Some Sugar

I’m gonna

Slap that bottom lip

into your nostrils

cuz’ your nose is so high

I cannot see the top of it

or maybe its because

I am too short…

Either way,

It isn’t looking good…..

for you…

but I love me….

so here’s a little rap for thee…

since he’s got all the partridges in the mother-fn tree…

I say

give me some sugar

something nice and sweet

give me a little icing upon my cheek

but your not thinking of a cupcake

just like me….

you’re still thinking of somethin’ else

cuz’ it’s all about thee

not me

I sit around all fake and merry

playing betty crocker

but I am wishing I was a fairy

so I could fly the fuck

outta this town

where none of you can judge me…

cuz’ I’m all smiling

laying jokes

while you all bitch around me…

trying to take my sun

but the problem is

I embrace the moon

and the rhythm of my heart

doesn’t always

skip to the same damn tune….

I say

give me some sugar

something nice and sweet

give me a little icing upon my cheek

but your not thinking of a cupcake

just like me….

you’re still thinking of somethin’ else

cuz’ it’s all about thee

not me, never me…

I’m gonna make you

drown in your own ego

I’m gonna make you frown

until your need slows…

cuz’ you have a big head

and a small neck

there are references to it

a thousand years back

but apparently you didn’t get the memo

it wasn’t forwarded to your inbox

it was on a piece of paper

but to you reading

is like fort Knox..

oh, you’re so intellectual

yet your brain feels  so locked….

oh, you’re so confident….

yet you have to rip someone else apart..

I saw Shawshank Redemption

and you’re not so smart….

I saw where you came from…

and it wasn’t like a fine piece of art…

and I know it was then not now

but you cannot fully forget your past

without losing your sight of your future somehow…

both go hand in hand

like water is to air…

to avoid one or the other

leads everyone to despair…

so don’t forget the ones who always cared…

let the ego drop

on down by your side

take that pride and shove it all inside…

you have nothing to prove

we all have told the truth and lied….

so give me some sugar…

somethin’ sweet.

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You Were Nothing Like Me

You were nothing like me

like God created women and man

you created me out of the epitome

of your own sorrow

so you could borrow

my soul

only to leave it blackened

but still burning like a pile of cinders

beneath your feet

you will drop down to your knees

as the sparks fly into the sky

and away from the lie

you created out of yourself…

There is no way to extinguish

my pain

the memories will become clearer

as I gain

a kind of sanity

you blocked from my reality

the time lost

will become well spent

cuz’ never will I repent my sins

to a man who avoids his….

never will I give my soul

to a man who cannot give his…

never will I bind myself up

and not call it was it is…

a game of betrayal…

with a unsincere kiss.

Enlightenment

He sips his drink…the cigarette meets the end of his fingers yet he has no idea it has reached the filter. Just like his life, he cannot shake it is the end of the smoke, for it cleared already and the pain he feels is of his own making. Hold the cigarette tightly, then light, then puff, then put it out. Just like life it must have a course of action. It must be attended to or else it will sting. The same conclusion will happen with no action over and over again until there is nothing left but burned fingertips. Light, puff, then put it out. Please for the sake of your own sanity put it out. Don’t fall into the abyss like so many others for it is easier to give up then it is to continue to go straight. And how can you love someone who doesn’t love themselves? How can you breath their last breath for them? You can’t. You can only sit and watch the pain they self inflict upon themselves as well as you for caring. I may care too late sometimes but forgive me if there is a god for I have lived in fear and it is all I have known. But I am tired of excuses. I am tired of this life full of fear, shame, avoidance, and guilt. I don’t expect anyone to save me from it when they cannot save themselves.We all have turmoil. Some hide it well, others display it on a platter for the world to see. I don’t care anymore if  my makeup isn’t done, my clothes don’t match, my heart is in the right place. I ask if there is a superior being to help me achieve some kind of enlightenment for it has been too long fighting the negative forces around me. I see where I went wrong, I see where others go wrong, I try to help them and myself but really all that matters is what energy I expel. I hold onto my own hand as if it is the last time I will feel my pulse in my wrist for tomorrow is unknown. Life is beautiful enough, and I hope someday I can feel as if I don’t have to speak any words to someone, just feel their embrace and know all the pain was worth it. I love too much, lost too much, but live no regrets for regrets do nothing but hold the spirit down.

Realization

He stares into the night as if the road isn’t there anymore. He is driving but he appears to be floating mentally above the clouds, placing himself so high no one can catch up. Not even the pope, an oracle, Einstein, Dali, or any brilliantly crafted person could reach him. He chooses to be lost. There is the road but it goes back around in circles, creating a diversion even the strongest person could fall into. I have seen those eyes before, saddened, beat down, and fallin’ like the sword of a samurai. I don’t know when your eyes lost their color but I wish they could be restored the brightest color possible. I try to figure out all the triggers but so many exist it is nearly impossible to sustain some kind of bliss. Your mouth moves like a poem then a dagger. I blame myself but there is no way all your pain was caused by just me, you barely knew who I was. Perhaps, you could not see all your pain eventually manifested in me, like a ghost haunting a soul so I became the warrior. Left with scars, empty eggshells I once cracked to make you breakfast, I hold onto the thought the scars and eggshells will eventually just be nothing more than what they are.They will no longer remind me of suffering but of sacrifice. To change, is to sacrifice a part of yourself you no longer can be at harmony with. You were the part of myself I let go. You are a reminder pain exists but should never be laid upon another soul, already lifeless, already bruised, already out of battle. I may not be perfect but my god I have sustained myself through the impossible of times, and deserve a heart not secured by cast iron. I am too tired to peal back the layers of what is to find what was in someone. I am too broken to trust a world of creatures who move calculated rather than spirited. I will adore those who remain true and ignore those who chose a lie.

He Holds

He holds a heart

all mangled up

like ground beef

but serves it like filet mignon

hopes you’re so tired you play along

hoping you’ll just sing the same song

create a different dance…

but you tend to glance

over at the people having more fun…

At first

you do

you take it all in

and through you

then repeat, repeat, repeat…

until your heart is like his

all beat…

mangled…

unable to complete..

a thought without it angled

in perfect tune

with his erratic brain waves

 

And he holds his hand

as if its not his own

He holds his head

as if his neck has one bone…

He holds up the sky

as if he created it…

then sails the sea

as if he put the water in it…

but he will learn

we are all creatures of a storm

trickling to our hearts

there can be an over pour

of crimson proportions

and we all must face our demons

to endure a kiss

that’s worthy of love

pure bliss…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA 29415_398297285828_1421099_n 18759_228812590828_7817970_n

Kiss the Fangs

I feel like a child lost in the world with a ton of beasts, fangs ready to suck the imagination out of me. So much money, time, patience wasted upon the wrong people. There are no boundaries for them. They will say and do whatever you please but when you think about it the motive is unclear? Such a world of leeches. They take a beautiful lake and turn it into a swamp. It must be sad in theirs minds. I must admit I love little and hate more. But is that normal in American society? I feel a decline has began on a personal level as well as political level. People will now lie, cheat, and steal in order to achieve the american dream.. I lie awake at night with thoughts of a world in chaos. All around me is fire, my precious land I worked so hard to sustain now cinders beneath me. Do you see it coming? A change needs to be made. A rise of those tired working hands and praise for those who give their lives to this country; the working class. No praise for those gluttonous creatures who prey upon inequality as a means of financial gain. Thank you.