Poetry

The King of My Skies

Eyes meet

tastefully sweet

tongue speaks

and its all complete

baby you make me show teeth

and I hate doing that too much

looks kinda fake but with you

its like a piece of cake

and I want to put sprinkles on you

lick each one with my the tip of my tongue

I want to kiss your ear while your drivin’

cuz’ I know I am the only one

who can make the temperature rise

windows fog and have pride in being your woman

leaving all other men stranded at the roadside…

as we drive by watching the bad get it good

everything in the past is understood

I broke free when I took flight

in my automobile and drove that night

unknowing if I would leave with blood on my sleeve

or unable to leave your side in complete sincerity…

questioning why I am so crazy

to trust a voice

not a face

but it was the best jump I took

cuz now you cannot be reaplaced

cuz I can look into your eyes…

see the inner turmoil caused by other people’s lies…

have respect cuz you still came out of it wise

enough to see love in disguise

and I hope you will be the king of my blue skies.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

I think, I Feel

I think I found him

he was hiding behind a bunch of girls

who didn’t matter at the bar

just waiting for me to come along

cuz’ I usually don’t like to be the fawn

being chase around as if I am in heat

but the fire hasn’t been lit

so I usually don’t complete

a thought with another

let alone meet

and come out of cover

but this battle has been eating me alive inside

I can only hold down my pride and try

to keep my heart from frostbite

but I somehow end up in the middle of a storm

end up the last person home…

and always alone…

he was there

in the cold

he gave the warmth

that makes me moan

bite my lip like a child

yet feel so grown…

laugh until I love

until I believe

everything done by man

can be undone

by a sincere hand…..

I think I found him

in the rhythm of his body

the instructional manual is of no use

for love this wild and loose

is rooted in past despair

of never finding anyone to care

and until our eyes met…

time didn’t exist baby

no one could save me

from hibernating

with my own frostbitten heart….

no one could break my cycle

of being torn apart

by my own nurturing hand

knew the blood on my sleeves

would eventually be seen

by the eyes who mirror mine..

and I am no longer afraid of myself

I am in essence beside myself with you…

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

I’m Just One

Parents gone….

and I’m all alone…

sitting here for months…

decaying scar tissue and bone…

They left me here all in the dark….

no path, no guidance,

and no key for my heart…..

No protection, no logic,

no past, no eyes,

no future, no base,

and they’re in disguise….

they’re no parents….

no help.. no light…

nothing…

their just teens themselves…

avoiding reconstructing.

I’m just one…

floating around with the sun…

hoping to catch a ray of fun..

feeling as if don’t have anyone…

I’m just one

floating around with the sun..

hoping to leave happily as the day is done

feeling as if the sky has become….

a fallacy

Parents gone..

And I’m all alone..

it’s every teens dream…

but I wish I had a home….

everything I’d need….

money, food,

love, and my keys….

oh please oh please

lay it out in front of me, incorporating my dreams….

I’m just one

floating around with the sun

hoping to catch a ray of fun..

feeling as if I don’t have anyone.

Yea I’m just one

floating around with the sun

blinding my eyes

cuz’ from the past I run

the darkness is done

day is won

I’m complete…

There’s no need for anyone

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Decoding the High End Demand

Everyone’s a musician

Everyone is a string and hand

Everyone’s a photographer

Everyone is in command

with the high end demand

eyes shut motionless as the words

shun away from the band

no instrument could tune into

what I hear inside my head

Feet stomping over the clefs

playing over the frets

forcing a symbolic death to the history

we all forgot a long time ago

thinking reinvention is the mind’s goal

detaching from the book bindings of those before

who decoded the sounds

created the art we can only hope to ignore

in this world where…

Everyone’s a musician

Everyone is a string and hand

Everyone’s their photographer

Everyone thinks their in command.

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

The Privileged

Walking down the streets

running into the fakers

The teenage news anchors

Who have to spread their drama

Like it’s news at five

Like the world suddenly

Just fell into a sink hole

When really their mommy and daddy

Just cut their mother fn payroll…

Yet their so fd up they still don’t feel like the banks full

They are the privileged

They are born into it

Die into it…

Fly into it…

Lie when they start shit…

Walk around and don’t hide it…

That their fn privileged.

