. I had no one…” 0livia pleads.

“Stop! I’m happy you came to me. Although it comes with risk, you and I actually have a chance to make a difference now. We have a yet to be created purpose. Before this, I was just going through the motions in life. Olivia, this is pretty freaking awesome! Think about it! You’re like some kind of superhero.” Jackie says with the upmost enthusiasm, while raising her arms halfway to her sides like she always does when childlike excited about something.

“Thanks for being the coolest friend I’ve ever had.”

“No problem. You see I think we both can adapt to this situation quite well.” Jackie admits.

“Agreed. I can’t have my own back either all the time.”

“I think we need a night to recover. No more gambling for awhile, haha. Perhaps we should just sit around tonight and find out what you can do.” Jackie chuckles.

“Agreed. I’m exhausted. This whole night has been overwhelming.”

They drive back to Jackie’s apartment, grab some Ben n Jerry’s, a movie, and a new deck of cards. They contemplate possible future moral dilemmas and discuss ways to help others. The specific people they plan to help and the forgotten. They make plans to conquer the pain they see in the eyes of others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Magic Part VIII

Olivia lets the security guards check her purse. Of course, they find the cards she had forgotten about. Her eyes widened with horror.

“It’s not what it looks like!” She exclaims.

“Sure. It seems to me it is exactly how I appears. Both you girls come out back in our questioning room immediately.”

Olivia looks towards Jackie. “I am sorry. I had forgotten…”

“Just be quiet Olivia. We knew this might happen.” She replied.

They bring the girls to a room with white walls, sort of like something the FBI would bring you to. Jackie starts getting more nervous, which is making Olivia more nervous.

“Can I just explain something to you really quick?”

“Go ahead.” The security officer says.

“This is going to sound a bit crazy, but I think I am a bit different.” Olivia tries to explain.

“Listen, kid, I do not have time for games. Tell the truth or there will be issues.”

“I think I have special abilities, sir. I can change those cards. I was practicing with those ones in my purse in the bathroom. Ask Jackie.”

“Listen, I don’t want to be locked up in a looney bin with her, but yes…I have seen her do this. It’s unbelievable.”

“If you’re so special then do it for me right now. I have college kids play games with my head all the time about this stuff. So sick of it you two. You have no idea.” He says, sounding somewhat exhausted.

He gives her a card, in which she shows it to him again, just so he knows what it is.

“I see it.”

She does her magic, thinks of a rhymed chant, and hopes it actually worked. If it doesn’t, they both end up looking crazy and possibly sent to some kind of crisis center then jail. Sweat collects on the tips of her fingertips, her eyes are tearing up, but somehow she keeps a somewhat firm expression of confidence. She turns it over.

“What the!!!”

He steps back.

“Listen kid, if you’re some kind of experiment gone wrong I don’t want anything to do with this. I don’t think I am crazy but hold on. This room is under survelliance. Maybe I didn’t get enough sleep.”

Jackie chuckles slightly. “Go ahead. We can wait.”

Olivia looks even more scared though.

“What if they send some people to stab me with needles and stuff Jackie? This is no joke. I just found this out and we already exposed me. Geez, what the heck…” Olivia says.

“Just chill out. You can tell them you won’t sign anything to be their experimental monkey. For now, let’s just see what is going to happen. Do you know anyone else on this planet in this situation right now?” Jackie explains.

“True. We shouldn’t be talking either. They are definitely listening to everything we say too.”

He eventually enters the room again. This time, whiter than a sheet like he has seen a ghost.

“Listen. I have no clue how you did that. I don’t know how to even handle this kind of a situation but I believe you. We probably should be alerting someone of your capabilities but then again, they are yours. I am going to do something that could cost me my job in the future. Maybe even some of us who have watched the footage back there. You could do good in this world with what you have, or you could do bad. I don’t know what you intended to spend the money on, but most would use it for their own benefit. I suggest you do otherwise. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, because you were trying to be honest with me from the beginning. I don’t think you are like a lot of people out there. In fact, I don’t think your friend here, Jackie? is either? I am going to let you leave with your earnings today. I am going to hope you take some of it that you need, then use some of it to do something good. I have turned off all recording just to say this to you girls. If I didn’t, I would only be shooting myself in the foot like I explained. Now, that I have put my faith in you two, and possibly my job in the future, please leave and do not show your faces in here again. I only want to see you on the news for doing something brave and beautiful.”

By the end of this, both Olivia’s and Jackie’s eyes were full of tears. They were able to hold them back, but he knew they were affected by his words. They hurried with their belongings, while repeatedly and graciously saying “thank you.”

As they made their way back to the car, Olivia says:

“If angels exist. We met one just now in human form. Just when I thought people wouldn’t risk anything to do good in this world they exceed my expectations.”

