Percosets Parody (I really hate that song honestly, it is so annoying! Haha! Some modern rap is written horribly. This is all for fun. <3)

Call it how it was

No Hendrix

I profess, I pledge, I pledge

I’m deaf

Barely spittle it

Yo

 

I gotta Getta pet, Motherfer’, gotta getta pet

Or a hobby, fool, or a hobby instead of perocets

Don’t go to the gym to rep the sets,

But chase chicks, never  chasin’ those checks

Fake on, screw it, now break em off

Fool on, screw it,  always chippin’ off

I gotta get a pet, or something, gotta getta pet

OR a hobby, fool, instead of these percosets…

Chase chicks dude, but never chase a check..

Don’t chase no check…

 

I only own two cups, and have no gang

On food stamps mother, and I have no real game..

Out the gutter, still living the same,

They complaining, half a million on the tab,

Drug corpses, I’m lookin’ like a fool,

Never graduated, GED overdue,

Pink E, I can never poo,

Please ask about me

I desperately want to stay relevant too,

Rick James, but no chains

Smoggy air, pollution causin’ confusion

Top off, that’s a possible lawsuit,

hit the office, boozin’ with adrenaline…

 

I gotta Getta pet, Motherfer’, gotta getta pet

Or a hobby, fool, or a hobby instead of perocets

Don’t go to the gym to rep the sets,

But chase chicks, never  chasin’ those checks

Fake on, screw it, now break em off

Fool on, screw it,  always chippin’ off

I gotta get a pet, or something, gotta getta pet

OR a hobby, fool, instead of these percosets…

Chase chicks dude, but never chase a check..

Don’t chase no check

 

Four door sedan, I drive anything

Buy my sedan, it’ll make you go insane

(OH my god, let it, let it is  be)

My gasoline, drank from a tube accidently

Don’t even ask, your tank now on E,

Punishment, can never find me

Party in Vegas, never up to me

The chick gotta pay for it, or leave me be,

She got prescriptions?  I be on a mission

Proposition, always check to see if its fake,

Hopin states, drive down, missing plates,

If cop pulls us over, ain’t no f’n way

I won’t flip out, cost myself major days,

Then rob a bank, end up in the same game,

And the game, same game, but I never really change…

 

I gotta Getta pet, Motherfer’, gotta getta pet

Or a hobby, fool, or a hobby instead of perocets

Don’t go to the gym to reppa, rep the sets,

But chase chicks, never chasin’ those checks

Fake on, screw it, now break off

Fool on, screw it,  always chippin’ em slowly off

I gotta get a pet, or something, gotta getta pet

OR a hobby, fool, instead of these percosets…

Chase chicks dude, but never chase a check..

Don’t chase no check…

 

Radiohead- “You’re a Cat and I’m a Weirdo”

When you were here before

Couldn’t let you inside

You had fleas crawling all over

and your skin broke out in hives

you scared me frequently

in your garbage can

I wish you just ate the food

But you’re so fucking skiddish

but you’re a cat

I’m a cat lady

What the hell am I suppose to do?

I can’t not feed you

I don’t care if it costs

I want to avoid animal control

I want a trap set

I want to see you grown

I want you to notice when I am helping

you’re so fucking dirty

I wish I could bathe you

but you’re a cat

I’m a cat lady

What the hell am I suppose to do?

I have to feed you…

Cat’s running out on the lawn

Cat’s running out

It runs runs runs

Whatever makes you purrr

Whatever you need

You’re so fucking skiddish

I wish I could catch you

But you’re a cat

I’m a catlady

What the hell am I doing out there?

Trying to save cats

Trying to save cats….

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

Comfortably Alone (Pink Floyd Cover)

Hello

is there any normal person out there?

just nod at me if you can see me

is there any boyfriend at home

No, come on now

I am feeling quite disposable

I can’t ease your guilt

Get you on your knees

Relax

I’ll need some verification first

from your gynecologist

Can you send me the results?

Hello,

Is there a normal person out there

Just nod at me if you can find me

Is there no love you aren’t receiving

And all you see is distant whores upon the horizon

They are only walking through the fakeness

Their lips move but they say nothing

When I was a child I thought girls were great

MY hands felt like they were waiting for friends

Now I wish they had fallen off

I can’t explain, your IQ is off

This is not a whiny response

I have become comfortable with loneliness 

O.K.
Just a little annoying  prick

There’ll be no more fake aaaahhhh!

