99 Facebook Friends but they Ain’t Real Ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

I got the spat patrol like a cat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my mouths closed

Critics say she’s “Money cats clothes”

I’m from the country stupid where facts are disclosed

If you grew up with no laces in your zapatos

You’d party the minute you had some cash flow

I’m like fuck haters you can kiss my whole lips

If you don’t like my lyrics you can laugh and kiss this

Got beef with many If I don’t play the game

but they don’t play my level, one in the same

Some haters try and use my nice ass

So I can be their sugar mama over cash…fuckers

I don’t know why you are taking me here

you can’t afford one beer

I’m from bad to better playa I ain’t dumb

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones….

Just hit me…

and get it over with.

99 facebook friend but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

get it over with.


The year is 2014 and my truck is full

in my rear view mirror is a benz

I got two choices yall keep driving or

slow down the car some more

Now I ain’t trying to stick no gun out the door

but I got a few bullets galore

So I pull over cuz’ he’s on the side of the road

And I heard…”Girl, you better stay on the other side of the door!”

Cause’ this guys young and he’s ready to blow

and I think I know body language, maybe I don’t know

Am I ready to go or should I stay some mo’?

Well I was doing fifty five and the sucker was going 94

Thought it was a cop on the back road

until I saw him riding my bumper to my dashboard

I ain’t steppin out to see me on my deathbed

Ain’t kickin’ it when it’s down either

just lettin’ it inside my head

Enjoy a few last moments of heat

before I go to bed

cuz’ I’d rather call him a policy

cuz when humans hit me….

then I get the insurance money….

99 facebook friend but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

get it over with.

Now once upon a time very long ago

A chica like me had a strong arm and a hoe

not a hoe in the sense of whore

but a hoe digging up land in order to grow

I tried to stay there and continue to mow

Pray for sunlight, but some fools just love the rain

You know the type where your socks are stained

but you won’t change your socks cause you don’t fret

the only thing that’s gonna happen, my feet get more wet 

While I keep trappin’ the crayfish cause their like gold

And there I go back to the creek, don’t fold

cuz it’s back through the forest with cliffs galore

While my fake friends stay at home pop some corn

watch their tv sets, then later switch to porn

Cuz’ Paparazzi’s got the camera on all the pretty faces

until the D.A. Comes in tells em their wasted cases

half-a-mil for nothing but a body that’s fit 

All because some fool wanted his man candle lit

And she’s trying to play the man like he cares

but there ain’t nothing sweet about his nightmares

and just like him…

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones…

if you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son…

just hit me…

and get it over with.

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Cats, Cats, Cats

Cats I love you…I love you all

hehehe, hehehe, for reals

I love cats, cats, cats, cats…

cats I do adore…

so get your rabies vaccination

cuz I’d love to take ya…

Pet cha when I get off work, yeah.

I got this Juanita, she doesn’t like to roam

so she calls me mamacita de la comida

Meows when she sees me come home

I’m like, “un momento” – Juanita, slow up your appetite

I got this tiger cat, he doesn’t know how to act

Always running under the bed, about to snap

He’s like, “Listen I have anxiety, I don’t care you betta step back

You better respect the social skills I lack.”

I got this needy cat that loves to stick out his hip

He thinks he’s Elijah Minnelli, and likes to flip

My little cutie can be hell

but then turn around all bipolar and have mercy as well.


Have mercy, you cute as fuck but you givin’ me work

I got this calico cat the day I met her

Asked her where her owner was, but let her sit on the leather

She meowed all you need to know is I’m not owned

And to have me you better have the vet phoned

Now that’s a calico, tiger, black, and brown

That’s turkey n giblets, temptations, damn getting’ fat

Now some arroz con pollo, cat chow, or I get all frowns

I love…

 

I love cats, cats, cats, cats…

cats I do adore…

so get your rabies vaccination

cuz I’d love to take ya…

Pet cha when I get off work, yeah….

I love cats, cats, cats, cats

cats all over the globe

I come scoop you from that parking lot , you all skiddish on the floor

Fix your furs in the groomers, let’s roll…c’mon

 

I got this young cat, she’s so lazy

She like, “Why don’t you buy me treats no more?”

Like to whine and moan, and roll all over the floor

All up in my dollars, just to get some more…

Got a barn cat, that plays all day

And if it gets bored he will just lay

Got a grown cat been with me from the start

Not always affectionate but has a good heart….

I had this other cat that reminded me of him

but he is no longer around now cuz a car hit his limb…

God damn it’s sad but he went in the street all the time

Got frequent runovers like this left our hearts in a bind

but he looks from heaven wearing a crown

king of the road but never coming back down….

So I had to create a cat family

Now that’s a lot of food, litter, and shots

That means I go to the vet a lot, but at least I know her

That’s means I’m a animal lover, pets cats, and stay inside

but I never have a problem coming home cuz….

I love….

cats, cats, cats, cats

cats, I do adore.