To the Broadcaster Who Told Me To Kill Myself

I hope when you read this your empty grin turns into a grimace. I know it will. Despite apparently having so much self proclaimed “relevancy” you seem quite angry. Why are you so angry if you have everything then?

By the way, when you send the money to my mother to “pay for the abortion she didn’t have” (obviously me) originally; make sure you send some love with it. (Sarcasm) Oh wait? You can’t because the only thing you seem to care about is affecting people negatively for fun & acquiring more material objects. I watched you on a live stream orchestrate the harassment against me by using fake accounts. And it was a funny coincidence my Twitter was hacked that evening as well.

Such a sad attitude to be wasting all your talent and destroying your image. Such a sad close group you have echo chambering your vile behavior. If they actually cared they would have wanted to see you be a better person. But of course, instead you have handed over moderation to these kinds of people. A disappointment. And it isn’t just you who is conducting in this manner. There are many like you honestly.

I know you display some naracisstic qualities so I’ll clarify as well I am not writing this because I’m “jealous of you.” I’ve dealt with sociopaths, narcicissts, and unfortunately I know how they operate. Trust me, I don’t envy someone with an inability to show empathy. My intent is for me to get this overly negative weight off my shoulders that you placed upon me; someone you know nothing about. And quite frankly if you knew what I’ve been through and what I am currently going through; my defensive reactions to your tactics would make more sense to you. My point is: I truly believe some of us have endured unimaginable things more than others. Some people really cannot comprehend what it is like to try to mend those things unless they have been in a similar situation. Nor would I want them to. I don’t want anyone to suffer through severely traumatic experiences. I am just saying keep in mind you don’t really know people online and you don’t know their story if you never asked.

I just hope you do realize I am human being behind the keyboard with family and friends who would miss me. I think most of us have someone who would miss us if we gave into suicide (I hope). I feel as a whole with social media, people have forgotten when addressing one another, we are actually addressing a real person. I see people calling each other names constantly, making up things on one another, and now I see more and more physical threats. I also see more kill yourself comments. Especially in this political atmosphere. Do you want to make it so laws have to be created surrounding online conduct & actually be enforced? Keep acting like an animal behind the keyboard then.

I can say even if I dislike someone, I have more restraint with my words than most online. My particular recent “bully” can’t say that because of a lack of patience. Nor people like this. They wear it like a badge of honor when it’s nothing to be proud of. And usually if these people have children, they try to teach this attitude to their children to carry on into society. What kind of example are you setting? I secretly hope their children realize that kind of attitude won’t work in life for the long haul. I hope they try to not be like bad influences, even if those influences are their own parents.

It isn’t okay to walk around in the world putting others down because you’re “relevant” at that time and have influence. What happened to respecting fans? What happened to appreciate fans? I see less appreciation the larger some people become. As if they think it will last forever and they let their ego run ahead. But I have bad news for you: when upcoming talent creeps up on you, you’re going to become irrelevant with that kind of attitude. Just keep that in mind. There are kind AND talented people out there who will create competition for you. Why create your own downfall?

Johnny Man (Not Boy) Part Five

“I really hope you both don’t think I wanted to do that though.” Liz says with a guilty expression.

“I know you didn’t. Please don’t feel horrible. If it wasn’t for you, Thomas and I would not be here. And who knows what they would have done to you if they found you Liz. You did some quick thinking and that is what we needed in the moment.” John reassures.

“Thank you.”

“Agreed. Sorry I am not the one with the words, but you were quite the impressive, most sneaky lady I have ever seen.” Thomas says.

“Thanks again guys. I really don’t know what we are going to do though if this place keeps getting attacked every night. I do not have enough ammo for a big fight every night.”

“We don’t. That’s why we must set traps Liz. Secure the perimeter. Intimidate. Send a message to people who want to steal from us, attack us, and not be with us: that we are a force to be reckoned with.” John declares.

They dig pits around the perimeter. Instead of creating stakes in them, they leave water and a morsel of food. The truth is, they need fighters. People who have guts but maybe lack direction. This will help create a strong community they both agree.

John comes up with a string system around the perimeter attached to bells inside the barn. He has them all labeled with numbers corresponding to a map he created of the area. He will know where an attack is coming from before the enemy even knows he exists. John has studied every inch of the landscape today. He studies everywhere to hide, run, engage or disengage. And Liz is quite impressed.

“I think you know this land better than me in one day John.”

“I know. That is the goal, haha. I can’t have you telling me where to run, while I am being shot at my dear! We all have to act independently at times.”

“Indeed we do.”

The bell rings. The one all the way on the left. John double checks the map and points.