But can you even take a little poke

Can you Take it?

I do believe it’s motivation that’s good

That’ll keep you comin back to hatred

Come on it’s time to settle down…

There is no love you aren’t receiving

A distant island upon the horizon

You are only coming if no drama

Your lips move but they speak nothing

When I was a child

I thought women were awesome

I caught a fleeting gimpse of what was wrong

Out of the perficial of my eye

I turned to look but she was gone to another lame guy

I cannot put my finger on why

The child is grown

The normal is gone

And I have become

Comfortable with loneliness.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

The Blame Blame Baby (Lady Gaga Cover)

I can’t help myself I’m addicted to the strife of

materials

It’s some kind of performance, I’m driven

to oppose the majority

All we care about is, greed, bmw’s,

and wine bottles

Give me something I can be, retro influenced

Hollywood yes we die for the

Fame

Doin’ it and it’s all for

Fame

Cuz we wanna die in the life of the sick and

the followed

Doin’ it for the deathly Game

Cuz everyone wants to live the life of the wealthy

and famous

Fame

Doin’ it for the

Blame

cuz we gotta drink the chardonnay and infinity

of fortune

Fame Fame maybe

The fame fame

We live for the blame blame baby

but we think it’s really fame fame

It’s a shame shame maybe

A blame game maybe

Isn’t it the same same baby

When it comes to fame flame baby

The fame fame….

I can see myself at the strip club with my

face in the neon lights

photographs in my mind and whatever on

the internet you find

All I care about is pornographic surprise

and fake handcuffs

Give me something, I wanna feel anything and

Nice blondes in all kinds of positions

Fame

doin’ it for the deathly game

Doin’ it but themselves

blame comes around

cuz we wanna live the life of the privileged and

blame

the poor….

fame
Fame
Doin’ it for the
game
Cuz we gotta taste the dick

and call it fortune…

Blame Blame baby

the blame blame

We live for the blame game baby

Isn’t if a guilt trip baby

A shame shame baby

in It for the money money baby

but really get the blame blame

Don’t ask me when and where

but I’m gonna get somewhere then nowhere

It will be my worst fucking nightmare

Don’t ask me how I got here

But I’m gonna make it to nowhere

My worst f’n nightmare

Don’t ask me how or why

But I’m gonna make it with all my assets tonight….

Yeah I’m gonna make it alright….

Blame!

Blame!

Doin’ it for the blame!

Cuz’ we wanna live the life of the insane and

don’t blame us

Blame

Doin’ it for the

insane Cuz we gotta drink the best wine and endless

keg of fortune

——————————————————————————————————————————-

My Cats (My Girl Cover)

I’ve got friskies on a nice plate

When it’s cold outside I’ve got the cats all day

I guess you’d say

What can make me the crazy cat lady?

My cats, my cats, my cats

Pettin’ all my cats, my cats

I’ve got so much litter my gas points are envied

I’ve got a robot laser light so they can play without me.

Well, I guess you’d say
What can make me the crazy cat lady?

My cats, my cats, my cats

Pettin’ all my cats, my cats

Meow Meow Meow

Meow Meow Meow
Ooooh.

I don’t need no dog, horse, or fish

I’ve got all the kitties, baby, one woman can miss.

Well, I guess you’d say
What can make me a crazy cat lady?
My cats, my cats, my cats

Pettin’ all my cats, my cats.

I’ve got catnip on a boring day

With my cats.

I’ve even got the shots done in May

With my vet

Talkin’ bout

Talkin’ bout

Talkin’ bout

My cats

oooohhh

My cats

As long as I live I will talk about my cats….

