Allergic to Shellfish on Christmas

Kinda funny. I was eating pasta last night as the family gathered. After a few minutes I realize the calamari is in the sauce. Big problem. I start getting crampy, thinking maybe I just need to poop. Nope, it isn’t even digesting right so i am way far ahead of the process haha. First comes the headache, then the feeling of a lump of coal in my tummy, and then the hot and cold issues start. Finally my gut lets it all out and it looks almost like I vomited a bunch of Christmas decorations. I start laughing like a crazy person because who would have thought this would happen on Christmas Eve. I managed to stay away from foods like this the entire year but yeah haha encountered it on the Holiday. Finally trying to fall asleep at 3 am, shaking like a baby in the fetal position because I am cold. Then it happens. My cats one by one circle around me as if instinctively trying to keep me warm. I am kinda whimpering like a baby and Juan the cat no joke puts her paw over my mouth. I don’t know whether she was trying to shut me up or maybe she was trying to calm me down. Either way it was quite amusing.  I think it is beautiful really though how animals can adapt so well to one person it almost is as if words become nothing. They look at you, you look at them, you know when its play time or when it is time to cuddle up and nap. Their eyes speak volumes and remind me love can exist without words.


Cats, Cats, Cats

Cats I love you…I love you all

hehehe, hehehe, for reals

I love cats, cats, cats, cats…

cats I do adore…

so get your rabies vaccination

cuz I’d love to take ya…

Pet cha when I get off work, yeah.

I got this Juanita, she doesn’t like to roam

so she calls me mamacita de la comida

Meows when she sees me come home

I’m like, “un momento” – Juanita, slow up your appetite

I got this tiger cat, he doesn’t know how to act

Always running under the bed, about to snap

He’s like, “Listen I have anxiety, I don’t care you betta step back

You better respect the social skills I lack.”

I got this needy cat that loves to stick out his hip

He thinks he’s Elijah Minnelli, and likes to flip

My little cutie can be hell

but then turn around all bipolar and have mercy as well.

Have mercy, you cute as fuck but you givin’ me work

I got this calico cat the day I met her

Asked her where her owner was, but let her sit on the leather

She meowed all you need to know is I’m not owned

And to have me you better have the vet phoned

Now that’s a calico, tiger, black, and brown

That’s turkey n giblets, temptations, damn getting’ fat

Now some arroz con pollo, cat chow, or I get all frowns

I love…


I love cats, cats, cats, cats…

cats I do adore…

so get your rabies vaccination

cuz I’d love to take ya…

Pet cha when I get off work, yeah….

I love cats, cats, cats, cats

cats all over the globe

I come scoop you from that parking lot , you all skiddish on the floor

Fix your furs in the groomers, let’s roll…c’mon


I got this young cat, she’s so lazy

She like, “Why don’t you buy me treats no more?”

Like to whine and moan, and roll all over the floor

All up in my dollars, just to get some more…

Got a barn cat, that plays all day

And if it gets bored he will just lay

Got a grown cat been with me from the start

Not always affectionate but has a good heart….

I had this other cat that reminded me of him

but he is no longer around now cuz a car hit his limb…

God damn it’s sad but he went in the street all the time

Got frequent runovers like this left our hearts in a bind

but he looks from heaven wearing a crown

king of the road but never coming back down….

So I had to create a cat family

Now that’s a lot of food, litter, and shots

That means I go to the vet a lot, but at least I know her

That’s means I’m a animal lover, pets cats, and stay inside

but I never have a problem coming home cuz….

I love….

cats, cats, cats, cats

cats, I do adore.