“He’s coming from over here. If the bell rings several times, there must be more than one.”

It doesn’t ring again.

“Liz, you stay here. Thomas come with me.”

“There is only one though, John. I can handle it. Stop treating me like a baby. Thomas I am in charge, you stay here.” She says sternly.

“Okay, Liz. Come with me.” John says, trying not to argue at a crucial moment.

She grabs her submachine gun.

“I’m ready.”

John chuckles and they head in the direction of the potential enemy.

“It’s a woman, John!” Liz exclaims as they see her on the edge of the clearing. Her clothes look disheveled. She looks like she has been through something horrific.

“Stand back Liz! This could be a trap! Please stay back. Listen to me I do not have a good idea about this!”

She almost runs to her, but instead something inside of her told her to stay by John. He moves slowly towards the woman by himself. Instructs Liz to stay at least fifteen feet behind him. She follows his orders, secretly terrified inside, her heart racing more than it has ever before.

“Put your hands up slowly maim! I am just making sure this isn’t some kind of trap. If you are innocent you have nothing to worry about, my lady. And by some miracle you have found us.”

He sees three men emerge from the edge of the clearing as he moved closer to the woman.

“Please don’t kill me.” She says while in tears. “They hurt me already. Please don’t hurt me. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Liz, get ready.” He mutters.

Her words are breaking John’s heart. He knows this could end in tragedy depending on his next move, but moves have to be made. He moves swiftly towards the woman, only a few feet away and pushes her aside to the ground. He falls to the ground himself, then starts shooting, each bullet hits each man in between the eyes. They fall like cartoon puppets, like something out of a movie he imagines because the past memories he has of war would easily make him lose his mind.

“I didn’t want to have to do that. But once again; I had to do something I didn’t want to do in life. Liz come over here and help this woman. I have a faceful of dirt right now and am tired.”

Liz is in shock. She feels she has just watched one of the best gunmen in the world protect two women from harm’s way. She grabs the woman’s arm calmly, looks her in the eyes and says:

“My dear, you cannot stay out here. We must be quiet for now. It’s going to be okay now. You found a sanctuary in the middle of chaos. It’s going to be okay.”

The women quiets her sobbing.

“Thank you. Thank you both. I don’t know what I would have done if you both hadn’t been there. They tried to use me as bait. I’ve seen so much already. I’ve seen so much already. You have no idea.”

“Shhh. It’s okay. We’ll get to the barn soon and can talk there. Just stay calm.” Liz reassures.

John doesn’t say much. He is still in shock he just killed three men and hasn’t had to do so much killing since the war. He honestly feels sort of unprepared emotionally, but knows if he were to express this to anyone, they would think of him as a weak character. So of course, he doesn’t. His heart is heavy for the unknown woman that just graced their presence as a piece of bait. He thinks: How cruel do you have to be to use someone else as bait? This is the kind of behavior which has ruined our society and caused such great conflict in the first place. He sees this as a symbolic situation; sort of beyond the situation. It makes him sad, deep down. He wants everyone to join forces together who stand for a good cause, but he also knows ultimately some people will give into fear.

 

Miss Magic Part V

Olivia wakes up to a thunderstorm. The rain hits her air conditioner and makes a steadily annoying noise. She has gotten used to it over the years, but sometimes it is unbearable. She imagines it is some kind of beat and sits there at times writing words to it. It makes the noise less annoying and actually beneficial. She chuckles internally at how she has managed to do a lot with so little in her life. With all the annoyances in general. Big or small. How her ability to adapt to situations, seems to just be an almost ingrained genetic trait.

Her eyes look young, but brain is always alert, learning, and imaginative beyond her years. At times, she finds herself observing people more than engaging. She blames psychology. Now has ventured off into neuroscience as well, always trying to seemingly connect the dots people may not find. Most People can no longer critically think though she finds. Olivia feels lost in conversations, oftentimes afraid to share a controversial opinion.. Once in a while, she’ll encounter someone else who has read similar things though, has passion, and can engage in a conversation. But it is honestly rare. She finds herself creating characters out of all these engagements, changing the names of course, but always trying to find some kind of benefit; even if the engagement was negative.

She spent most of her day writing an outline for a story, then discovering it was pointless. So had grown used to the academic setting. It had started to condition her to treat her won writing in more of a structured way though, which went against certain natural creative abilities she possessed. This finally led to the realization she could no longer plan anything out to a T in general. Like a savage, she had to let her mind wander, be free, and just focus on maintaining passion. A difficult task when it seems the world is always trying to peel the walls back. Difficult to find a positive energy out of her life story she tries so hard to forget half of the plot to. Not out of her own regrets mostly, but other people regretting their inability eventually to actually show empathy towards the right people. Oftentimes, people are misled Olivia observes, like a herd of sheep led by the most outgoing dog. The loudest seem to prevail, but not always the loudest should be given the encouragement she feels. Sometimes the person hiding in the corner, only talking to one person, needs it the most but usually goes unnoticed.