——————————————————————————————————————————–

Scurry With your Nuts (Funny Rap)

I’m gonna pin those pants to your crack

so they can’t hang expose what you lack

cuz’ you make everyone nervous

hold their purse

since you look like

you should be in a Hurst

you move so fast

but your brain is slow

it dreams but has nowhere to go

the clouds are barriers in your mind

not a pillow you can use to climb

up to the sun

and you took all the fun

out of party before you arrived

then blamed everyone else left inside

walkin’ down the street drunk trying to have a conversation

but even your friend doesn’t talk to avoid escalation

you sound like a spoiled punk

who didn’t get his daddy to pay him

for doing

nothing…

Sometimes you look in the mirror

your buttons up but really their down

your smile is there but really its a frown

shirt is clean but your hair looks like a clown

you got your mirrors dirty

so clean that shit and hurry

cuz’ she won’t wait

she’ll scurry

like a squirrel

with your nuts

I’m gonna take that beer chip back

cuz’ you don’t need another one

you got yours all intact

but your life reenacts

every step to the bar as if it is your past

the morning ruined when you realize you wasted cash

living in the left lane you’re going too fast

can’t slow down until you pass

that guy with everything you lack

but you always take step back

cuz the shoe is on your foot fool

don’t act like others don’t play you cool

maybe they know the jokes on you

maybe they feel some sympathy too

but kindness isn’t weakness

unless you see through the eyes of the unkind

so push play and not rewind….

Sometimes you look in the mirror

your buttons up but really their down

your smile is there but really its a frown

shirt is clean but your hair looks like a clown

you got your mirrors dirty

so clean that shit and hurry

cuz’ she won’t wait

she’ll scurry

like a squirrel

with your nuts

——————————————————————————————

Your Class is Like Glass; Easily Breakable

Young men want to step

to me through puddles

like they can afford waterproof boots

but they got the imitation kind

the water goes all inside

and they think they can steal mine

tell me they’ll give em back

but shortly after

time runs out and

it’s more than the boots and socks

it’s about all he mocks…

about other people like himself

thinks he’s so game

but really he’s insane

cuz he thinks other people are to blame

doesn’t want to grow up

admit life is lame

with wet socks

if you can have her dry ones…

but you need to…

get your own

and live without a bone

thrown to you every time

you’re hungry…

you gotta starve.

Your class left your soul

like broken glass

so bring your trash over

pick up every piece until the last

Older men want to step

like they want some babies

let’s have a conversation

then get down to the business

papers

cuz I need a wife

cuz I am tired

of cleaning alone

being nice

to whores for a bone…

I need a full time woman

who cooks and does my laundry…

but I want her to work

then come home, take care of me fondly…

but then there’s an army

holding grudges while she folds your laundry

cuz’ how do you expect her to mend

everything that’s broken

when you can’t comprehend

you created a situation

out of a false idea of man..

cuz you’re just a little boy

Your class left your soul

like broken glass

so bring your trash over

pick up every piece until the last

so it doesn’t come back

like your past

to repeat itself

like concrete

it bonds to itself

until there is crack

no one can deny seeing.

———————————————————————————————————–

You Got 9,000,000 Facebook Friends But They Ain’t Real Ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

Cuz’ I only got 99 Facebook friends

but I know they ain’t real ones

 

I got the spat patrol like a cat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my mouths closed

Critics say she’s “Money, cats, clothes”

I’m from the country stupid

where only the real facts are disclosed

If you grew up with no laces in your zapatos

You’d party the minute you had some cash flow

I’m like f haters you can’t kiss any of my lips

If you don’t like my lyrics

you can laugh at yourself cuz’ you never hit this…

Got beef with many If I don’t play the game

but maybe they don’t play my level,

all one in the same

Some haters try and act like they have game

So I can be their sugar mama cash h*e…Suckas

I don’t know why you are taking me here

you can’t afford one beer

I’m from bad to better playa

I ain’t dumb

I got 99 Facebook friends & they ain’t even real ones….

Just hit me…

and get it over with.

99 Facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

Cuz’ I only got 99 Facebook friends but..

At least I know they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

And get it over with.

The year is 2014 and my truck is full

in my rear view mirror is a benz

I got two choices ya’ll

keep driving or slow down the car some more

Now I ain’t trying to stick no gun out the door

but I got a few bullets up my sleeves galore

So I pull over cuz’ he’s on the side of the road

And I heard…”Girl, you better stay on the other side of that door!”

Cause’ this guys young and he’s ready to blow

and I think I know body language,

maybe, I don’t know?

Am I ready to go? or should I stay some mo’?

Well I was doing fifty five and the sucker was going 94

Thought it was a cop on the back road

until I saw him riding my bumper all the way to my dashboard

I ain’t steppin out to see my deathbed

Ain’t kickin’ it when it’s down either

just lettin’ it stay inside my head

Enjoy a few last moments of heat

before I hopefully go to bed

cuz’ I’d rather call him a policy

when he hits me….

then I get all the insurance money….Ooo…

99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

Cuz I only got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

get it over with.

