Dorothy and the Flying Monkeys

Some of you are misguided flying monkeys, led by a wicked male witch who wants control over women. Just know, you will never turn Dorothy into one of your monkeys or dolls, haha. She was never meant to be near your power play antics or your ruined castle. If you keep trying, it just makes you look more sinister so fly away on your perch until you are requested by your master to do his bidding. Go ahead and try to take down her support system but in the end, Dorothy will always be made of better moral fiber. She is not perfect but she is nothing like you all who get your jollies off of manipulating other people for control. She is not owned by your male witch, your group of minions, or your town. She is owned by herself only so believe me when I say if you continue you are dumb. Leave Dorothy alone you misogynistic cult, haha. Take your hillbilly, 50’s era, women can’t spell antics, and read this: you don’t own any woman. Maybe try to be a kind, loving, moral, faithful man and you can craft a meaningful relationship. Bahahaha. Now take your monkeys and fly away, Dorothy wants to be left alone. 😉

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Some People Have a Lack of Boundaries

I don’t know if anyone else noticed but for the past few years it has become normalized to have no boundaries. Hate to break it to those who use social media in toxic ways, but it is not normal to have friends online who don’t give two hoots about you in person. So much so they cannot even say hi in person. It’s not normal to broadcast every crevice of your life, your children, your coffee, your breakups, and your makeups to people who have no boundaries and/or questionable motives. Am I the odd one out for thinking this way? I suppose, but a lack of healthy boundaries could lead to problematic situations. Could lead to people having misconceptions, judgments, mob attacks, and giving power over to those who don’t deserve it. It’s silly.

Those who “know” too much can use this in negative ways. They can gossip, manipulate and infer quite the assumptions about your life based upon a crafted profile. They might think you are walking around crapping unicorns and rainbows when you can even pass a bowel movement in the morning. Haha.

This whole concept of just showing our best moments in general is problematic. It dehumanizes the natural human experience and when everyone starts to follow this procotol it normalizes an unrealistic reality. No wonder some people feel depressed or anxious after being on social media. There is a strong feeling of having to live up to an image that is in a way, unattainable. No one wants to play droid. Deep down we all crave authenticity.

No one wakes up every day blissful, not constipated, runs to a blender to prepare juice, and works out like a machine. And if you have kids, it isn’t just a walk in the park where they look like innocent little cherubs. There might be days where they smear poop on the walls, crayon your table, and need to be carried out of the store because you didn’t buy them that piece of candy. No one is perfect and has perfect days.

I urge those who start to feel as if they are an issue because their life doesn’t look like a hallmark card, to remember the models in the cards even have days where they hate themselves. Days where they pick apart every inch of their beautiful bodies, cry into a pillow, and feel immense pressure to be perfect while eating a carton of ice cream. The perfect family you see online is most likely sleep deprived, overworked, and ready to cry from the pressure of appearing like a photograph that comes in a freshly bought frame. The successful person is not always fulfilled by money, and very well could be really depressed behind that lavish lifestyle. Remember, no matter what appears online or even in person, people could be struggling with something unseen. No one is perfect as cliche as it sounds but we must learn to accept there are currently some unhealthy expectations going on in society. These are manifesting throughout social media and being thrown in our faces as a way we should all live. But it is not real. So remember to live in the moment at times, put the phone down, and not take everything so seriously. ❤

Miss Scapegoat

She is crutching and waiting for the man who pretends he is everything. The man who acts like a knight in shining armor but really has no armor and no training. This time, she is ready to combat his facade. The one he wears at the expense of an easy prey. And the ugliness in this type of person beams like the sun does through their eyes, then reflects as if it is unable to reach their soul.

Although it can be disappointing, she is awake to the evil in this world. It isn’t down below but rather running rampant over the sick, poor, and vulnerable. Trampling, silencing, and blaming them all for their misfortune.

There is nothing more hysterical than the way this type twists everything wrong about themselves into being about everyone else. Projection at its finest. Just watch how they are prancing around with grown up clothes but carrying a childlike brain. She pities you all. The way you chose a scapegoat to sacrifice like it’s some kind of ritual. Was she supposed to be your sacrifice in a ritual? Seems so. Haha, it didn’t work out as you all planned huh? Part of me thinks some of you wanted to see her all broken, helpless, and lying in a ditch. Such nice men and women to want to attack one woman from all angles in order to decimate her stability. Lie, lie, lie all you desire but the truth will write your future.

Speaking of lies. So many lies have been said about her, she can’t even keep track of them all. All said so they can get away with wrongdoings. Even going so far as to lie about her being somewhere she wasn’t. It’s okay. Maybe she will just walk around with a camera as her own alibi. She doesn’t need anyone, just her intelligence and good ol’ boundary-less technology. Haha. Maybe she will turn her life into the Truman show since some have chosen such a sad existence to live that she has to protect herself every step of the way. So kind for some to find others to blame for their choices and immoral behavior. Now she isn’t around, did you find your next tight knit community scapegoat?

