99 Facebook Friends but they Ain’t Real Ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

I got the spat patrol like a cat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my mouths closed

Critics say she’s “Money cats clothes”

I’m from the country stupid where facts are disclosed

If you grew up with no laces in your zapatos

You’d party the minute you had some cash flow

I’m like fuck haters you can kiss my whole lips

If you don’t like my lyrics you can laugh and kiss this

Got beef with many If I don’t play the game

but they don’t play my level, one in the same

Some haters try and use my nice ass

So I can be their sugar mama over cash…fuckers

I don’t know why you are taking me here

you can’t afford one beer

I’m from bad to better playa I ain’t dumb

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones….

Just hit me…

and get it over with.

99 facebook friend but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

get it over with.


The year is 2014 and my truck is full

in my rear view mirror is a benz

I got two choices yall keep driving or

slow down the car some more

Now I ain’t trying to stick no gun out the door

but I got a few bullets galore

So I pull over cuz’ he’s on the side of the road

And I heard…”Girl, you better stay on the other side of the door!”

Cause’ this guys young and he’s ready to blow

and I think I know body language, maybe I don’t know

Am I ready to go or should I stay some mo’?

Well I was doing fifty five and the sucker was going 94

Thought it was a cop on the back road

until I saw him riding my bumper to my dashboard

I ain’t steppin out to see me on my deathbed

Ain’t kickin’ it when it’s down either

just lettin’ it inside my head

Enjoy a few last moments of heat

before I go to bed

cuz’ I’d rather call him a policy

cuz when humans hit me….

then I get the insurance money….

99 facebook friend but they ain’t real ones

If you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones

wish they’d just hit me

get it over with.

Now once upon a time very long ago

A chica like me had a strong arm and a hoe

not a hoe in the sense of whore

but a hoe digging up land in order to grow

I tried to stay there and continue to mow

Pray for sunlight, but some fools just love the rain

You know the type where your socks are stained

but you won’t change your socks cause you don’t fret

the only thing that’s gonna happen, my feet get more wet 

While I keep trappin’ the crayfish cause their like gold

And there I go back to the creek, don’t fold

cuz it’s back through the forest with cliffs galore

While my fake friends stay at home pop some corn

watch their tv sets, then later switch to porn

Cuz’ Paparazzi’s got the camera on all the pretty faces

until the D.A. Comes in tells em their wasted cases

half-a-mil for nothing but a body that’s fit 

All because some fool wanted his man candle lit

And she’s trying to play the man like he cares

but there ain’t nothing sweet about his nightmares

and just like him…

I got 99 facebook friends but they ain’t real ones…

if you’re having friend problems I feel bad for you son…

just hit me…

and get it over with.

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The Blame Blame Baby (Lady Gaga Parody)

I can’t help myself I’m addicted to the strife of

materials

It’s some kind of performance, I’m driven

to oppose the majority

All we care about is, greed, bmw’s,

and wine bottles

Give me something I can be, retro influenced

Hollywood yes we die for the

Fame

Doin’ it and it’s all for

Fame

Cuz we wanna die in the life of the sick and

the followed

Doin’ it for the deathly Game

Cuz everyone wants to live the life of the wealthy

and famous

Fame

Doin’ it for the

Blame

cuz we gotta drink the chardonnay and infinity

of fortune

Fame Fame maybe

The fame fame

We live for the blame blame baby

but we think it’s really fame fame

It’s a shame shame maybe

A blame game maybe

Isn’t it the same same baby

When it comes to fame flame baby

The fame fame….

I can see myself at the strip club with my

face in the neon lights

photographs in my mind and whatever on

the internet you find

All I care about is pornographic surprise

and fake handcuffs

Give me something, I wanna feel anything and

Nice blondes in all kinds of positions

Fame

doin’ it for the deathly game

Doin’ it but themselves

blame comes around

cuz we wanna live the life of the privileged and

blame

the poor….

fame
Fame
Doin’ it for the
game
Cuz we gotta taste the dick

and call it fortune…

Blame Blame baby

the blame blame

We live for the blame game baby

Isn’t if a guilt trip baby

A shame shame baby

in It for the money money baby

but really get the blame blame

Don’t ask me when and where

but I’m gonna get somewhere then nowhere

It will be my worst fucking nightmare

Don’t ask me how I got here

But I’m gonna make it to nowhere

My worst f’n nightmare

Don’t ask me how or why

But I’m gonna make it with all my assets tonight….

Yeah I’m gonna make it alright….


Blame!

Blame!

Doin’ it for the blame!

Cuz’ we wanna live the life of the insane and

don’t blame us

Blame

Doin’ it for the

insane Cuz we gotta drink the best wine and endless

keg of fortune

Comfortable Flickin’ (Pink Floyd Cover)

Hello,

is there any whore out there

just nod at me if you can see me

is there any boyfriend at home

Come on now

I hear you’re feeling disposable

I can ease your guilt

And get you on your knees

Relax

I’ll need some verification first

from your gynecologist

Can you send me the results?

Hello,

Is there not a whore out there

Just nod at me if you can find me

Is there no dick you aren’t receiving

A distant whore upon the horizon

You are only cumming through the fakeness

Your lips move but they say nothing

When I was a child I thought girls were great

MY hands felt like they were waiting

Now I wish they had fallen off

I can’t explain, your IQ is off

This is not a dickhead response

I have become comfortable with masturbation

O.K.
Just alittle dick prick

There’ll be no more fake aaaahhhh!

But can you feel a little poke

Can you Take it?

I do believe it’s motion that’s good

That’ll keep you comin back for more

Come on it’s time to settle down…

There is no dick you aren’t receiving

A distant whore upon the whorizon

You are only cumming throuh fake moans

Your lips moves but they speak nothing

When I was a child

I thought women were awesome

I caught a fleeting gimpse of what was wrong

Out of the perficial of my eye

I turned to look but she was gone to another guy

I cannot put my finger on why

The child is grown

The whore is gone

And I have become

Comfortable with Flickin’.

You’re a Cat and I’m a Weirdo (Radiohead Parody)

When you were here before

Couldn’t let you inside

You had fleas crawling all over

and your skin broke out in hives

you scared me frequently

in your garbage can

I wish you just ate the food

But you’re so fucking skiddish

 

but you’re a cat

I’m a cat lady

What the hell am I suppose to do?

I can’t not feed you

 

I don’t care if it costs

I want to avoid animal control

I want a trap set

I want to see you grown

I want you to notice when I am helping

you’re so fucking dirty

I wish I could bathe you

 

but you’re a cat

I’m a cat lady

What the hell am I suppose to do?

I have to feed you…

Cat’s running out on the lawn

Cat’s running out

It runs runs runs

 

Whatever makes you purrr

Whatever you need

You’re so fucking skiddish

I wish I could catch you
But you’re a cat

I’m a catlady

What the hell am I doing out there?

Trying to save cats

Trying to save cats….