poetry

You Won’t Meet the Past Again

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I hope you are happy now

I hope you can make it alone

Every woman that tried to love you

Is out in the rain, drenched to the bone

I hope the road is paved for you

Rather than as rocky as mine

I hope you find the perfect woman

Just don’t wrap her in twine

But I have a funny feeling

You won’t meet the past again

She was too sweet to go on

Playing your pretend

Cuz’ she wanted reality,

instead of the fallacy

created inside your head

To avoid seeing the hell she’d see

As she cried in bed

Feeling used and abused

As the next option, you fed

All the lies about her to

Giving others the lead

But I hope you remember how much you hated yourself

before anyone else

Even tried to love you

I hope you remember someday

When her face finally turns blue

How much she tried to give to you…

When she had nothing

Nothing at all

As you helped orchestrate her undeserved fall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Don’t Remember

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I don’t remember what you said to me?

But

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

I tried to put my pride aside but

every single time you tried

to lie

Manipulate and hide

All the blame inside my heart…

And now I sit here torn apart

Feeling like I didn’t have a chance

from the very start…

What was that baby?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was I going to be better (than her) ?

Or was I better off without you?

I feel like a jigsaw puzzle

And I can’t find all the pieces

No I can’t find all the pieces

Oh, why’d you make me your queen

if you were just planning on leaving?

Was it going to be better (than her)?

Was I ever going to be better than her…

to you?

 

 

Bring Them Alive

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I have to bring them alive and out of my head…

Or they will never truly be alive

And could end up dead..

A tragic waste, someone should have read…

Stored all inside my defiant head…

 

And I’m losing sleep as the words pull me out of bed…

waking me from my dreams to live in reality instead…

Oh I have to be alive and out of my head…

Oh why, she first cried, wanting to slumber instead…

Like a forgotten fragment time had led…

to a narrow path in the woods

instead of what Frost had said….

And now she still sits peacefully at the dead end..

The stillness comforts her, as she tries to mend….

Her feet from all the pathways she tried to bend…

Just to find something, she had in her head…

Just to find a way she could have led…

herself away from this place…

And into what she thought was reality instead…

But turns out to be a figment of her imagination

And in time she finds the soul is just intertwined…

Particles of space and time…

 

And she tried to climb the ladder,

blinded by the thought of it all being gone

Instead of just trying to remain strong

Holding herself up, while trying not to pull anyone else along…

in her already weighted down mind….

 

 

Oh, I have to bring them alive and out of my head…

Or they will never truly be alive

And could end up dead..

A beautiful waste that should have been read

A beautiful song, that should have been played..

Outside of my head.

 

 

Wishing Well

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Standing around the wishing well
Wishing well…
Hoping that no one can tell
I have been here for a while
With a sad smile
Climbing all the paths alone
And I don’t remember when was the last time
I sang myself a lullaby
and it made me fall asleep
All I do is weep
for all the sad souls in the world…
misunderstood like me.

So I’m just standing around the wishing well
Hoping that no one can tell
I have been here for a while
So I can remember the smell of the pines
All the good times I created and left behind
at the wishing well….

And so it feels I tread all this internally alone…
Frozen feet to the bone…
Like a martyr, always standing alone…
Like a soldier, broken down and left alone…

So I’ll be at the wishing well…
Hoping someday someone can tell
I have been here for a while…
So I can remember how it feels to be alive…
So I can dream
Then toss a coin
So I can bleed
Then toss a coin
So I can seek….
And be my own.

Should Have Been Athena

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I don’t even know what’s reality anymore

Say something to me

I dare you

Because I’m down on the floor

I dropped my shield

and like Apollo you rose

you played your guitar

but little did I know

your splendor was a facade

your heart was so cold

marked by the God Ares

And ready to charge like a boar

Your spear in your hand…

looking up at Mars, craving more…

 

I came to you like Aphrodite

When I should have been Athena

I came to you as the goddess of love

When I should have prepared for the arena…

 

I don’t even know what’s reality anymore

Say something to me

I dare you

Because I’m already on the floor

But I grab my spear

because you always seem ready for more

I battle you day and night

to settle the score

Then I rise like Athena

Fully armored with a crested helm

Striking you down

Becoming fully in charge of my realm

And even when you fell on your knees

I still showed you the greatest of empathy…

even after you broke me down

stole what was left of me….

 

I came to you like Aphrodite

When I should have been Athena

I came to you as the goddess of love

When I should have prepared for the arena…

A Lost Generation

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A lost generation

full of misplaced rage

thinking their on the right side

but often disengaged

stuck in a maze

with no ending in sight

trying to cut through the walls

throughout the night

And their cries can be heard

from all those on the outside

that represent the forgotten

who desired a change in tide…

the ones time forgot

with the opinions they hide

humble is their word

unlike misplaced pride…

they speak in truth

and sometimes their words

are not so smooth…

but are reality infused…

I wish I could help you put your fears aside

but mine ate at me until I had to swallow my pride

And I know what battle you must find

it’s inside of your own mind….