Sorry if you haven’t. The one legged, abandoned girl made the ultimate prey, huh? She literally couldn’t get away, haha. Well you all thought she couldn’t but her willpower and adrenaline decided to kick into overdrive. So much so her bones crunched and shifted but like a superhero she kept going. She kept running from all the false faces while a pain few could imagine, resided in her heart and toes. So go ahead and try to change the narrative of her life, her last days of being stuck in an abyss before escaping. Go ahead, try to blame it all on her but just know no one deserved what she endured: to carry her broken mind on broken feet. So leave her abandoned like so many did a thousand times before. She’s not your scapegoat anymore.

Glad I Motivated You

Don’t think for a second

If I see you

I’ll let you treat me like a peasant

Acting like you are a king

So glad you took back the ring

Because it really just felt like a sting

Being purposed to like a thing

And thank you for making me stronger

Never thought you would stick around for longer

Every woman who walks by makes you ponder

Hopping the fence

So you make jealous take on a full sentence

While you mess with heads

38 going on 18

Threw away all of his dreams

But had to put down everyone it seems

Hoping he can attract someone who gleams

Brighter than he could ever be

So don’t come near my sanctuary

Glad I motivated you

Glad you might change a bit for you

It shouldn’t take breaking someone in two

Glad colors had shown through

Now go find the true you

Don’t think for a minute

I’m sitting here unable to finish

A sentence

Or I’m jealous

Of unpassionate love

I was like a dove

While you cast your ego above

Every single one of us

Trading us like cards in a deck

Lined up another for a set

When one gets mad

Place your bet

While telling the new one

She’s just upset

Over nothing

Immature game played by the ugly

Glad I motivated you

Glad you might change a bit for you

It shouldn’t take breaking someone in two

Glad colors had shown through

Now go find the true you.

Miss Crop Top

Miss crop top

Bar hop

Boyfriend drop

Kind of gal

Miss diabolical

Thinks she’s better than ya’ll

But really just a short term thrill

Never test me

I’m so blessed to be

Away from an empty destiny

So please dump out my Hennessy

Got a big thank you girl from me

For taking away his fallacy

Hope you have fun living a messed up reality

The grass isn’t greener

Now you see

Jokes on him

Attracted your own kind of codependency

Female version of you

Got you wishing for me, uh huh

Miss crop top

Bar hop

Boyfriend drop

Kinda gal

Miss diabolical

Thinks she’s better than ya’ll

But really full of killer pills

Never step to me

I’m so blessed to be

Away from your fake friends I see

Go ahead choose Miss smutty

Like it’s a kind of luxury

She looks 25 going on 20

So much coke she’s already ugly

Bahaha

Hope you find out she has plenty

Men around and it’s funny

I bet you’re wishing you could love me

But couldn’t even get on one knee

So now you’re my puppy

Crying, looking like a big dummy

Haha

So go pick up your….

Crop top

Bar hop

Boyfriend drop

Kind of girl

She is nothing but everyone’s cheap thrill. 🙄😉😋

Don’t Give in to Anger

Alright. So life can become very weird when you have a bunch of dysfunctional people around you. And really a person has only two ways to react: anger or just to laugh at it. I personally am past the anger stage at this point as it only fuels dysfunctional people who desire power over your emotions. It’s really quite a juvenile game to play and I see the most vulnerable of people having to endure it while going through a storm in their lives. I see this mob attack mentality in real life and on social media. I tell those who are going through it, you are stronger than those who have to resort to attempting to control or bring you down. My word of advice: If you can look back and laugh they cannot win. Why? Because they can no longer cause cortisol to run rampant throughout your body until you want to lie around like a sloth. Haha.

Myself, however should be sloth-like because I am going through surgery after surgery and for reasons I don’t want to say I need rest now. Like, right now. To anyone who wants to object they can take their dysfunctional mentality right out of my life and bring it to someone else. My boundaries are set like the great wall of China at this point. I have archers shooting arrows at anyone in a mile long radius of my now protected empire of self. Anyone who thinks differently can go jump on their own ego train, out of my life and into the log upon the tracks that awaits them for having such an ego. Haha. I really don’t want any weird dysfunctional people near me. Thanks. I don’t want to try to have superpowers I cannot obtain either in attempt to make some happy. Not my fault you reside in a self-induced, lack of empathy or boundaries state of mind.

Shall I learn how to levitate for all those who want me to hurry up and get out of the way at the store? Shall I just attached some go go gadget blades upon my head so I can fly over everyone and avoid the constant conversations consisting of: how long is this going to take to heal, you’ve been doing this forever. Haha. Or my favorite (added sarcasm on my part): look at you! You lazy, golddigging woman going through extensive surgeries! No crap this kind of garbage was said to me as I attempted to counteract their misceptions while hobbling upon one leg. I should have just started crawling around saying I’m trying to be Bill Gates with one leg down, no sleep possible, but there’s no time for rest! Haha. Dis is Merica’! Where some pride themselves in a rest is for pansies mentality. Well, I urge some of you to research what only two days of a lack of sleep does to the brain. It’s quite fascinating and terrifying at the same time. A sort of alternate state of consciousness comes about. Most people can develop terrible mood swings, memory issues, paranoia and a lack of solving basic math problems.