She starts to feel edgy. This urge to call Jackie right at that moment and meet up again. It was so much fun. There is honestly, nothing she would rather be doing at that moment but trying to learn everything about her, but Olivia refrains.  She pets the cat for a moment of comfort, then retreats out alone in her typical fashion. Figuratively and literally.

She never leaves the house without matching from head to toe. Sort of this OCD thing she always had as a child as well. I guess no one called it out enough to change the behavior, but then again how is it a bad thing? She thinks. Ha ha. People take notice once in a while, then she feels the nice energy coming her way absorbs it like a chameleon.  Then back to Hermitville; her apartment again. Especially if it is winter.

She donates to literacy at the store, even though she has hardly anything herself. Sort of not caring anymore about materialistic things in certain situations. Always trying to find a way to take nothing from anything and give nothing to anything that is misleading. To her, that is the ultimate goal in life. To be able to reach the point where you desire nothing from anyone, take nothing from anyone, and be grounded entirely in as strange as it sounds; the self. If you cannot live with yourself, you cannot truly live. She thinks of this saying quite often. Has no idea where it came from, whether it be out of her own mind or something she read. Either way, it doesn’t bother her to have “credit” like some do. Everything is sort of an inspiration derived from another inspiration. Except in cases of straight imitation and depending on the context, it could be argued that person has a lack of creativity. Which can happen. Olivia was always mesmerized by Hollywood imitation, repetition, and fads in general. Not mesmerized as in buying into it, but rather amazed by how many people buy into the destructive: live fast and die young lifestyle. How some have become so ego fueled, they live in completely self perpetuated destructive cycle, and chip at everyone who actually cares with the blinders on. Such a shame, all the talent wasted on trying to stay “ahead,” no matter what the cost. Even if it seems to cost them their existence.

She often dreams of being as wealthy as those in Beverly Hills but her smile quickly fades. Imagining starving children in Venezuela seems to strike a chord. Too much suffering in the world, and not enough hope. She thinks. She can’t imagine the guilt that would come with immense wealth. Most people would jump at the chance to spoil themselves, but she would rather have animals and people around she could help. She would find a way to help others and still maintain some kind of profit margin in order to sustain it. Unfortunately, it seems most stash their money away, invest it in stocks, die without spending it, or spend it selfishly at all times. It just doesn’t make sense, she thinks. Why create a storm when you could create a rainbow?

She thought of her hometown. A man who owned a shoe factory that her Great Grandmother once worked for was quite kind to his workers. Olivia’s Great Grandmother had a mundane duty of inserting insoles into shoes. It didn’t pay much obviously, but the owner offered financing to his workers for homes. He basically built up an entire neighborhood around the plant for cheap and offered houses for an affordable price. The community had each others backs and was beautiful. The archway dedicated to him still stands. Olivia finds herself walking under it often, then looking up in awe. Still looks like it is made out of the best quality, and carved by some of the most talented of workers. She thinks Most have no idea what it really means, or probably even take notice though. Sometimes the best things are hidden in plain sight.

Her eyes are drawn to the magic kit again and away from deep thoughts. It was just sitting under the coffee table, collecting some dust. She still hadn’t fathomed the possibility she might be different. Convinced a lack of sleep at that time, caused some kind of psychosis. Blamed it directly on what she researched.

She pours a glass of wine. Finishes it rather quickly. It has been a while. She grabs the magic kit eventually.

“Geez. Just a piece of plastic from China probably. Just some toy. Some childhood token, messing with my insomniac, psychosis, infected, mind. Thanks.” She chuckles.

She puts the cards out on the table. Each one, one by one this time. Eventually they have to be placed upon the chairs as well. All fifty two of them.  We’re going to see if I am crazy. She says under her breath as if some unknown presence is there with her. Perhaps hoping there is some force therewith her. Partially tired of not having any excitement in life. She says with an exhausted sigh:

“If I am not crazy turn this Ace into an eight, please just show me if I have to be locked up behind a gate.” Then let’s out a chuckle as usual. But the chuckle didn’t last too long. She turned it over and it was now an eight. She was surrounded by a deck missing an Ace and having an extra eight. She frantically took pictures with her phone, in hopes of showing Jackie tomorrow and confirming perhaps; maybe she is losing her mind from a lack of sleep.  She drinks another glass of wine to take the edge off and dozes off, hoping to not have a nightmare about magic.