A lost generation

A proclamation to the entity they should detest

thinking their own the ride side

but they stand with the ideas they say they cannot digest

and the irony is so obvious to the rational mind

their delusions create fear and unrest…

And their cries can be heard

from all those on the outside

echoing the emotions they once knew

when they felt pushed aside…

but in that isolation grew strength

That could break a thousand lies…

in that grew struggle

which could not be swept aside…

Blind

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she knows what goes on in her heart

she has known it from the very start

the world around her has torn it apart

oh my oh my she thought

where is my heart?

up in the sun?

or into the dark?

have i been blind and chose the wrong place to start?

My eager spirit tricked by the so called “smart?”

or has this all amounted to the present

and forced me to find what tore me apart?

have i been so blind to see

i already won against the dark?

when I write

fire comes from my heart

and i don’t mean anything good

i think of all those who tore me apart

all my life has been a battle

but i don’t show off the physical marks

it’s a miracle to be alive

when you came from ash

when you came from fire….

then became the fire….

she knows what goes on in her heart

she has known it from the very start

the world around her has torn it apart

oh my oh my she thought

where is my heart?

up in the sun?

or into the dark?

have I been so unforgiving i let myself be thrown into the dark?

have i not cried enough so tricked by the so called “smart?”

or have i amounted this all to something

something I could grow from rather than hide in the dark?

have i been so blind i couldn’t see I already won?

cuz’ when i write i let the fire into my heart

i let all the hate and anger rip me apart

until there is nothing left but to be smart…

believe in myself…

and watch the world fall apart.

Some Sugar

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I’m gonna

Slap that bottom lip

into your nostrils

cuz’ your nose is so high

I cannot see the top of it

or maybe its because

I am too short…

Either way,

It isn’t looking good…..

for you…

but I love me….

so here’s a little rap for thee…

since he’s got all the partridges in the mother-fn tree…

I say

give me some sugar

something nice and sweet

give me a little icing upon my cheek

but your not thinking of a cupcake

just like me….

you’re still thinking of somethin’ else

cuz’ it’s all about thee

not me

I sit around all fake and merry

playing betty crocker

but I am wishing I was a fairy

so I could fly the fuck

outta this town

where none of you can judge me…

cuz’ I’m all smiling

laying jokes

while you all bitch around me…

trying to take my sun

but the problem is

I embrace the moon

and the rhythm of my heart

doesn’t always

skip to the same damn tune….

I say

give me some sugar

something nice and sweet

give me a little icing upon my cheek

but your not thinking of a cupcake

just like me….

you’re still thinking of somethin’ else

cuz’ it’s all about thee

not me, never me…

I’m gonna make you

drown in your own ego

I’m gonna make you frown

until your need slows…

cuz’ you have a big head

and a small neck

there are references to it

a thousand years back

but apparently you didn’t get the memo

it wasn’t forwarded to your inbox

it was on a piece of paper

but to you reading

is like fort Knox..

oh, you’re so intellectual

yet your brain feels  so locked….

oh, you’re so confident….

yet you have to rip someone else apart..

I saw Shawshank Redemption

and you’re not so smart….

I saw where you came from…

and it wasn’t like a fine piece of art…

and I know it was then not now

but you cannot fully forget your past

without losing your sight of your future somehow…

both go hand in hand

like water is to air…

to avoid one or the other

leads everyone to despair…

so don’t forget the ones who always cared…

let the ego drop

on down by your side

take that pride and shove it all inside…

you have nothing to prove

we all have told the truth and lied….

so give me some sugar…

somethin’ sweet.

You Were Nothing Like Me

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You were nothing like me

like God created women and man

you created me out of the epitome

of your own sorrow

so you could borrow

my soul

only to leave it blackened

but still burning like a pile of cinders

beneath your feet

you will drop down to your knees

as the sparks fly into the sky

and away from the lie

you created out of yourself…

There is no way to extinguish

my pain

the memories will become clearer

as I gain

a kind of sanity

you blocked from my reality

the time lost

will become well spent

cuz’ never will I repent my sins

to a man who avoids his….

never will I give my soul

to a man who cannot give his…

never will I bind myself up

and not call it was it is…

a game of betrayal…

with a unsincere kiss.

Backwoods Driving

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Roll them down

the glass is too dirty

from all the times you pressed your face against them

the cold to hard to embrace…

but now a 50 degree day is magic

no weather can keep my windows up

and unopen to the sounds

no rain can make a frown…

cuz’ I was left behind

hiding along the blinds….

Caressing the string to open them

into the depths in of my unconscious mind

 

how did it come to this?

Through illusions

and misfortunes

broken bones and dead end corners…

then back around again

the same streets over…

same windows down

but I never pulled over…

Hit the gas…

the road is your duty…

all the times you went the wrong way…

has held you down with fury…

but don’t you worry…

there should be no fear in discovery…

for your heart was all binded up

and now has a chance for recovery…

How did it come to this?

Through sullen and puffy eyes…

How did I survive all this?

Cuz’ my heart is still alive.