High School Mentality

When I was in High school I was an outsider. Most of you think it is now the cool thing to say you were an outsider in high school; but no it actually wasn’t that cool being picked on a lot. Haha! For real, I was a super dork. I had big glasses, was in band, gymnastics and didn’t honestly care too much about making friends. This seemed to attract bullies quite often. I was in no way alone though, my house was constantly entertaining due to my siblings. Social activity in my house  was constant because my siblings were the social butterflies always having friends over. If I ever wanted to be around people, I could be. I just chose not to be all the time after I found an unreal tournament disc which took up what free time I had left.

Anyways, in study hall I went to get up from the desk but noticed something shiny inside. It was a disc. Not just any other disc but an Unreal Tournament disc. The find made my day after being  picked on. It was beat up beyond what seemed repair but I figured I would try to resurface it anyway. I was ecstatic! Soon I was playing quite often. Obviously back then there were all males mostly playing. I honestly never encountered another female. I hoped and prayed to run into one, but no ha. Never happened. One thing is for sure though, I was becoming very skilled at Unreal Tournament. People would quit out mid game after realizing they were being skilled by a girl in a male dominated game. I made a lot of enemies but I learned how to gain back some confidence and stand up for myself.

Feeling like I discovered another talent I had, I felt extremely irritated people felt the need to bring me down all the time. Was it jealously? Did they like me? How could they like me? I barely looked like I reached puberty at 17 and wasn’t sexy at all? haha! I knew it wasn’t a pick on the girl you like thing with this person. They were honestly a lame-o to all the geeks I started observing. Then it went onto the nice girls. Then onto nice people in general. Then I had enough one day. This lame-o said the worst thing in front of an entire room of people you could have to a teenage girl! He told me I looked like I never reached puberty yet. At that moment, I honestly wanted to walk up and land him a big one to the jaw but I was 4’11” and he was over 6 feet. I imagined having my teeth knocked out and having to walk around looking like Billy Bob Thortons daughter or something the rest of my life. Haha! I thought to myself, obviously he isn’t going to just back off.

I went to the Guidance counselor, who basically didn’t help me, didn’t discipline the lame-o, and just gave me this  “suck it up” attitude response? Suck it up? C’mon I sucked it up for months lady? I need to get homework done in study hall & not be annoyed I thought. I became angry, told her I would take it into my own hands then and left.

I wanted to make this lame-o feel as embarrassed as I did when he told everyone I didn’t reach puberty in study hall. I couldn’t sleep well all that week, having dreams of revenge then waking up to realize the lame-o was still bullying people around. I felt like I had to put him in his place, not just for myself but for everyone else too.

At lunch, a friend jokingly said: you know what would be great?! If you dumped milk over his head in front of the whole cafeteria. Just kidding!

Whew OOOhhh. Sirens went off inside my head. It was a brilliantly crafted spontaneous idea.  I said sure. I’ll do it. I preceded to walk up to where they milk was sold, made sure to buy the largest container possible and came back to the table. They all busted out their phones, ready and waiting. I made a run for him. Stood behind him and unleashed a stream of milk over his head and sweater. I don’t think he even realized what was going on because I was so short, when he sat down I was still hidden behind him. He said “My mom bought me this sweater!” Everyone started laughing hysterically. Applauding as well.

It was time to run though. The fury in his eyes made me want to laugh even more but I couldn’t laugh and run for my life. I chose to run into the girls bathroom because I knew he wasn’t going to try to get inside there. Fortunately as well, I had a herd of people, mostly women and nerds following me, laughing and congratulating me. They were also trying to prevent me from a severe potential beating. He hurt their esteem as well repeatedly and the school did absolutely nothing; they were also told to sort of suck it up in a way. The outcry was amazing. I thought it was just a few of us who were being bullied by this person but it seemed like a lot more people than I thought. Which leads me to the question: why should we all suck it up so this one person can torment others? What gives them the right to take their crap out on other strangers? No they shouldn’t be able to dictate when rules are reinforced or not. Rules are rules and need to be obeyed and respected. People who are not kind to you, don’t deserve to be respected either. They deserve either confrontation or a cold shoulder.

Which brings up an important question now about bullying in modern society: What is too far? Especially on the internet? In my opinion, if you cuss at someone who didn’t at you, send your “squad” after their SM accounts, and create a hostile environment it seems everywhere they go (where there is someone affiliated with you), you have a bully mentality from High School. The kind of mentality that should have been disciplined out of you at a young age in some way. Someone should have given you a taste of your own medicine by now if necessary to wake you up with the fact you have no empathy. And too often when I see someone give these kind of people a taste of their own medicine, they cannot handle it. They throw out terms like hate speech if you use your intellect. I advise those who throw around the word hate speech to actually research it. Hate speech isn’t standing up for yourself politely, nor is it affiliated with the high school term “talking crap.” There is actually a definition and it shouldn’t be thrown around, especially when it comes to people you previously treated like dirt.  So stop cowardly reporting people for hate speech without actually knowing what it is.

If you don’t like someone, there is a block button. There is also a mute button as well for your convenience. In life, you would just avoid these negative people so the same should apply to the internet really. To go out of your way to fuel targeted harassment is one of the most immature ways to conduct yourself on the internet. No one has to like you. No one has to like me either. But I ask for people to respect each other a bit more and if you find yourself ready to unleash the fury; consider using the block or mute button before things escalate. No one likes to be stressed, bullied, and/or trolled so move on with your life and do better for yourself and the people around you. Stop finding enjoyment in hurting other people, when you don’t even know what they are going through. Thanks.

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