I had numerous toxic relationships where sleep deprivation was common. Combined with my physical issues it was like being in an experiment. Whether it was unintentional or intentional when it comes to these past people doesn’t concern me but what was interesting was what happened to me. My experience has been eye opening and should serve as a warning to those who either live with people affecting their sleep or have ailments doing so. Perhaps both? Regardless I cannot stress enough how important sleep and rest is especially if you healing.

Do not listen to those who fail to understand what you are going through while having a sleep pattern disrupted. Or while trying to recover from a health issue in general honestly. Do not listen to those who attempt to rush your recovery either. They are not doctors, mentors, or have your best interests in mind if you are continually viewed as a burden. You are a human being, with beautifully crafted cells of resilience.

I think we need to start treating the sick, the poor and the hungry with a bit more respect regardless of our perceptions on how they got there. They say most Americans are one step away from losing it all, so keep that in mind when health care costs are absolutely ridiculous. Keep in mind most cannot afford what was once the American dream without living an overworked, sleepless nightmare. So be kind to those who are struggling for it could be you someday. Be kind to everyone even if it seems like they have nothing to give. Some of the richest souls aren’t made of money.

Thank you for reading.

Miss Awakened from the Slumber (Inspired by the life of a forgotten face)

She reaches for the glass. It’s half empty this morning and not half full. She wishes for it to be half full but her perception is not optimistic at the moment. Understandable, considering the situation as her stomach churns with hunger. Insides feeling exhausted all the way to the outside where the world she once knew seems utterly unfamiliar. Scattered love letters lie across the floor. Scattered pieces of her life lie across the room as she makes an effort to understand it all in a different light. It is so much on her soul, her body weakens with each day from the stress as she holds onto the one last piece of everything so the final battle can happen as if it is meant to be in a hidden colosseum.

And that is what it is meant to do: weaken the opponent until she shows up to battle with a broken sword. Weakening her in ways where only an ounce of will remains flashing crazily like a beacon for all the judgmental eyes to see. Perfectly formulated psychological warfare so she appears unhinged, unhappy, unable to move on while the invisible chains attached to her ankles make no sound. But they make the loudest sound to her ears. The sound of efforts by others to destroy her progress with a kind of social experiment. A kind of bullying on steroids campaign that makes her appear as if she is wearing a tinfoil hat if she speaks of its tactics. Tactics that are designed to stay so unseen by the majority, yet obvious to the victim. Tactics filled with gaslighting, isolation, deformation, and annilation. It’s sad, she thinks, that some would chose to destroy love rather than embrace it. It is sad power is so much desired by some they are blinded by the tragedy it creates. Her thoughts are full of a realist perspective forged by the efforts made to destroy her. Her thoughts create an awakening the enemy never thought was possible. Her eyes are open with every last ignored teardrop.

She’s awake now more than ever. The twigs hit the windowpane as she tries to map out what happened each night. The map is riddled full of fake paths, traps, and a small chance of success. They rooted for her failure, using their power to try to solidify her downfall and a kind of codependency. A kind of role played by a Monroe but she was more like a Betty Hutton.

And the belly they wanted to grow now lies empty. Baby left into the skies above before it even had a chance to feel the ground. She can feel its presence looking down as she hopes some kind of justice can replace sorrow. A resting place not made of waterty nightmares but made of the most comfy clouds of dreams.

It’s like she’s writing a script that will end in tragedy with little traces of why hardly ever being asked. Why she was left for dead in a patriarchal crafted box full of intentionally desecrated dreams? She’s still trying to live the script though, with parts being played and created at her expense. Why? She thinks. Gotta keep up their lies and point at the truth seekers like they need self-reflection. Like some deserve to be casted out on an island. But the funny thing is the island ended up too expensive so the powerful picked a cage for all the victims instead. Then they methodically placed this cage in front of all to see, envoking a fear of uncertainty of the “culprit’s character. That could be me they all believe as they scurry away trying to avoid the penalty for having character, honor, compassion and love.

Fear is at the root of it all, growing steadily in the minds of the infected all around her. Everyone like her, separated from one another in kenneled like cages as if they are animals. Meant to be studied, decided if they’re good enough by a visual critique, then euthanized if beyond redemption. Hey! We got another one speaking out over here! Savable or not? Then a powerful voice answers with a mostly tragic answer of no.

By no means is she all alone but it is meant to invoke that feeling of isolation.  The feeling no one on the planet but she can understand this kind of unseen torment. Rejected men mostly behind it all, grasping onto whatever they have left of a woman they tried to destroy. Silently speaking their venomous lies about every woman in their past, while smiling in their faces.

And this kind of woman was so pure to all those who metaphorically cut her tongue that the blood will remain on their hands and in their heads. Nightmares will show her wrath while in dreams her touch will feel so angelic it will still be a form of torment. Because they all know who made her disappear slowly and even the coldest of souls will feel her storm each night their broken mind hits a pillow.  It’s a shame love cannot always prevail in reality but can in dreams.