Walking down the streets

Hoping I do not meet

Another look like class

But act like the trash

Beneath your feet…

Who have to spread their voice

Across the world

Like they have something they have to say

But really it makes me wanna lay

Down…

Take a nap

Drown…

In my own bottle of dreams

Since I would rather not have my reality

Based up my privileges

A fallacy.

They are the privileged

They are born into it

Die into it

whine when they go through shit….

Lie when they can’t handle it…

Walk around and don’t admit..

They are no better for being privileged. 

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Waiting for the Knight

Waiting on a dark road

My lights turned off

I am waiting for a deal with the devil

Trying to sell my soul for a moment with a savior

Trying to avoid the crevices in the road

As crimson flames embark on the surface

Reminding me I am moments away from a fiery demise

And then I see his eyes

Like headlights they blind my path

Blind my perception of the world as an inevitable apocalypse

Making me question everything before this moment

When all darkness turned into light…

When all sadness turned into triumph

His eyes disintegrate time into nothing but the sand in an hourglass

As I am hoping the meantime goes fast

Knowing I could wait forever for you….

Waiting on the same ol’ dark road

My lights now turned on

I am waiting for a deal with the man in fine armor

Trying to sell my soul for the moment when his shield lies upon the ground

Trying to see beyond the protective layer he so diligently maintains

As all the battle wounds become exposed like the flames

Beneath his feet

And then I see his eyes

Like two northern stars they project light upon the universe

My universe

Blinding me from the inevitable apocalypse

Making me free from the future and past

As his armor drops around his feet

As his horse wanders off into the street

As if looking for the same kind of salvation his master finds

When his eyes meet

The woman with eyes like a serpent

But the smile of a child…

And His eyes disintegrate time into nothing but the sand in an

hourglass

As I am hoping the meantime goes fast

I know I could wait forever for you

Traveling the same dark road

Making a deal with the devil

For just a glimpse into his eyes.

————————————————————————————————————————-

Desire Controls the Heart

Although my eyes do not seek

Although my heart has turned bleak….

I will take the world away

for just once glance of purity…

a sickening sweet taste of love…

Although my seas are calm…

and steady breezes only come along…

I will roll in the clouds…

feel the rain upon my palms…

know its better…

than nothing….

nothing at all.

desire controls the heart at difference…

difference.

And although my face lost its color…

my soul feels the need to wander…

I will anchor my ship

to find the better half of me thrown overboard…

clenched by the movements of the sea

And Although…

Although…I have nothing left….

I will progress

to the treasure of love.

desire controls the heart at difference…

at difference

———————————————————————————————————————————————–

Finally Belong

I’m sailing in a sea of hopelessness

as the devil grants god one last breath of air

all secrets are eroded away

to nothing

our destiny alone in the palm of our hand

cuz’ we can’t comprehend everything re-invents itself through man

And I don’t understand why we choose this life..

it’s like eating the bark

leaving the fruit

not thinking twice

forcing a knife

to carve a tree with strife

I’m wandering in a forest, free of footsteps

as the devil grants god to walk across it

all the flowers are stepped on

all the rarest animals are hunted

till there is nothing heard

but the flutter of a butterfly

it’s mother natures faint cry

And I don’t understand why we chose this life

it’s like eating the bark

leaving the fruit

not thinking twice

forcing a knife

to carve a tree with strife

Dying in my once haven

as the devil grants god to show his light

all of my sight is smoldered away

skin is budded a crimson may

there is nothing left but rotting decay

forcing me back on yesterday

to decipher why my life led this way

On the ground I lay,

living day by day, easily unable to runaway

from myself…

I finally belong.

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Forgotten Or Remembered?

Hold me for awhile

I feel like a battered animal

Found on the side of the road

Left to the forces of nature

Left to be forgotten

Left perhaps for the one person out of hundreds

Who will stop to check my breath

It either one or the other in this world

The worst or the best from a bad situation

I know this too well

This familiar feeling creeping its way in on me

The familiar light spinning all around me

Creating a kind of depth I cannot make sense of

But enjoy trying to

But would enjoy trying to with someone

Who could matter

Who could save me from the road

Could save me from my own nature

Could bind me to them from my feet to my face

Could show me the world is still the same

Show me I just grew tired of the same ol stuff

Sitting in the same ol place

So I pushed everything into different spots

creating the illusion I now cannot ignore

but he will make me see it is all the same…

and find comfort in knowing no matter how much

The mind sees things as rearranged

The negative of the image still exists…

————————————————————————————————————————————————–

The Runaway

Everyone becomes one of the same…

and we all sit around and complain as if no one is listening

but the ruckus has already been heard for way too long

The voice no longer complements but ruins the song

The words become judgments and nothing is learned…

Trapping the listener on a page that cannot be turned..