Now once upon a time very long ago

A chica like me had a strong arm and a hoe

not a hoe in the sense of whore

but a hoe digging up land in order to grow

I tried to stay there and continue to mow

Pray for sunlight, but some fools just love the rain

You know the type who keep their socks always stained

won’t even change, don’t even fret

the only thing that’s gonna happen,

Their feet will get more wet 

keep trappin’ the crayfish cause they be like gold

And there I go back to the creek, never gonna fold

cuz it’s back through the forest with cliffs galore

While my fake friends stay at home, pop some lame a** corn

watch their tv sets, then later switch to p**n

Cuz’ Paparazzi’s got the camera on all the pretty faces

until the D.A. Comes in tells em their wasted cases

half-a-mil for nothing but a body that’s fit 

All because some fool wanted his man handle lit

And she’s trying to play the man like he cares

but there ain’t nothing sweet about his guilty nightmares…

I got 99 Facebook friends but they ain’t real ones…

if you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son…

I got 99 Facebook friend but at least I know they ain’t real ones…

just hit me…

and get it over with.

———————————————————————————————————————————–

I Honestly Hate You (I Honestly Love you cover)

 

I hate you

I honestly blame you

You don’t have the answer

I can see it  in your eyes

Maybe I was better off left for dead

this is plain and simple

And you shouldn’t rationalize

it’s coming from my head and not my heart….

 

I hate you…

I honestly blame you…

I am attempting to make you feel uncomfortable

I am trying to make you see what you’ve become

but this feeling comes along everyday

you bombed the getaway car and can’t run

 

I hate you…

I honestly blame you…

If we were both on an island

in another time and a cage

this moment might end in a fist

and there you’d be with your knife

And here I am with a gun

So I guess we’ll assume who won…

I hate you

I honestly hate you

I honestly hate you..

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Spare Me (Hold Me by Weezer Cover)

 

I am terrified of shellfish

frightened of the park at dark

I was….

you were crazier than I expected…

cut deeper than a fish…

You are.

Spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me like trash cause’ your phony…

I was happier with you past when..

I wasn’t angry…

I was.

You are becoming what you hate in me..

Why don’t you go to therapy?

Spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me without you cause’

you’re crazy…

I am..

I am…

numb.

Spare me.

Spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me without you cause’ i’ll be happy

Spare me.

Spare me.

Leave me or I’ll get a taxi.

——————————————————————————————————————–

You’re Down Mofo

You’re down mofo

like a yo yo

ready to be brought up again

by someone else’s downfall

you create illusions in minds

then when its time

to fess up

it’s all them

not you

It’s sad you wear armor

but battle your own mind

and in return it create a bind

to no one

You wasted months

but I’d rather not have it be years

of judgment upon my ways

that were engaged by the cold world

left me outside with sleeves too short

outgrown my jacket like I did you

and you may have had the first laugh

but mine will be the last.

———————————————————————————————

He Holds Ground Beef Like It’s Filet Mignon 

 

He holds a heart

all mangled up

like ground beef

but serves it like filet mignon

hopes you’re so tired you play along

hoping you’ll just sing the same song

create a different dance…

but you tend to glance

over at the people having more fun…

At first

you do

you take it all in

and through you

then repeat, repeat, repeat…

until your heart is like his

all beat…

mangled…

unable to complete..

a thought without it angled

in perfect tune

with his erratic brain waves

And he holds his hand

as if its not his own

He holds his head

as if his neck has one bone…

He holds up the sky

as if he created it…

then sails the sea

as if he put the water in it…

but he will learn

we are all creatures of a storm

trickling to our hearts

there can be an over pour

of crimson proportions

and we all must face our demons

to endure a kiss

that’s worthy of love

pure bliss…

——————————————————————————————————

I Have The Beat

Well, you don’t care..