While we all know…

It could have been turned into any glorified story

if the mind wandered far enough..

but not too far from daily activities

as if it decided to walk into the woods

then return for dinner casually…

I sit and wonder why we all try so hard

to find something we have all along

to prove something that exists already

to taste the sour kiss of the familiar again

unable to comprehend it’s all the same my friend…

I just want to swim away

make my own bed to lay

find the mind that wont let me stray

live and breathe every last day…

Everyone becomes one of the same…

a memory and I don’t want to complain

make it seem like everything is lame

when the next interstate I cross could bring own a whole new destination….

but I have this dedication

to those whose words are left unspoken

to those who hurt and cannot mend what has been broken

never give up on the life you have chosen

for your tears will become frozen

the hourglass will empty its sand

and time will become nothing but the hand

of a clock…

I just want to find a random road to take…

fill my tank and call this a chance to make….

my ambitions come alive

embrace reality and try not hide..

who I am.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

The Pebble Roll

There is nothing surprising me anymore

I feel like I am glued to my headboard

Dreams of far away places

I will never see

Cascading down the slope I created in my life

Like a pebble down a hill

I feel as if the force of life

Has granted me some time off

Solitude

Adventure

Then solitude

Adventure

In search of something I lost a long time ago…

Perhaps My ability to imagine anything

To dream of pirate ships

Of castles bombarded by trees pressing upon their gates

Of a garden the size of a country all to myself

Of a world much different than this…

And I am torn between my imagination

And the state we call reality…

And When I wake up

There is nothing in this world

I cannot see

Cannot dream

I see faces in trees

Clouds smiling upon me

River and streams

Flowing into a fantasy world

All within the depths of my mind…

So Maybe I am suppose to roll

Like a pebble down a hill

Shifting between solitude

adventure

Solitude then

adventure

In search of the mind I once had as a child.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

Mending Our Generation

Living in a dream

It seems…

I did everything they wanted

And I still do not know

Who it was for…

Are they beneath the ground?

Or above the clouds?

Are they hidden?

Or trying not to be found?

I think they dug a hole

Like animals…

Reproduced within all their comforts…

And left the fallen to work above their lairs…

I just want an answer

Even if it doesn’t make me free

I just want an answer

Someone to see

The pain greed creates

The flight then fall

I anticipate

Every time I wake….

Living a scheme

It seems…

I have fallen

With the lost and forgotten

Trying to find the nail for my own coffin

They had the money to buy

And the money to break me into…

I just want an answer…

Even if it doesn’t offer peace

I just want to stare into the face

Of those responsible for the mistakes

Our generation has to mend…

————————————————————————————————————————————————–

He Shows Up Then Down

He shows up for his coat

He shows up to cope

He hides behind his throat

His words are makin’ him choke….

And he blames the sun

He blames the moon

He blames the child inside

for it has not ever heard  a sound in tune…

He shows up for his note

He doesn’t remember what it says

cuz his brain is too broke

he can’t even go to bed

He shows up with a hand

then turns it into a fist

as if he is in command

but breaks his own wrist….

And he blames all women

He blames the things they wear

He blames their past, but can’t seem to bear…

his own fine details become reality

His eyes so sullen cuz’ they will never see…

his own beauty.

—————————————————————————————————————–

He Will

He will miss me like the back of his burnt hand

the skin now shiny from the aftermath

no creases, no character

no callouses, no fields…

He will miss me like an angel

missing from heaven,

the sky now black

during the day

no stars, no moon

no sun, no dusk

He will miss me like a gun

with no trigger

the anger dissipates to sadness

no hugs, no kiss

no love, just a diss…

——————————————————————————————————————————

A Century and A Heart Ago

My heart could cry

a century ago…

due to every asshole that stabbed me so..

I hold onto me..

and create a fallacy

a prince charming

but he never seems to be

my destiny

then like al lion I wait

beneath the grass

of an aftermath

I stand up straight

then become irate

I know its time to

fight the bloodbath

so I move swift

then lite a fire under your ass

Don’t create a lion out of a cub

Don’t make a problem just to act tough

Stand your own ground

until it falls beneath you

then let mother nature

navigate you..