I guess that’s fair…

I’ll just sit over here

bobbing my head to the rhythm of life…

with my own breasts as the toms

my feet as the bass pedals

my hair looking like the sticks

my heart playing out all it once resists…

I always felt the beat of my own drum

the problem is there is no one

who can complete my rhyme

echo my brain waves

through space and time…

Well, you don’t care

I guess that’s fair

I’ll just stare

at the sun for too long

until my blindness I can see through…

my sunglasses on right

my laces all tight

ready to sprint out all this strife…

I always felt the beat of my own drum

the problem is there is no one

who doesn’t need an explanation for my mind

maybe I should have been born to a new dimension

ahead of this time….

———————————————————————————————————

A Different Planet

I wish we lived on a different planet

not so we could be left alone

leave the cold world shivering in their bones

but so I could take you out like hunger games

avenge all the girls you maim

tape your mouth shut so you’re unable to cause anymore pain

turn you into a man ape

cuz’ even that would be better than the false cape

you were like a hero

but really your below zero

cuz your heart stopped beating

so instead you were just needing

other people to shame

so you could not find yourself to blame…

Sucka

you lost

not me

you created your fallacy

from the beginning

then expect me to complete the duo

when we both were screwed yo

I wish we lived on a different planet

no so I could just hear only your voice

cuz’ mine would be there too

and I have a feeling you’d hush me

condemn me if I flee

condemn me if I stay

made the blue clouds turn grey

put me face in the dirt

then yell if I claim to be hurt

but I’d hike the mountain faster

just to get the canister

smoke you out

so I could be alone….

Sucka

you lost

not me

you created a fallacy

then couldn’t uphold it

and see

your own foolish doin

so when you get to the conclusion

you aren’t a saint

send you baggage on packin’

down to the lake.

———————————————————————————————————————————

Who Told You Who I Am?

Who told you who I am?

how can they speak for me when they can’t even speak like a human?

You come at me like a bull in heat

desperate for a person to be able to complete

your next sentence like it’s the f****g movies

but hate to break it to you this is reality…

you don’t maim who you love

you don’t break someone down

unless you want them to run off

with a better clown….

who could actually be funny.

 

I hate the way your lips move

but cannot rhyme

you have no talents

you waste all your focus and time

cuz’ you’re so blind

to your own self perpetuated bind

running out of your veins

out your nose

then onto your face

drugs all over the place

and now your teeth are even rotted out of your face

you a man?

I think you’ll need another toothbrush…

And I am not speaking about all you men

cuz some of you have game

you can run in other people’s face

and the truth you can claim

but some of you should take the advertisement down

cuz’ you look like trash with that broken frown

Claiming people told you who I am…

 

Who told you who I am?

how can they speak for me when they can’t speak like a human?

you came at me like a pilot without a plane

you acted all pimp without the cane

I wish I saw the stars in your eyes

were just reflections of the street lights

cuz the way you lit that cig

could make any heart want to stop…

 

Who told you who I am?

how can they speak for me when they can’t speak like a intelligent human?

How do you even know me when you were always in command?

A person always creating a war is never able to stand.

————————————————————————————————————————–

Wipe The Tears Up

You better wipe those tears up

cuz when I was wakin’ up

you told me to get out of your bed

instead of actin’ like a lover

you acted like i was an intruder instead

pushed me to the ground

made me protect my head

bruises on my knees.

 

But it could have been worse if I stayed in bed

Could have ended up in a hearse instead

so i say please

don’t bring me back there ever again

false self perpetuated judgments

can clouds your head

What person screwed you over

to make all the love into lead?

what completed the cycle

was it me or you with the gun beside your bed?

 

Screw your fallacy

I grew up tired and weary

my eyes hurting from crying out too much in fury

you think that makes it okay to turn my skies so dreary?

negativity brings negativity but you can’t even hear me…

So I quiet my voice all nice

cook you dinner more than twice

make your rum and coke so you can sleep at night

while it’s the same poison preventing you from taking flight…

 

I hope you crash and burn

cuz’ it might be what it takes

you can’t introspect enough

cuz you think your fate

was done from the beginning

a card game with no winning

but get your head out of the past

and onto less sinning….

wipe your own tears up

get a nice mop

cuz every drop brings another

And it just keeps raining now inside

your head is full of delusions

you stay locked up and hide…

I feel sorry for you

but I was always there before

sometimes you have no choice but to break down a door

and I could have been waiting for you on the other side

with a mountain of pride on a distant shore, hatred aside

but you chose to believe in your own fabricated lies

chose to watch the sunset instead of the sunrise.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Say Something, I’m Just a Whiny Poo