My heart ran dry a century ago

due to an asshole that stabbed me so..

I hold onto me

creating the epitome of what I want to be

then struggle when another

tries to reckon with me

tell me I am not who I appear to be

force me to change my philosophies

so they can see who they want me to be.

—————————————————————————————-

Backwoods Driving

Roll them down

the glass is too dirty

from all the times you pressed your face against them

the cold to hard to embrace…

but now a 50 degree day is magic

no weather can keep my windows up

and unopen to the sounds

no rain can make a frown…

cuz’ I was left behind

hiding along the blinds….

Caressing the string to open them

into the depths in of my unconscious mind

how did it come to this?

Through illusions

and misfortunes

broken bones and dead end corners…

then back around again

the same streets over…

same windows down

but I never pulled over…

Hit the gas…

the road is your duty…

all the times you went the wrong way…

has held you down with fury…

but don’t you worry…

there should be no fear in discovery…

for your heart was all binded up

and now has a chance for recovery…

How did it come to this?

Through sullen and puffy eyes…

How did I survive all this?

Cuz’ my heart is still alive.

—————————————————————————————–

Tears Create Growth

He blames the way I kiss

but never lays down his fist

Holds my head up

when I want it down…

so I can watch my tears

saturate the ground…

the moisture creating a chance

for the seed the grow

my anger become exposed

for every men who has ran his course

across my mind to reverse back over

feeling like the first shot soldier

who had the courage to stand

only to fall to prove there can be moral order

in the way he tries to court her…

but he blames the way I kiss

never laying down his fist

can’t realize the same pain exists

in every wandering mind

cuz’ time is the essence of the blind…

who can’t bear to hear the hourly chime

cuz life isn’t what he made it

it was created out of lies…

And he can blame they way I kiss

while he raises his fist

but I know deep down

he only resists himself.

————————————————————————————————————

In the Dirt

You were the Clyde of my life

swept me through the water

then sank me down under

I tried to breathe but the rhythm was off

my rhythm was off

it was only to the beat of your heart

And it was only when I felt my last breath

I wanted to run away and live…

Raise me up

then take me down

throw the mud over my hair

and kick me to the ground…

but I will blink it all out of my eyes

count the bruises

and never do it again…

never do it again…

You were the Clyde of my life

I may have played Bonnie

but inside I could hear the bodyguard song

and thought Whitney was right all along…

as you played Sweet Jane

as if I was kid handed a candy cane…

that was too old to eat…

Raise me up

then take me down

down to the ground

fill me full of dirt

then kick me when I make a sound

cuz’ all you wanted was silence

but no silence could quiet your own mouth.

—————————————————————————————————————————————-

The Angry Man

Did I look down

see an address on my chest?

Did you suddenly own me

and I became depressed?

Why yes I say

I don’t play that game

you had my head in circles

the minute your feet came

through the door

then out to the parking lot

late night drinking

it didn’t mean a lot

you wanted to escape your own reality

and in an essence you made mine so cold you see…

how could I not want to tear you down?

What did you give me from day one?

a frown.

Screw your entitled attitude

you’re a felon with a cause

blowing away other people’s confidence

instead of building yours

Go back to the 50’s

when women cooked and cleaned

and made babies

cuz you words spit verses

that carry on like hearses

but to your own funeral you ride

you make a cocktail

that could kill anyone’s insides…

you should be off the market

like a car with a catalytic recall

you acted available

but your brain was too screwed

to kick a ball

ruined your serotonin

with too many drug binges

held onto the pieces

but the puzzle never makes a picture

so you go to scripture

but the words never become clearer

cuz you keep takin’ your meds

takin’ the easy way out instead….

Did I look down

see an address on my chest?

Did you suddenly own me

and I became depressed?

Why yes I say I became a mess

your words cut through my skin

until I couldn’t care about my own flesh…

go back to the 50’s when women just popped out babies

cuz men like you end up in their own cages.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Smile Without a Cause

Your eyes reminded me of someone

now changed but once an awful man

he thought he could control his woman

but tying her up with verbal commands

but that man went crazy

brought a knife to a no gun fight

layers of rope and he broke

when he saw he lost his child’s hope

tore the world open

to expose all the lies

now he cries

knowing all that is left inside

is nothing but hate…

I try to create an image to replace

the horrible fate

he even had to contemplate

like there was a decision

when innocence exists

hold your child’s hands

cuz it might bring back the hope

a child’s eyes are like sun

and he rolled in the clouds

since someone had sinned…

But is the anger ok?

Maybe for one day

maybe for a month

but not for a year

how many tears dropped

to get to mars?

how could you walk away

instead of get rid of the scars?

Your eyes reminded me of someone

once above them

floating above the clouds looking down

now your mind is broken

all maimed inside

you want to know pain

take a peak in my head

most people would have given up

played fucking dead…

but I stray along with a smile on my face

nothing can break me

not you

not this

it already happened twenty years ago

when the summer left

along with my false bliss

but all i ever wanted

was someone to know

they can’t break me down

when I never had anywhere to go…

so I burn like a star

still bright but scarred.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

I Think I Died Right There

I think a part of me died right there

by the window

by the cold

with no arm around me with care

I looked at the trees

the sky, the moon

I promised myself there was more out there

then impending doom

the walls were closing

but the outside was always there

inviting me to run

into the forest without a care…

And I always stood there

waiting for a reason

waiting as the seasons

changed, my mind rearranged…

with each goodbye…

And I wept

not for myself

but for them

cuz’ no one every could quite comprehend

the things I saw

the things I felt

the feeling of having your own memory

scattered upon a belt

you wore everyday like the next fashion

but inside your carrying dead weight

and barely had your own proper ration….

And I think a part of me died right there….

there was no one to care…

I feel down hard

knocked my teeth

saw the blood

then was able to complete…

maybe a sentence or two

regain my imagination

the pain I endured

was annihilation

And I hope someday

I can get a proper ration

cuz my stomach is still hungry

beyond anyone’s comprehension.

————————————————————————————————–

It’s Time to Start Living

It’s time to start living…

stop staring at the fence

remove the barbwire

hop on over

and walk into the field

feel the meadow between your fingers

the rain upon your skin

and know it is better

than hate, anger, and pain…

I cut it out

like a wound that will always stay open

and everything I see

recreates a potion

in my brain

drives me insane

all I see is memories

but the objective is to gain

some kind of bliss

in the hell around my feet

some kind of heaven

like a flower in concrete

It is time to start living…

stop staring at the wall

and go around the block

wave to random people

but never talk a lot

stroll on by as if your headed to the park

then head right home

without a single stop..

cuz’ my eyes are like the sun

but my heart is like the moon

it comes alive at night

when darkness is in bloom

It likes to sing the same sad tune

to know it is still alive

not afraid to feel blue..

I cut it out…

the smell of fear

I realize there was really nothing there…

I was sunk into a reality that didn’t exist…

Our lips touched but I never felt the kiss…

You were a fallacy of manipulated bliss…

you’ll never know love

if it’s the created character they miss.

————————————————————————————-

Haunted

Every image I see is you

you haunt me

like a reoccurring thought

I just want to send straight down a gauntlet

And I may not be smart yet

but when our brains met

I was your ideal match

but suddenly im in a pen

with a door locked

trying to pretend

I can’t see anything

Everything I see is you

waiting to remind me of

this corkscrew

blowing lose inside my head

each day waking

not wanting to get out of bed

but I don’t think what you said

was ever true

cuz’ if it was I would still be with you

playing along to the same old song

denying who I was

about to become….

and I may only see you

but I won’t live in denial and debt

like you are so use to

so ride solo

and tread upon my memories

leave no trace behind

and go ahead erase me

because the kind of duel you fight

is unworthy of what could be.

—————————————————————-

He Really Thinks

He really thinks he will make it through

without a piece of you

He really thinks he’ll get you back

without some kind of attack

but stand up and state the fact

he never gave a fuck

about your mind staying intact

He never held you close

when you were cold

instead he left the window open

and ignore he heard

the chatter of your teeth

He never wanted to see you succeed

rather watch you fail and bleed

but the blood turned to a fine wine

aged from all the pent up rage

every word putting you in a cage

and in a one way conversation

he’d declare some kind of proclamation

some thought that’d make you doubt

everything you thought was real

then watch as you dismantle

blame you for how you feel…

He never held your hand

when you crossed the street

He never even held it

after you bought dinner

or fucking massaged your feet

but he’d ask you to prepare some meat

while he sits watching the same scene

of a movie he did yesterday

cuz his brain can’t remember the plot

it can’t even hit play…

then rewind…

——————————————————————–

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